I stumbled upon sobering news from the Bankrate Emergency Savings Report, which reported that only 44% of Americans would be able to cover a $1,000 emergency if it arose. The remaining group of Americans would do the following (according to the December 2023 Bankrate report):
“35% would borrow money, including 21% who would finance with a credit card and pay it off over time, 10% who would borrow from family or friends and 4% who would take out a personal loan.”
It turns out that over 20% of Americans have no emergency savings set aside, leaving them completely unprepared should they experience a significant financial loss such as termination of employment. Another staggering report from Bankrate is that more than one-third of Americans have more credit card debt than emergency savings. Granted, more than half of the U.S. population according to the poll has more emergency savings than credit card debt, but the mere fact that such a large portion of Americans is saddled with significant credit card debt is sobering.
If you are someone who either has no emergency savings, or an insufficient amount to cover at least 3 months of regular expenses, it would be a good idea to focus on putting even a small amount of money into a high yield savings account in order to build up your emergency fund. It’s a good idea to get into the habit of depositing money into an emergency fund at least once a month, especially if you automate it. This way, you are protecting yourself by fattening up your emergency fund on a regular basis. Make sure to steer clear of traditional bank savings accounts, since the average yield on such accounts is 0.59 percent APY.
I have to admit that I have become a huge fan of scented candles in the past few years, preferably from Voluspa. There is something incredibly enjoyable about lighting a favorite candle each afternoon or evening and allowing the fragrance to permeate the room, evoking a certain mood. Since I don’t always want to smell the same aroma, I have numerous different scented candles nestled in various parts of the house, and will even ask guests to select a fragrance which resonates with them.
The reason why I prefer Voluspa candles is because they are of excellent quality, the vessels are beautiful, and many of the fragrances are absolutely divine. Whether I decide to experience a scrumptious fruit melange, an exotic woody bamboo, or a magical spice, I absolutely love the nightly ritual I have developed of lighting a candle and enjoying the illumination, the beauty of the candle jar, and the bouquet which these candles impart. Voluspa candle jars are so incredibly gorgeous and versatile that I have cleaned many of them and repurposed them to store things like cotton balls, makeup brushes, etc. There is even a suggestion from Voluspa to repurpose their 5-wick hearth candles into champagne buckets, which actually makes perfect sense.
If you want to fill your home with delicious fragrance, I would highly recommend checking out Voluspa, and no, this is not a sponsored post. That’s how much I appreciate candles from this master candle making house.
It seems that people are more prone to ghosting others than ever before, and it is incredibly frustrating to deal with people who do so. Such individuals reveal a glaring lack of empathy and a very low emotional intelligence quotient when they choose to ignore another human being over being direct and honest about how they feel. Some would argue that such behavior serves as an acceptable defense mechanism, but ghosting is just one of the ways in which narcissistic behavior emerges. Plainly stated, ghosting is a form of emotional abuse.
There may be times in which you might have been ghosted by someone, only to hear from that person again, without any explanation of why you were ghosted in the first place. If someone dares to do this, I would hope that any of you reading this article would do the sensible thing and block that person from your life. Undoubtedly, the person wants some type of emotional support from you and has decided to contact you again, but they lost the right to do so when they cut you off abruptly. Even if that person doesn’t contact you directly, but haunts you on social media, you are far better off blocking that person on social media and moving on, because that individual is toxic.
I was tricked by a lovebomber in March, and am still stunned by how quickly the so-called relationship advanced, how much of a textbook lovebomber the guy turned out to be, and how I felt like a complete fool at the end of the whole process. I am so enraged by what happened that I felt the need to warn other women about this type of man, and RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.
Physically speaking, Ted wasn’t the type of man I would usually go for. He was very slender, had very long hair halfway down his back (not my thing at all), and was unusual looking. I dug the fact that he was half Japanese though, because as a half-Japanese woman, I have found that I relate so well to other half-Japanese people, and was even engaged to a half-Japanese man many years ago. As soon as Ted found out that I was half-Japanese, he highlighted that fact, and even told me that he had gotten a sign some years ago that the love of his life would be half-Japanese and would have a name that started with an S. I now believe that he made that up to pull me in emotionally.
