Category life

Stop Saying, “It Is What It Is”! (repost)

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“It is what it is.”

I cannot understand why this phrase has become so popular, because it is incredibly stupid and redundant. I cringe every single time I hear someone utter it, and am dismayed by the number of people I know who have adopted this into their current communication behaviors. Why has it suddenly become so trendy to state the obvious in this manner? I can’t help but think that everyone who utters this string of words either hasn’t given much thought to the circular reasoning buried in it, or has developed a pathological and resigned attitude towards life in which circumstances are shrugged off. Come on guys, take a little responsibility, would you?

Copyright: rnl

If we look at res ipsa loquitur logic, this legal term indicates that someone is presumed to be negligent if that individual had control over what caused the injury. But since I took two years of Latin in high school, I am more intrigued by the original semantics and logic of this particular phrase. If we apply this idea of negligence to the statement, “it is what it is”, does that mean that people are blaming fate, or the lockdown, for the unraveling of society which has occurred in the past three years, or are they simply resigning themselves to fate when they utter that? All I know is that I have heard it far too often in the past couple of years, and it is raising my ire.

I truly enjoy and appreciate what Ethan Ryan from The Fiddleback has to say about this idiotic statement:

“It is what it is” is a waste of words, a waste of breath. I mean, sure, I get it. It expresses the same sentiment as the French “C’est la vie!” But still, it irks me. It’s just a repetitive series of defeatist monosyllables. Why not just say “It is,” or for that matter, “It’s”?

Of course it is what it is! How could it be anything but it?

The only context in which that phrase would be appropriate would be if somebody asked “Is it what it is?” and you said, “Yes, it is what it is.” Presumably you’d have this conversation in an assisted living home with a demented loved one attempting to categorize an ice cream cone.

When you write “It is what it is” as a mathematical algorithm it looks like this:

it = it

In logic, this is called the law of identity, which states that an object is the same as itself. “A is A” is a tautology. Here are some more:

1 = 1

pineapple = pineapple

J = J

☺ = ☺

poop = poop

X = X

Those are analytical facts, verified by their consistency within the rules of a symbol system. But they’re also stupid and irrelevant. They’re true under all possible circumstances, and they demand little of the world for their truth. You don’t need evidence to back up the claim “Poop is what poop is.”

Here’s another tautology:

Formula_Ryan

Seems logical, right? I don’t know, I’m not a logician.

What concerns me are rhetorical tautologies such as:

“I am what I am.” ~ God talking to Moses

“I yam what I yam.” ~ Popeye talking to Olive Oyl

“Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.” ~ Gertrude Stein

“A horse is a horse, of course, of course.” ~ the Mr. Ed theme song

“It is what it is what it is what it is what it is what it is what it is.” ~ this essay

It is it. A is A. But redundancies are redundant, aren’t they? Be succinct. Next time your umbrella breaks, or your toilet gets clogged, or your house burns down, just shrug and say “It’s.”

That’s obnoxious advice, I know. Defeatism gets us nowhere. Life is hard, but that’s no excuse to spout meaningless clichés. There are so many fantastic adjectives and nouns and verbs out there, humming in a deep pocket of your brain. Use your words. Don’t just say “It is what it is.” We already know that.

Wittgenstein said philosophy is the headache you get from banging your head up against the limits of language. When I came across that line I decided I was done studying philosophy. Years later, my head is still hurting. Philosophy is dangerous.

Whatever.

It’s.

——–
Ethan Ryan

Greedy Restaurants and Hidden Charges

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I went to a favorite local restaurant (Hugo’s Restaurant in Valley Village) earlier this month for brunch and was stunned by what I saw on the payment tablet and on my receipt. Things had already gone wonky because I had ordered a sparkling wine split ($12), but a server brought a carafe of orange juice for a mimosa. I had not ordered a mimosa ($15), so I did not touch the orange juice. The server also brought my friend orange juice for a mimosa, but she had ordered a hibiscus. So we had to contact our main server and ask for the correct type of juice.

