I love this Ravish Sands suit and felt great in it when I competed earlier this year. I knew I was taking a chance of getting washed out a bit onstage, but I still had a great time in Sacramento and Phoenix! Before I left Phoenix, I had the good fortune to shoot with Steven Trujillo of Trudge Photo, and we got some fantastic images.
Ever since my dear friend and meditation teacher Rob died, I have been more aware of little moments I can capture during the course of a typical day which can also serve as brief meditation sessions. One thing I have gotten into the habit of lately is pausing before I stretch and get out of bed, allowing myself to enjoy a moment of stillness. I spend a couple of minutes observing my breathing, how energy flows through me, and how the room feels, looks and sounds. It’s a welcome change from the rushed manner in which I used to hit the ground running as soon as I woke up.
Kazu and Tenshi, my dogs trapped in cats’ bodies
My rescue kitty and nap buddy Shima
The most fulfilling and endearing moments I have allowed myself to indulge in are the ones I spend with my cats. Two of my cats are very doglike and love everyone, while the third cat is extremely attached to me. All three are sweet and tend to demand a lot of my attention when I am home, but I often keep my interaction with them to a minimum because I am in the midst of a pile of work and usually typing or running around the house doing chores. Like faithful dogs, my cats will often follow me from room to room, looking up at me expectantly, purring away and doling out unconditional love.
I have made a concerted effort lately to greet my cats with pets and kisses in the morning while they are sprawled out on my bed. When I come home, I will often lie on the floor, bed, or sofa with them, taking a few moments to just be with them. My shy rescue cat, Shima, will frequently lie on my chest while I pet her, and if we are both very relaxed, we will take a nap together in this position. Every once in a while, a feeling of guilt will wash over me, even though I know I will most likely finish all the items on my to-do list for the day. But this feeling passes quickly, and I remember how important the bonding process with pets is. Even as I write this I have all three cats in the living room with me, with my boy lying alongside my left leg.
My blue male Burmese, Tenshi, is very much a dude and exhibits alpha type behavior with the other two (female) cats. But he also loves to be hugged and squeezed, will push his face into my hands and actually likes having his muzzle grabbed and scratched and his belly softly rubbed while he is on his back. He is also a lap kitty and will often snuggle with me while I write away. My female European Burmese, Kazu, will sometimes take up residence on my lap, and at other times, will rest her head on her favorite pillow just like a human would, and will watch me work. Kazu is also the cat who plays fetch, greets me at the door most faithfully, and purrs if I merely look at her. Basically, my cats make it very easy for me to steal moments of presence and joy with them. I just wasn’t paying enough attention to their signals before Rob died.
If you have pets and you find yourself ignoring them because of your workload, do yourself and them a favor by pausing each day to bond with them. I am not talking about a couple of quick pets, I am referring to a true connection in which your animal senses that you are fully interacting and remaining in the moment. There have been particularly hectic times in which I became so incredibly busy that my cats got nothing more than a perfunctory tickle under the chin or an ear scratch, but considering how highly socialized two of them are and how needy my rescue cat is, I definitely neglected them somewhat during those times. It doesn’t seem fair to them, especially considering the fact that they greet me at the door, hang out with me in whatever room I am in, and sleep by my side at night. Who knows? Maybe if I had a daily nap with Shima atop my chest, all my stress would easily melt away.
I am a very fast walker by nature. I am not sure how I became that way because my mom is a very slow, methodical walker. In contrast, I will fly by people, zigzagging my way through a crowd at a rate that surprises others. My default speed is 3.5 miles per hour, and this is the case whether I am walking from my car to the gym, walking up to the bank teller, strolling through the grocery store, or walking along a sidewalk. What pumps my walk up even more is my energy and impatience. I am constantly moving, even tapping my feet when I am forced to sit in one spot for more than a couple of minutes. There have been occasions in which friends have told me to slow down, but when this happens, I have to make an effort to change the rate at which I walk.