I was also concerned about his checkered past, but as soon as we started chatting on the dating app that fateful Monday, I felt so much at ease with him that it honestly didn’t matter. Our first phone call the following night lasted 7 hours, then on Wednesday night we had another 7-hour phone conversation. We made plans to meet for dinner in my part of town on Thursday night, and he took care of selecting a restaurant, stating “you’re so busy and I want to make sure that I always help you out” which I mistakenly thought was a sweet gesture. As it turned out, someone hit his car when he was en route to my place and totaled his car, but since his car was still driveable, he continued to head to my place. He did ask me if we could take my car, to which I agreed without hesitation.
When Ted showed up at my door, I honestly felt like I was a participant in the show Love Is Blind, because though we had connected so beautifully on the phone, his appearance left a bit to be desired. He wore a surf pullover and jeans, not exactly appropriate for a night out on the town. He also had a disheveled appearance, but I shrugged it off. I drove us to the restaurant, a small sushi bar in my area, and we had such a fantastic time chatting and eating there that we agreed to continue the evening at my home by listening to music and talking. Our late night chat progressed into an overnight visit.
The next morning, we just kept talking until about 11 am, without a care in the world. Ted stated that despite the fact that he would have to call the insurance company about his car, and also arrange to have his other car fixed so that he could drive it, he didn’t want to leave. So I ordered lunch to be delivered, which he insisted on paying for. We continued talking for several hours, so I ordered dinner to be delivered, which he also paid for. Ted didn’t leave my place until about midnight that Friday. Ted told me on Friday that he already deleted the dating app, and I happily followed suit.
Since Ted was about to start an intense new job the following week, and also since he had car issues, that meant that we would have to rely on phone calls and texts, as well as me visiting him. He called me that Saturday, and we had a 6-hour phone call, during which he told me he loved me, and I swooned, returning the sentiment to him. What a whirlwind the whole experience was! I made arrangements to go to his place on Sunday, and told him I would cook for him, especially since he revealed to me that no woman had ever cooked for him. I lugged all the spices and other ingredients we needed for dinner to his place and cooked dinner, then stayed over that night. I made enough food to get him through his first week at the new job. The following morning, I took him to his new place of employment.
The second week with Ted was a bit rough, because he was forced to work a grueling schedule which included a 2:30 pm to 1:00 am shift that started on Wednesday. But by that time, I was so blinded by love that I was willing to do anything to help him out.
Skipping ahead to the second Saturday with Ted in my life, I was suddenly met with a cold shoulder. I was yet again supposed to go to his place to cook dinner as well as food for him for the following week, and we had agreed that it would be a good idea for me to come by around 11 am so that we could maximize our weekend time together. I was running behind, so I texted him to let him know. No response. I texted him around 12:15 pm to let him know I was on the road, and got a text from him saying that he had forgotten that he had a funeral to attend (he had mentioned this several days before, but we both forgot about it), that he had forgotten about it, but that I could still come over because he had given me a key to his place. I stated that I had stuff to do at home, and that I would prefer to wait until he got home after the funeral. Despite the fact that I was a bit miffed about the fact that he couldn’t text me or call me to let me know that he realized that he had to go to the funeral, I attributed it to him being sleep-deprived.
When I finally arrived at his place that Saturday evening, he was oddly distant, and when I asked if he was all right, he said that he was sad because of the funeral. However, he didn’t touch me, and when I touched him, he almost recoiled. Since I had so much food to prepare, I set about cooking everything while he blabbed about his day. The evening progressed nicely, but he was still a bit off. The next morning, as I was leaving, I asked him if he wanted to talk that night, to which he replied, “Oh yes, babe, absolutely”, and kissed me goodbye.
Ted then proceeded to ghost me. I didn’t hear a peep from him all day Sunday, and when I saw the next morning that he was active on Instagram, I became extremely irritated. I texted him, asking what was going on. His response was to dump me, stating that he wouldn’t be ready for a relationship for a while, and that he hoped that I would find what I was looking for in a relationship. Just like that, he was done with me.