Of course the restaurant charged me the 3 extra dollars for the mimosa I didn’t order, so I told the server that the charge needed to be adjusted. Nowhere on the bill did it say anything about any hidden surcharges. Then the server returned with the tablet so she could run my card. The three choices on the tablet screen for tip were 20%, 22%, and 25%. The highlighted, default tip amount was 22%. That already upset me.

Don’t get me wrong, I consistently tip at least 20%, but I didn’t like how tricky and presumptive the restaurant was. Most restaurants have suggested tip percentages of 15%, 18% and 20%. For them to have 22% as the default is sneaky and wrong. In fact, because I was upset about that, I left 20%, not 22% and certainly not 25%, on principle.

Then I got my printed receipt and noticed that the restaurant had charged a 3% surcharge for back of room staff. This was added to the total amount which meant that the tip I left was reflective of the entire bill which included that 3% surcharge. On the bottom of the receipt I saw a note that a patron can have the 3% surcharge removed by letting the restaurant know, but I had ALREADY BEEN CHARGED. I doubt anyone actually complains and gets that surcharge removed. Another greedy win for the restaurant.

Lastly, the receipt had suggested ADDITIONAL tip amounts of 2% to 7%.

I’m not sure I want to frequent this restaurant in the future now.

Foot Fetishes

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https://www.livescience.com/33525-foot-fetishes-toe-suck-fairy.html

Copyright: eyescompany

What drives someone to develop a foot fetish? There have been many scientific hypotheses regarding this bizarre phenomenon, and one in particular actually makes a lot of sense. But let’s first look at the definition of podophilia, or foot fetishism. An individual with a foot fetish gains significant sexual pleasure from gazing at feet or shoes, and goes so far as to touch, kiss, and interact in other unmentionable ways with someone’s feet, provided the person whose feet are being worshipped is amenable to such transgressions.

It turns out that of all non-genital body parts, feet win the prize for being the most fetishized. This curious predilection which some people possess has prompted psychiatrists and medical researchers to investigate the underlying reasons. Perhaps the most fascinating theory behind foot fetishism comes from Dr. Vilanayar Ramachandran, a neuroscientist at University of California, San Diego. While studying the mechanisms behind phantom limb syndrome (a condition in which amputees still experience sensations in their missing limbs), he found that some amputees actually began to derive sexual pleasure in their missing feet. This likely stems from the fact that the brain areas associated with genitalia and feet are adjacent to each other on the brain’s body map (also known as a homunculus). Basically, some cross-wiring between the regions could be occurring in individuals who are not amputees. So it isn’t too far-fetched for someone to derive some sense of sexual pleasure from caressing someone’s feet or sucking on a toe or two.

Chaweng Noi Beach

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Copyright: bloodua

Thailand is one of only three countries which I have visited more than once, and I will always carry a fondness for its culture, its food, and its incredibly gracious people. I visited Thailand a second time in September of 2022, and ended up staying in the same regions as I had in 2018: Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, and Bangkok. While on Koh Samui, I had a strong desire to go to the beach, but my cousin and I had only three days to fully explore the island, so I wasn’t sure if we could squeeze in a beach day. In addition, there was a bit of rain which, pun intended, put a damper on our beach plans for the first two days.

Then on our third and final full day on Samui, the weather cleared up, and we decided to spend the day at Chaweng Noi Beach, the beach which was a stone’s throw from the resort at which we were staying. We ended up ordering lunch right on the beach, and also managed to polish off a couple of bottles of wine over the course of several hours. When we felt ourselves overheating, we decided to go into the Gulf of Thailand’s waters, and were rewarded with crystal clear water which was the temperature of a perfect bath. We had also discovered that some previous hotel patrons had left two pool floats there for other patrons to use, so we grabbed them and went back into the water, atop which we floated for a good hour or more.

Whenever I return to Thailand, and specifically find myself on Koh Samui, I plan to visit Chaweng Noi Beach to experience the same perfect beach day that I had been so fortunate to have experienced in 2022.

