Many of your probably don’t know that I was married once. Back when I was about to start my second year of medical school, I met and was charmed by a guy who was about to start his first year of medical school at the same institution. He signed up to be one of my subjects for a study I was conducting on lumbar somatic dysfunction (I later found out that the main reason why he signed up was because he thought I was hot).
After I gathered scientific data from the portion of the study which involved him, he began asking me questions. Which mnemonic guides were the best for gross anatomy? Which professors were my favorite? Where did I typically study for exams? He then went in for the kill, taking me by surprise by asking me out. I liked him, and noticed he was different in a way that really grabbed my interest, so I said yes.
To make a long story short, that date progressed into a romance which was so intense that we were married a year later. In general, I loved being married, and though we had our difficulties, we made our marriage work for a while. Then it stopped working, and after three years, I asked for a divorce.
After the initial emotional anguish subsided, my husband and I spent close to a year trying to determine if divorce was the best option. Inevitably, we both agreed that being apart was actually much better for us both. Since we were both rather rational about our impending divorce, and retained a level of mutual respect which is quite rare among couples at the demise of their marriage, we agreed that we could probably bypass legal counsel and file the paperwork ourselves. I ended up purchasing a book called, How To Do Your Own Divorce In California, by Ed Sherman, and printed off the legal forms which were included on the CD in the back of the book.
I filed the initial paperwork and braced myself for the paper storm to follow. It was a bit of a hassle to complete all of the forms myself, but I saved a ton on legal fees. The total amount which I spent on the book and all the filings came to under $300, and I was happy to pay it. My husband and I were also able to complete the Marital Settlement Agreement without much difficulty, and we were able to reach a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Six months and one day from the day I filed, I received the final Divorce Decree in the mail. My divorce was honestly easier than some breakups in my life. And to this day, my ex-husband and I are on good terms. He remarried in November of last year (thirteen years after our divorce was finalized), and I can honestly say that I truly wish the best for him and his bride.
In case you are in the unfortunate predicament of a looming divorce, but feel confident that you and your estranged spouse can divorce without any drama or irrational behavior, you may want to consider the easy divorce route we took. The newest version of the book I used is now 20 bucks on Amazon. However, I am by no means endorsing this route, so you should explore other options if need be. If you are facing an ugly battle, you should definitely seek top notch legal counsel to aid you in the divorce process.