Another thing I do rapidly is eat. I developed this bad habit during medical residency days when I had to adopt an eat-when-you-can, pee-when-you-can, sleep-when-you-can mentality. I became accustomed to shoveling food in my gullet, and the habit has persisted out of necessity. More often than not, I am usually in a major rush when I eat a meal, either because I need to get ready for work, I am at work with a patient waiting, or I am about to drive over to a meeting. Even when I have the opportunity to savor a meal, I still have a tendency to rush through the experience.
It seems incongruous for me to have such habits, because I typically conduct myself in a relatively calm manner. I never rush through projects or plans and always have a blueprint of what I intend to do. As a matter of fact, I hate being rushed when I am concentrating or trying to complete a task. But once a plan is in place, I am quick and efficient and work best that way. That same focus and energy goes into my workouts, when I keep moving from one exercise to another, barely resting. It fits my style, and my body enjoys the constant movement.
There is such a thing as TOO BIG when it comes to breasts that are surgically augmented. In my humble opinion the limit has been reached when each of a woman’s breasts is larger than her face. Some women don’t have a choice and have to deal with what Mother Nature bestowed upon them, but other women actually choose to go under the knife to have excessively large implants surgically installed. I have even heard women say pre-surgery that they were hoping to achieve a cartoonish Jessica Rabbit look with extremely large, round implants. In other words, they wanted their breasts to look fake.
When breasts look like distorted balloons, the natural curved architecture is lost. Another problem with extremely large implants is that men (and women) tend to regard women who have them as cheap, slutty, and lacking in intelligence. I realize that these are gross generalizations, but they are so common that any woman who tries to deny this is a fool. It’s important to be aware of how people may potentially regard you once you have a surgical augmentation, and if you have a problem with society’s impression of very large breasts, you might want to reconsider the size you are getting (if you don’t care, then more power to you!). Every once in a while I will see a beautiful woman with a delicate face and petite body who went overboard with the implants and as a result looks top heavy. For women who compete in the bodybuilding world, large implants can be very distracting, and not in a positive way.
Some augmented breasts may look alluring or eye catching when clothed, but horrifying when uncovered as a result of surgical revisions, scarring, ripples, unevenness, improper nipple position or capsular contracture. Almost every single woman I have talked to who has had extremely large implants (i.e., implants which have created a DDD or larger cup size) has had to have surgical revision. Some women who have had breast augmentation surgery also lose sensation in the nipples and in the breasts, obliterating that area of the body as an erogenous zone. It is also important to consider the anterior load on the chest which results from large implants and how it impacts posture. And forget about finding clothes off the rack that fit an extremely large bust.
The breast area is quite prone to body dysmorphia, which in large part explains why gargantuan breast implants are sometimes requested. Since the breast’s primary function is to provide nutrients to a baby, women and men will often equate a fuller or larger breast with greater fertility and femininity. While it is fine for a woman to desire larger breasts, selecting an extremely large implant size may only reinforce any insecurities about a woman’s sense of self and sexuality.
Before I dive into this topic, I want to make it very clear that I am proud and honored to be a physician. I endured four years of medical school and three years of residency training because I had a lifelong love of medicine and truly wanted to be a healer. That being said, I have never been nor will I ever be what is considered typical for a physician. Don’t expect me to talk about medical cases and read medical tomes when I am away from the office. Many of my colleagues are so unbalanced that they will eat, breathe and live medicine constantly, but that is not my style at all. Some of them are also social misfits and cannot talk about a non-medical topic without stumbling and bumbling. The social awkwardness of some physicians is so painful to witness that I find myself cringing and looking for a quick exit when social hour begins at a conference or medical dinner.