My Final Night In Porto

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A nice sunset shot from my final evening in Porto, Portugal

During the spring of 2022, I traveled to Spain and Portugal on a bold solo trip which had its share of frustrations and glitches, but I was very proud of myself for enduring all the problems. Since I speak a decent amount of Spanish, Spain presented no language issues for me, but it was an entirely different story when I was in Portugal, because I only know a few Portuguese words. Nevertheless, I was bound and determined to enjoy my stay in Vila Nova de Gaia and Porto.

I stayed at a lovely AirBnB in Vila Nova de Gaia which had a beautiful view of the Douro River and the town of Porto across the river. For four days straight, I would explore the wine caves on Vila Nova de Gaia (VNdG) side, walk all over VNdG and Porto, visit the grocery store to get authentic Portuguese food items, and dine in various restaurants in VNdG. I was completely free to do whatever struck my fancy, and I loved the entire experience so much that it was hard to leave and move on to Lisbon, which I didn’t enjoy nearly as much.

On my final night in VNdG, I decided to stay out as late as possible so that I could absorb as much of the sensory stimuli as I could. That final night turned out to be extraordinary, punctuated by a fantastic meal at a riverside restaurant, some lovely vinho verde, and fun conversations with other travelers. The sun began to set around 8:20, which was incredibly late for that time of the year. Even after the sun had completely set around 8:50 pm, the sky was a very vivid cobalt blue.

Another beautiful image from that magical night…

Live music was playing at a couple of restaurants, the river water was glistening, the crisp air was refreshing, and my heart felt so full while taking it all in. That night, I honestly fell in love with VNdG and Porto, and resolved to visit again. At some point, I will definitely return to VNdG and Porto, hopefully with a romantic interest in tow, because the area is so replete with romantic energy.

One more image from one of my favorite evenings of my life…

If you are looking for an absolutely gorgeous place to visit which has plenty of fresh seafood, great wines, and interesting culture, consider visiting VNdG and Porto.

Mornings in Maldives

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Anyone who loves gorgeous beach destinations should put the Maldives on their list of must-visit island paradises, because it will not disappoint. A beach lover myself, I had spent decades fantasizing about traveling to the Maldives before making that dream come to fruition in 2018. I was fortunate to have found an excellent package deal for travel to Nalaguraidoo, also known as Sun Island, and ended up spending 6 days and 5 nights surrounded by some of the most captivating azure waters and white coral sand beaches I had ever seen in my life.

Before I dive into the morning experiences I had on Nalaguraidoo, I will mention two negative aspects regarding the Maldives, the first being that making the trek to that part of the world is abysmally lengthy. Between the three planes, the bus, and the speedboat we were transported on, the total travel time (mind you, this does NOT include the time spent on layovers, which added another 14 hours) was almost 24 hours. By the time we were on that final speedboat ride which took us to Nalaguraidoo, we couldn’t remember what day it was, and the fact that it was almost pitch black while on that boat didn’t help with our awareness of time.

The other negative feature of the Maldives was that there was absolutely no local culture to be found. The island was teeming with tourists, mostly from England, Germany, and Australia. The workers on the island were from neighboring India and Sri Lanka, and they were all lovely people, but none were Maldivian.

Despite those negatives, the time I spent on Nalaguraidoo was absolutely magical. I stayed in a villa which was right near the water, and upon exiting my villa, I would be rewarded with the following view:

The climate was almost egregiously humid and hot, but I could always very easily submerge myself in the clean water of the Indian Ocean, which was replete with nurse sharks and a dazzling assortment of different species of fish. The temperature of the water was about the same as our body temperature, incredibly inviting and relaxing. The fact that I could spend five mornings of my life waking up to such conditions was absolutely wonderful.

Budapest 7 pm

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I traveled to Budapest, Hungary in September 2014 and spent a week taking in the sights, struggling with the Hungarian language, and consuming Hungarian cuisine. I was very fortunate to have connected with two photographers in Budapest shortly before I left the U.S., and I was able to schedule photo shoots with both. The first photographer was extremely hospitable and took me for a city tour of Budapest the day before our planned shoot. The next day, I got even more of a tour of the city since the photographer and his girlfriend were so enthusiastic about showing me certain parts of the city.