Ladies, you have to be careful with these lovebombers! They will promise you the moon and stars, then pull the rug out from under you. I feel like such a fool, and now my radar is sharpened so that I never fall victim to that nonsense ever again.
What is a True Mirror? It’s a non-image-reversing mirror, nestled in a box frame, which enables you to see yourself as others see you. The issue with the True Mirror is that it can be quite jarring to finally see oneself as everyone else sees them. John Walter, the founder of the brand True Mirror, states in an email to Alix Tunell from RealSelf News:
“For many people, especially image-conscious people, the perception of asymmetry is overwhelming. It’s unfortunate, because it’s exaggerated—because things are on the opposite side [from what you’re used to seeing], they get doubled in your own perception.”
This was certainly the case for me the first time I looked into the True Mirror, and I was so rattled by my facial asymmetry that I refused to gaze into the contraption for several days. I understand now that my brain is still exaggerating subtle differences when I look into the True Mirror, and that I can gain comfort by looking into a standard reversing mirror. I also understand that the True Mirror is best appreciated when your face is animated, because you will then see the true reflection of your energy. It’s a complete trip and something I would recommend to anyone.
I absolutely love this Ted Talk by Caroline McHugh, so I am reposting it a second time. She is a brilliant woman who speaks so eloquently and honestly about the sense of self.
You might not have thought much about this, but your perception of your own face is different than what other people see. The most frequent view we have of ourselves is in a mirror, which is a flipped version of how we really look. However, since the image we see is inverted, we often feel more comfortable with how we look in a mirror, as opposed to photographs. We also have the option of looking at selfies, which are even worse, since they distort our features due to the wide-angle design of the camera lens.
The closest representation of how others see us is via photographs, but depending on the lens type used, even photos can present distortions which don’t accurately represent our faces. We may think the camera is capturing us exactly how others perceive us, but those lenses often make some features more prominent than others, and thus quite different from how we really look. Another big factor which comes into play with looking in a mirror or at a photograph is that both are two-dimensional images, so we can never truly appreciate our own faces as the dynamic, three-dimensional countenances which others see.
There is a concept called the True Mirror which enables us to regard our own faces exactly as others do. For a great TED lecture on face recognition which discusses the True Mirror, check out this link:
The wonderful folks at INEVIFIT sent me this Eros Pro Massage Gun to review, and I have to say, it’s a very high quality piece of equipment! Please check out my video review for more information, as well as the limited time promo code which you can use for $35 off and free shipping.
Evidently there is a money saving hack which has been trending on social media, in which you label 100 envelopes with numbers, ranging in sequence from 1 to 100. The number on each envelope is the dollar amount which you are supposed to put in the envelope. The idea is that you would place money into an envelope every single day for 100 days, and at the end of those 100 days, you would have $5,050, which is quite impressive. The envelopes are picked at random each day, so the amount you place in the envelope will be a surprise.
However, for people like me who are always cash poor, it would be difficult to gather up actual cash and physically place it into an envelope every day. It also seems rather challenging to try to come up with $100 cash when the 100 envelope is pulled, so a couple of variations include numbering the envelopes from 1 to 50 twice or 1 to 20 five times. You could as another option use an online banking or cash app and add the money that way.
I recently had a random memory which popped up in my head a few weeks ago of a maroon satin dress which captured my attention as a pre-teen and which made me feel like a disco queen. Granted, I got the dress in 1977, so it makes sense that I felt disco vibes whenever I wore it. It featured spaghetti straps, had a hidden elastic waist, and a slender A-line skirt which hugged my emerging curves. Unfortunately, I don’t have any images of me wearing the frock, but I remember it so vividly, and I will never forget how it made me feel. It had a lovely silky feel to it and fit so nicely.
Of course I can’t find anything online that approximates the style of the dress I had as a kid, but I found a sexy modern take on a satin dress:
dr. stacey naito's blog 