I fully admit to having a “Type A” personality and consider it more of a blessing than a negative mark on my life, as it has motivated me to achieve many goals in my life.  This competitive streak has ostensibly colored my efforts as a national level NPC Bikini Competitor and keeps me motivated to continue stepping on stage and improving my game.  However, I have seen such a competitive drive ruin people when it becomes excessive and clouds their sense of reality, forms barriers against their social talents and pits them opposite others.

I have seen “normal” gymrats who are invested in reaching a personal best every time they train and who may engage in playful rivalries with their gym buddies, challenging each other to see who can squat the most weight or pound out the most reps.  I have also seen gymrats who become so hostile towards others that they begin to lose the filter which separates a driven individual from a boastful jerk who thinks of nothing other than constantly upstaging others.  This also occurs in the competitive arena and can cause an entire dressing room of competitors to harbor contempt towards a competitor who lacks the decency to celebrate the victories of others.  Yes, there are “sore losers” born out of competitions who become so intent on being the best that they forget the importance of conducting oneself with humility and grace.  It can be exhilarating to win, and it can also be exhilarating to know that you lifted the heaviest weight.  But to do this while bearing hatred towards others because you have to be “the best” is an exercise in social failure.

For the normal person who is making concerted efforts to improve his or her physique for personal satisfaction, bear in mind that your successes are yours to celebrate but do not give you license to be rude to others.  If your gains are appreciable, allow other people to recognize those gains and approach you with praise.  If you are a competitor, the same guidelines apply to you as well.

I know of one competitor in particular who, when praised on her physique, boasts how tremendous it is and will not stop talking about how stellar she is.  She never compliments other female competitors and will balk if she is beaten by another woman.  Whenever I see her do this I honestly feel sorry for her because she has never experienced the thrill of celebrating the victories of others.  When she enters a competition, all she cares about is winning.  I honestly don’t think she enjoys the experience of competing and as a result reinforces her skewed and self-absorbed perspective on life.

This is not to say that a bit of healthy rivalry isn’t warranted.  What always strikes me is how two competitors who always seem to be neck and neck at every contest they both enter will congratulate each other on a job well done regardless of their placings, and in such a manner that it is obvious how much mutual respect and admiration exists between them. They push each other, but in a positive and playful way.  A specific example is the healthy rivalry between Jay Cutler and Phil Heath at Olympia last year.  Jay seemed truly happy for Phil when he won the Olympia title and the mutual admiration and respect was palpable.

In summary, it is acceptable to have a bit of rivalry with your buddies and other competitors, provided you regard each other with respect.