About midway through my stay in Budapest, I shot for an entire day with the second photographer, and though I became a bit fatigued after traveling and shooting all over Pest side, I looked forward to shooting on Buda side as well. We didn’t reach Buda side until early evening, and since the temperature was starting to drop, I quickly changed into my final look for the last set of the day, a black minidress with black heels. The photographer set up in such a way that Hungarian Parliament would be in the background of each image in the set. If you haven’t seen the Hungarian Parliament building, it is an architectural marvel, and it is especially dazzling at night because the entire building is illuminated.

The photographer asked me to stand near the Danube River so that he could check exposure and framing, so I walked over to the designated spot. As soon as I did so, a very fine rain mist started falling, and though I was in a sleeveless minidress, the drizzle and the air felt refreshing. We began shooting, and the church which the photographer was standing in front of chimed 7 times, marking the 7 o’clock hour. I will never forget the church chimes, the light rain, the crisp air, and the glow of the illuminated Hungarian Parliament building. It was a beautiful, magical moment.

Swimming With Dolphins

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Copyright: balinature

Even though I consider Hawaii my second home, I have always been most familiar with Oahu, since my grandparents had settled there from Japan and raised a large family. Some of my relatives migrated to the Big Island, Kauai, and Molokai, so I ended up visiting those islands as well. The one island which I was extremely curious about was Maui, but since none of my relatives had moved to that island, I never had a reason to visit.

Then in June of 2007, the guy I had been seeing for close to a year and I vacationed on Maui for a little over a week, and in that small period of time, I fell in love with the island. The ocean was clean and warm, the local restaurants served incredible food, the scenery was beautiful, and we enjoyed daily rainbows over the rental property we booked. Every day on Maui was magical and held new discoveries, such as the afternoon when we decided to buy some pineapple from a roadside vendor and were rewarded with the sweetest, most delicious pineapple I had ever tasted.

On one particular day we jumped into our rental car and decided to explore the south border of the island. We found ourselves in Kihei, a casual, laid-back beachfront town with many turnoff points which gave us access to the beach. We settled on a small cove and set up our towels and snack foods for a nice afternoon, and because it was a small, hidden area, there was no one else on that stretch of beach with us. After we had been there for a couple of hours, my boyfriend remarked, “Hey! I saw a dorsal fin out there! I wonder if that’s a shark or a dolphin?” I told him I wasn’t about to swim out to the spot where he spotted the fin, and the next moment, he was rushing into the water so that he could determine what sea creature he had seen,

As soon as Dameon swam out to the area where he saw the fin, he dove underwater and I didn’t see him for close to a minute. He then popped his head up and yelled, “Get your ass in here, and bring the underwater camera! There’s a bunch of dolphins out here!” I grabbed the underwater camera, making sure the strap was secure around my wrist, and jumped into the water. Once I reached Dameon, he told me to go underwater and check out our new buddies. We were in the midst of a pod of dolphins, about 14 or 15 of them, including a couple of youngsters. Two of the large adult males kept bumping up against me and pushing me around in the water.

We ended up swimming with the dolphins for close to 10 minutes, alternately bobbing on the surface and diving down so that we could swim along these playful creatures. Dameon made sure to take numerous shots of the dolphins, which we developed that same day. We began to get tired of swimming, since we were relatively far out and in deep water, so we swam back to shore. Within a few minutes, the dolphins headed southeast, but not before jumping out of the water numerous times as if to say, thanks guys, we had fun!

How to Improve Your Overall Wellness When You’re Uber-Busy: Tips for Women Creators

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Image via Pexels

As a woman creator, it’s easy to get bogged down by the daily grind. We’re constantly juggling work, family, and social obligations, and it can be tough to find time for ourselves. However, it’s essential to remember that our health should always be a priority. Today, Dr. Stacey Naito shares some tips on how to overcome the hustle and bustle and boost your overall wellness!