I keep my fitness background on low profile when in medical circles because I realize that some of my colleagues may regard what I do in the fitness world as highly irregular and downright scandalous. To be honest, I really don’t give a hoot what they think, but because I don’t enjoy being scrutinized by conservative types, I avoid discussing my fitness activities as much as possible when at medical events. I realize that aside from our medical backgrounds, my colleagues and I share almost NOTHING in common. What could I possibly say to a colleague who brings a stethoscope to a medical dinner (yes, I have seen colleagues do this!)? The lives of most docs are boring to an extreme and do not hold my interest. I am not saying that all doctors are like this, but I definitely keep my interaction those who act like medical snobs to a bare minimum. There are a few doctors who will make a point of pimping the other docs at a dinner table. Pimping refers to quizzing on medical topics and cases and is typically performed by a professor or proctor and directed at a student or resident during teaching forums or rotations. It is extremely tacky when a physician attempts to pimp his colleagues and is a clear sign of an inflated ego.
I don’t mind standing out in the flock with plumage that is brighter. It honestly suits me. But it doesn’t mean I am less than the other doctors who are out there. I am licensed and board certified, a published medical researcher and see patients on a regular basis. Thank goodness I have a very full life, one that is so varied and exciting that I can easily escape the dry and often depressing climate of medicine and enjoy something that has twists and turns.
I have been struggling to assemble various elements of my personal branding on my own, but this task has proven to be extremely challenging. One of the first things I worked on was a logo, but after seven months, I still have nothing to show for it. Part of the problem is that I only have ideas of what I want to convey, and I have to rely on the creative vision of a logo designer to interpret my ideas in a way that is cohesive with my brand. This project has dragged on and on, and I am now beginning to doubt whether I will have a logo before the end of the year. There are countless other things on my to-do list, such as compiling an email list, revamping my three websites, designing a newsletter template, etc. I don’t have the expertise, nor do I have the time to do all of these things on my own. So I have been sitting on these projects as well.
Another thing I was hoping to get into place was a public relations person to help me with my image and to increase my exposure. Here’s where I ran into another wall. I had a meeting recently with a very competent and talented PR person but as we continued to discuss my goals and my vision, I realized that there was a disconnect. This person went through my images online and explained why certain images fell outside the realm of certain goals I was trying to achieve. While I understood that some images were less conservative than what a typical physician would take, I also felt attacked and restrained. Part of what I love about being who I am right now is the fact that I AM atypical, that I am defying the odds, and that I am challenging stereotypes.
One thing this person told me was that I needed to consider what a certain television show producer would think of me if he saw how I portray myself on the internet. With all due respect, I don’t live my life for others, and I will NOT conform for the sake of being invited on someone else’s TV show. I have enjoyed my personal freedoms and feel that as long as I honor the boundaries of common decency, I am NOT going to start doing photo shoots in business suits. That is simply NOT me and I would be miserable if I was FORCED to do that. I will never be the kind of person who will fit in a neat little conservative box. Try doing that to me and I will rebel.
In an era where the more outlandish and crazy someone is on television, the more popular they are, why is it that I am expected to remain on the straight and narrow path, with the reins pulled tight against my expression and my personality? I honestly don’t want to EVER sell out and become what a TV network or what middle America expects me to be. Perhaps Dr. Oz’s popularity stems somewhat from his conservative vibe, but I can tell you that when it comes to image, I will never be a predictable female version of that guy. No way. Don’t expect me to wear scrubs on a national TV show or dress in conservative garb just to appease the viewers. I am an IFBB Bikini Pro and very proud of it. So what if I model swimwear and fitness apparel? So what if I like to look sexy? Since when is that a crime?
My plan is to keep doing what I am doing, remain true to myself, maintain my integrity and keep moving closer to my ultimate goals.
I cannot figure out why people these days are prone to ignoring texts. I understand that it can be difficult to respond to voicemail messages and email messages throughout the day, but is it so difficult to respond to someone’s text? I have a tendency to be quite brief with my texts, and I am by no means the type of person who engages in small talk via text, simply because I don’t have the time or the inclination to do such a thing. However, if someone texts me with an important or time sensitive question or issue, I am courteous enough to respond as quickly as I am able to. Accordingly, if I text someone about something important, I expect a response. If I have to keep texting, my irritation increases exponentially with each follow-up text, and I think to myself, why am I expending all this energy to follow up when this person is being so damned rude?
