My Oldest Patient

Shortly after I completed my residency training in family medicine in 2004, I worked briefly for a company which offered mobile physician home visits. Though I soon realized that driving to patients wasn’t my thing, I definitely met some very interesting people during that time.

My favorite and most memorable patient from my mobile medicine days was an elderly woman, aged 105. During my hospital days, I had seen and treated a number of centenarians, but this woman was the oldest. I was called upon to visit this woman’s home (I’ll call her Mary) to perform a blood pressure check and manage her hypertension. She lived in a charming duplex which was erected circa 1905. I knocked on the door and when the door opened, a friendly middle-aged man greeted me and introduced me as Mary’s caregiver (let’s name him Tim).

The interior of the duplex was a time capsule. I honestly felt like I had stepped into the 1920’s, because everything in the place was from that era: lamps, paintings, coffee cups, pens, furniture, curtains, pillows, etc. As my eyes scanned the room, I saw Mary sitting in a large chair with a walker in front of her. Mary’s face certainly was old and her body was frail, but she possessed fire in her eyes and a sassy attitude to match. I thought of how this woman, born in 1899, was witness to three different centuries, as a result of the year she was born as well as the longevity which extended her time on planet Earth far beyond that of the average person.

Mary smiled at me and motioned for me to come over.
MARY: “Well you’re a pretty young lady…what’s your name?”
ME: “Hello Mary, I’m Dr. Naito.”
MARY: “DOCTOR??? DOCTOR??? Tim, what have you tricked me into? Why do we have a doctor here?” Mary’s brow was furrowed.
TIM: “Well Mary, since you refused to take your blood pressure medicine, and since your blood pressure reading was very high today, I had to call the mobile doctor service to come see you. Now be nice to the doctor, will you please?”

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At this point I asked Mary if I could take her blood pressure again, and she consented. I took her blood pressure reading: 175/95. I began to ask Mary questions: was she in pain anywhere, did she have a headache, was she dizzy, was she nauseous, was her heart racing, was her vision blurry? I took her pulse: 78 and steady. Mary had no complaints. I then conducted a physical exam on her, which was completely normal. I then asked Mary if she would please take her blood pressure medication immediately, to which she also consented. Once Mary took the medication, I informed her that we would wait about 30 minutes to assess her response to it. She responded by saying, “Well I like you, young doctor! We’re going to have a nice chat!”

The next 30 minutes were incredibly fascinating and funny as Mary settled into a stream of vignettes about her life, focusing mostly on her days as a true flapper, wild and carefree, wearing short dresses, “necking” with handsome young men, hanging out in jazz clubs, and being a general troublemaker. One of those young men managed to steal her heart, and they married in 1922. She spoke about how she became an actress quite by accident when her husband, who was a Hollywood film producer, began to cast her in his films. Mary and her husband were more interested in traveling the world and investing their money than buying an expensive home, so they lived in their modest duplex from 1922 until his death almost 60 years later, and Mary refused to move into an assisted living facility when she became an invalid. It was the same duplex I was visiting that day.

After thirty minutes of hearing the most engaging stories about Mary’s life, I didn’t want to interrupt her. But I was working, after all, so I told her I needed to re-take her blood pressure. This time it was 138/72 and Mary was still completely asymptomatic. I told Mary that it was time for me to go and began gathering my supplies.
MARY: “Oh no you don’t! You’re going to drink a martini with me. It’s my nightly ritual. Been doing it since I was 20 years old.”
ME: “Every night since 20?”
MARY: “Yes indeed. It’s kept me sane all these years, and I enjoy it.”
ME: “But I need to drive over the hill, and it’s rush hour.”
MARY: “Oh please! Now stop complaining and just sit. Tim, make my usual times two.”

After several minutes Tim emerged from the kitchen with two double gin martinis. I don’t like gin, but I wasn’t about to complain or refuse to drink the martini. Mary and I (actually, she talked and I listened) continued to talk for another 30 minutes while sipping on our cocktails. The martini was STRONG but well made, so I continued sipping. Mary polished off her entire martini like the martini drinking expert she was, and motioned to me when she took her last sip. “Well, dear? You’ve got some left in there.” I had to finish the last couple of sips of my martini while Mary watched me, making sure I did so. Once I did, she smiled warmly. “That’s my girl!”, she beamed.

I gathered my belongings and said goodbye to her, and when she motioned for a hug, I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me and patted my back with her hand.

I never saw her after that.

The Social Media T and A Show

Social media is pretty much here to stay, as evidenced by the worldwide participation which has emerged. Truth be told, it can be fantastic way to build a brand and to advertise products and services. However, social media has also provided very easy access to smut and porn of all degrees (I’m guessing at the extent here, since I have no idea how far that river extends). My belief is that as long as no one is getting hurt or bullied, all is fair and that the more salacious profiles should be able to do their thing. Seriously, if that’s your thing, then rock on.

However, this post is about the so-called “above board” profiles whose admins are young fitness women and men desperate to increase their following by whatever means they can. Here’s my contention: if you are truly a FITNESS person, the occasional selfie which features your ample bosom or buttocks seems reasonable, but if you are littering your Snapchat or Instagram account with images of your big fake twins (either pectoral or down south) and proclaiming that you are just trying to spread the love, you’re not fooling anyone. Guys are surely sending their “love”, and certainly not in a proper or flattering way. Why would you even take pride in growing numbers of followers if you know that you are only building an online spank bank for creeps?

I understand that some men are so creepy that they’ll get off on images of models in bras from a 1954 Sears catalog, but if you are posting pics of yourself bending over bare-assed, you are truly asking for attention from the least savory members of society. And if that’s the case, shame on you. The only value you have when you consistently post scandalous images of your barely-clothed body is as a hot piece of ass, and certainly not someone with any authority or intellectual merit, even if you hold three doctorates and have won a bunch of academic awards.