(Post written by Julia Merrill of Befriendyourdoc.org
julia@befriendyourdoc.org)

Eat Nutritiously

One of the best ways to improve your overall wellness is to focus on healthy eating. Medical News Today points out that eating nutritious foods will give you more energy and help you keep your mental focus sharp. You don’t have to completely overhaul your diet overnight; just try to make small changes, like substituting fruits and vegetables for processed snacks. You’ll be surprised at how much difference it can make in your overall health.

Move Your Body

Exercise is also crucial for maintaining your health, and it’s essential to get at least 30 minutes of movement every day. If you’re short on time, try breaking up your exercise into shorter 10-minute increments throughout the day. Healthline notes that taking a brisk walk or going for a light jog are excellent options to help relieve stress and improve your overall fitness level.

Change Careers

Sometimes, the best way to improve our wellness is to simplify our lives by eliminating things that cause us stress. If your job is causing you more anxiety than enjoyment, it may be time to start looking for something new.

Fortunately, plenty of online resources can help you create a stellar resume and find the perfect career opportunity. For example, you can use a free resume template and customize it to showcase your science fiction/fantasy work in a professional light. You can also use a free or low-cost website builder to create a stellar portfolio.

If you feel like you could use an educational upgrade before you reenter the business world, you could always go back to school and earn a bachelor’s degree in business. That will definitely open doors and give you a massive advantage over the competition. Also, thanks to the flexibility of online learning platforms, you can proceed at your own pace, from the comfort of your home, without having to take too much time off.

Start a Company

Starting a business can also be a great way to improve your overall health and well-being. When you’re your own boss, you have the flexibility to design a work schedule that works for you. You can also take advantage of tax breaks and other benefits of owning your own business. Here are a few tips for launching a company out of your creative passion:

  • Find a niche: When starting a business, it’s essential to find a niche market. This will help you focus your marketing efforts and connect with potential customers who are interested in what you have to offer.
  • Do your research: Before starting any business, it’s important to do your research and make sure you have a solid plan in place. This includes everything from your business model to your target market.
  • Select a legal structure: One of the first decisions you’ll need to make when starting a business is selecting a legal structure. This will determine things like how you file your taxes and how much liability protection you have. Many entrepreneurs form an LLC because of the liability protection and tax flexibility. Keep in mind that you can establish an LLC through an online service, but you’ll want to research which formation service is the best fit for you.
  • Get insured: Insurance is another important consideration when starting a business. Make sure you have the proper coverage in place to protect yourself and your business from potential.
  • Create a marketing plan: Once you have your niche and business plan in place, it’s time to start marketing your company. There are many ways to market your business, including online advertising, social media, and traditional methods like print or television ads.

Conclusion

Making small changes in your daily routine can have a big impact on your overall health and well-being. Remember to focus on healthy eating, exercise, and reducing stressors in your life. If you’re not happy with your current career situation, don’t be afraid to make a change. And if you’ve ever thought about starting your own business, now may be the perfect time to take the plunge!
Dr. Stacey Naito is an artist, as well as a board-certified family practice physician. Scroll down to leave a reply!

The Day I Became A Doctor

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Despite the fact that I had wanted to become a doctor from the time I was eight years old, the idea of going through grueling training intimidated me, so I kept putting off that goal. It was actually quite rewarding and fulfilling for me to zigzag through a number of different jobs (the most prominent were personal trainer, personal assistant to a famous stand-up comic, and optometric technician) after I graduated from college. Because I allowed myself some wiggle room, I finally came full circle and realized that the most fulfilling career choice for me would be in medicine. After prepping, taking the MCAT, and applying to medical school, I was accepted and spent the next four years studying the discipline which had attracted me so much as a child.

The day of my graduation from medical school was quite special, partly because my mother was beaming from ear to ear, my then-husband was excited for me, and my father actually made a point of attending the event. I will never forget my mom placing the Kelly green and white graduation hood (the color combo for medicine) over my head and across my back, signifying my graduation from medical school, It was indeed one of the most meaningful and special moments in my entire life.