There was one situation I dealt with recently which irritated me to no end. It pertained to a poorly functioning central A/C unit in my home during triple digit weather, creating an ugent situation. I texted the property manager regarding the situation, and waited three days. When I got no response, I sent another text and also included a note with our rent checks. Instead of getting a text response, I received a call four days later from someone else at the management company who wanted to send someone that morning to look at the A/C. I agreed to it and someone was dispatched to our place that day. If you’re doing the math here, it took 7 days to address an urgent issue. When I returned home I saw evidence that the service technician had been in our place, but there were parts lying around so I texted the manager with questions regarding the parts. I then waited another WEEK before getting a call from the associate who finally addressed my questions regarding parts which were lying around, then told me that the manager was often out of town. Excuse me? If that was an issue, he should have sent a quick text or called me to clarify his situation instead of ignoring me like that. In my estimation, that shows a glaring lack of consideration.
It seems so strange to me that people avoid texting when it is the quickest and most convenient way to communicate via communication devices. I think it is downright RUDE when a person ignores a greeting or an expression of positive vibes which are sent via text. More recently, I have been blocking people who have repeatedly shown a lack of consideration and a complete absorption in themselves. Life is far too short to deal with such insults!
Ever since I began competing in 2009, I have become a high maintenance traveler. It’s almost impossible to avoid becoming high maintenance when things like finding a gym and locating clean food are foremost in one’s mind. I’m not saying that it’s not possible to stay on track with workouts and food while traveling, but foraging for certain “fitness” resources becomes an essential part of prepping for a trip in a fitness person’s life.
I honestly believe that it is always possible to create intense workouts in any location by performing plyometrics, calisthenics, climbing stairs, running on the beach, etc. However, I also know that those of us who love lifting weights go through iron withdrawals when a gym is not available during travels. My first question when a trip is being booked is, “Where is the closest gym, and how is it equipped?”, rather than what sights there are to check out. No hotel room routine or outdoor workout will ever feel as good to me as weightlifting.
Road trips are the easiest since a car can be loaded up with meals and water, but I am always concerned about whether there is a refrigerator in the hotel room at my destination. Though I am resourceful and can put my food on ice, food spoilage is almost inevitable after a couple of days. Packing food when traveling by plane is much trickier since certain food items either travel poorly or are not allowed by TSA. If you need to bring a lot of food and decide to check in your food bag, be prepared for the possibility of lost luggage. My food bag was lost for 24 hours on one trip when I was traveling to a national contest, all because the airline had cancelled a flight, yet had neglected to reroute my food after they booked me on a replacement flight! I also had to spend the night in a freezing cold airport terminal during that trip, so by the time I got to my final destination, I was exhausted and frustrated. When I discovered that my food had been lost, I literally began crying. Eventually my bag was found and delivered to me, but 7 pounds of chicken and beef were on the verge of spoiling by the time the bag was back in my possession.
Traveling abroad holds even more challenges for the fitness person, since many countries don’t offer clean meal prep services. Even if a local market is located, how will food be prepped if your hotel room lacks a kitchen? I am currently facing this challenge as I prepare for a trip to Hungary. I will make sure to pack a bunch of whey protein, Quest bars and nuts to at least ensure that I meet my body’s daily protein needs. I have also looked into purchasing prepped meals and having them shipped to the hotel on the day of my arrival. Thank goodness I will be staying in a room with a kitchenette when I travel to Sydney, and can cook up a bunch of fish and chicken once I arrive there.
I know that those of you who are not involved in the fitness industry must be reading this and thinking that I am nuts, while those of you in fitness will be able to relate to what I have been saying in this article. The thing is, I don’t want my body to rebel from radically different eating habits or food choices, so I will uphold my high maintenance perspective and do everything in my power to eat clean. Most countries tend to consume whole foods and aren’t in the habit of eating copious amounts of fast foods, a fact which I am thankful for. I look forward to consuming the local produce and trying new foods while staying clean.
