Have you ever known someone who could throw on the charm when the need arose, while the rest of the time, the person had a strong tendency to behave as though he or she hated the entire world? Did this person’s behavior weave between the two extremes of sweet and mean? Were you at the receiving end of this bizarre pattern?
Psychopaths manufacture a bizarre cycle of alternating meanness and sweetness as a safeguard against you seeing their true colors and leaving them. The meanness can surface through an insult, a threat or a verbal attack. The next day, the psychopath will act as if the verbal assault never occurred, and a pattern of attack and sweep-under-the-rug ensues. All the partner wants is for the psychopath to be NICE, but this is impossible for the psychopath to maintain, because his inner self is mean and nasty.
When you are at the receiving end of a “mean attack” as I like to call it, you’ll think to yourself, “Wow, this person acts like he/she hates me.” That’s because, deep down, the psychopath DOES hate you. The sweetness is just an act to keep you engaged enough so you don’t see the person’s true colors and are kept guessing.
It’s FUN for them to upset you, to get a rise out of you. They won’t think twice about saying hurtful things to you, because they lack what you have: a conscience.
One unfortunate thing about psychopaths is that they are forever locked into their sweet to mean patterns because their personality traits are indelible parts of their personalities. What’s worse, they fail to recognize how broken they truly are. Their tempers are wicked, but they will never acknowledge their outbursts. Instead, they will push you into crazytown by egging you on until you finally explode. Why? So they can blame you for the shit they started in the first place.
If you find yourself entangled in the cycle of sweet and mean with someone, do yourself a favor and end the relationship. It will save your self-esteem.