I’m not saying you can’t be sexy, but there is a lot to be said for leaving something to the imagination. If you are revealing any part of yourself which might only otherwise be revealed behind closed doors to the object of your lust, you’d better think twice about what kind of riff-raff such an image will attract.

A good filter to use when you are thinking of posting an image on social media is to ask yourself, “Would I be okay with my dad/mom/daughter/son/brother/sister/grandpa/grandma seeing this image?” Try not to rationalize the response, but really pay attention to what the image conveys, as well as what kind of audience it will draw in. Another good filter is to ask yourself, “Will I be proud or embarrassed about this image in 5/10/1/20/25/30 years?”

In summary, if you are a fitness person with a social media profile which features a constant display of body parts and crevices which should only be seen by your lover, and which are not in any way related to the porn industry, you might as well switch industries. That is, unless you want to be recognized for something other than your lady humps or your baby-maker!

Proud To Be A MitoXcell Ambassador!

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you have probably seen my posts about MitoXcell products. I am particularly fond of the original MitoXcell blend which I have every day, and which I swear by for peak performance and recovery as well as optimal cellular health.

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Stacey Naito

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There’s Still Musical Talent Out There…GREAT Love Song

Don’t go thinking that I am a sappy, hopeless romantic, but I do appreciate a well-written, soulful love song. Amy Wadge and Ed Sheeran penned one of the loveliest songs of all time, and in the new millenium to boot. I’m sharing the official video for the song, as well as the lyrics. Though I find some of the dance moves a bit overtly sexual and somewhat inappropriate for the lyrics which expound a pure love, I also regard the video as pretty romantic since it is filmed in a ballroom reminiscent of the one featured in “Beauty and the Beast”, which remains one of my favorite all-time films.

Ed Sheeran “Thinking Out Loud”

When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re seventy
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty three
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me – I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way (mmm)
I know you will still love me the same
‘Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it’s evergreen
And, baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory
I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
Well, I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand
That, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are (oh ohh)
La la la la la la la la loud
So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Songwriters: AMY WADGE, ED SHEERAN
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, THE ROYALTY NETWORK INC.

This Man Hates Yoga Pants For Sure…

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I would LOVE to hear what other people think of women over the age of 20 wearing yoga pants after finding out about this Rhode Island man’s rant. The town of Barrington has a yoga pant parade planned as a huge slap in the face to this narrow-minded individual, and to that, I say BRAVO!

Click on the link below to read more about the backlash in the community following Alan Sorrentino’s letter:

‘Yoga pants parade’ planned after man’s letter to the editor

Designer Protein 20% Off Sale On Bodybuilding.com!

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Go to http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/designer-protein.htm and make sure to enter the following discount code:

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The code is good for a 20% off all Designer Protein and will be effective from today through October 31st.

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Musings From A Happy Half-Centurian

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Now that I have been in the 50 zone for a few months, I can honestly say that I actually like it! Here are a few reasons why I am completely comfortable with being 50 years old…

* I still get carded. In fact, I have been asked for ID when purchasing alcohol more frequently now than a year ago. And it’s not because I am purchasing booze with more frequency either. I have even gotten carded while with younger friends who did NOT get carded. It’s bizarre and very cool.

* I can still rock an outfit and not only be a head-turner, but a neck-BREAKER. Gotta have goals!

* I can take care of myself and don’t panic if I am faced with a challenge. However, I am completely grateful when someone comes to my aid or shows concern for my welfare. I am so blessed to have wonderful, true friends who have my back as much as I have theirs!

* I can usually discern very quickly which opportunities and situations are legit and which ones are a waste of my time. With age comes wisdom, and my gut instinct has proven consistently to be a foolproof guardian.

* I don’t wait for things to happen…I MAKE them happen. When I was younger, I had a tendency to put more faith in others coming through for me. Over the past few years, I have adopted the attitude that I can only depend on myself, so I have pushed myself to become a solo mover and shaker. It’s pretty tough navigating alone, but at least I trust the person at the helm!

* I trust that time will always makes things unfold organically. This makes struggling through difficult times much more manageable. I know that situations will always come to a resolution eventually. Whenever I have any doubt, I think of what my grandmother used to tell my mom and her siblings when times were rough: “Don’t worry, after bad comes good.” What a wise woman.

* I no longer care if someone has a problem with me sporting a miniskirt, a bikini, or a curve-hugging dress. My thought is, I still have it, and I have every intention of flaunting it. Sorry if that offends some people, but the folks who have a problem with such attire can’t take away my resolve to celebrate what I have worked so hard to maintain.

* I realize that life isn’t over just because I hit a certain chronological marker. If anything, I am just getting started!

“I’m Bloated!” – Cures For Premenstrual Bloating (REPOST)

belly bloatMany women suffer from premenstrual bloating, but most don’t know that there are specific foods and supplements which can treat it. Since many women experience bloating right before that special time of the month, I am listing the supplements and foods which I recommend to ease the water retention which can occur right before your period.

SUPPLEMENENTS:

1. Dandelion root – Try 3 capsules, three times daily for 3 to 4 days before your period to create a diuretic effect in your body.
2. Magnesium 400 mg – Take this one to two times daily. If you get diarrhea, back down to one 400 mg dose towards bedtime.
3. Gamma linoleic acid 400 mg – one tablet daily.
4. Vitamin C 1,000 mg – Take one capsule two times per day.
5. Vitamin B6 150 mg – Take one capsule daily.

FOODS:

1. bananas
2. cranberry juice or extract
3. raisins
4. asparagus

If your schedule is regular and you frequently suffer from water retention before your period, you can incorporate the supplements and foods listed above a few days before you expect your period.