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Stacking The Deck

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“So…what do you DO?”

This question is incredibly annoying to me, and I cringe every time I hear it. I resent the fact that many people are so quick to assess someone on the basis of what they “do” for a living, as if there are no other dimensions which should be taken into account.

I completely resent the demand to pick one career that defines me. To add insult to injury, when people find out that I am a medical doctor, they struggle with the stereotype of what they expect doctors to be like, in other words, very conservative in dress and demeanor, and without any flavor or personality. Well, I’ve got news for you. I will NEVER be a typical doctor. And please don’t doubt my credentials or schooling. I am NOT a nurse (not that there is anything wrong with this highly respected profession). I am a fully licensed and board certified physician.

However, I do not consider myself to be ONLY one thing, “only” a physician. Yes, I am a board certified physician. But I am also a degreed (Bachelor’s) fitness professional, professional athlete (IFBB Pro), certified nutrition coach, writer, model, brand ambassador and contest prep coach. If that’s too much for one to process, too bad. Because I am ALL of those things, and then some. I am just as much about fitness, bodybuilding and wellness as I am about medicine, and I shouldn’t have to choose one over the others. I am damned proud of what I have accomplished in bodybuilding, especially because I was in my forties when I took things to the next level, not when I was a young whipper-snapper, and I was already established in my medical career. I will not apologize to people who are confused by the sampler plate philosophy by which I live and who don’t believe that it’s possible to be more than one thing. Truth is, I live as what Marci Alboher describes in her book One Person Multiple Careers as a Slash, and I am proud of it. I know it’s unusual, but why is that so hard for people to grasp? I mean, here I am, doing all that I do, switching gears constantly, and sending a message to the world that no one should have to be one-dimensional and boring.

I am honest. I have sass, and I speak my mind. I will NOT hide parts of myself which some overly judgmental people may have a problem with. I am NOT going to apologize for having a sense of humor, for using cuss words here and there (though I don’t use them while seeing patients). I am not going to paint a false picture of who I am. If you don’t like what I am doing, no worries. Move on.

Here’s a message to you if you find that you are someone who is compromising your own vision, dreams, or goals, because you perceive a need to choose one thing to define you. Perhaps you need to re-examine why you are allowing that to occur. If you subscribe to a no limits philosophy, then you would never even consider pulling the reins back. I will always encourage driven people to go for whatever they want, and if it doesn’t fit in with the conventions of one of their chosen careers or hobbies, even better. Break stereotypes and show people what you are made of! Don’t hide all the facets which make you who you are!

How To Visualize Your Body Transformation Goal

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Body B&AWhenever I do initial consultations with weight management patients I make sure to ask them what their ultimate weight loss goals are.  Invariably my patients will mention a friend or relative who has the physique they desire, or they will mention a time in their lives at which they considered their own bodies to be ideal for them.  At the end of the evaluation, I instruct my patients to find at least one picture of that ideal body and post it in a prominent place, either on a desk, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, or car dashboard.  The whole point is to create a visual representation of the patient’s goal so that it becomes more tangible over time.

Another tip which I give to weight management patients is to take weekly progress pics so that they can monitor the subtle changes in their bodies over an interval period of time.  What they might not see from week to week can be very dramatic when they compare their baseline photos to photos taken many weeks or months later.  Over time it becomes easier to take these progress pictures.  Trust me, I used to do it regularly myself when I was competing. These days, though, I have hit a certain rhythm in which I stay at a specific set point.

Lori HarderThe tips I have just mentioned also work EXTREMELY well for people in the midst of contest prep.  I typically advise contest prep clients to take weekly progress pictures, because they provide a great way to monitor subtle changes week by week, as well as yield information which I can use in order to make small changes in a prep plan.  

When I first began competing in 2009, I quite randomly picked a couple of images of female competitors whose physiques I really admired, printed them, and placed them on my bathroom mirror.  I saw these images daily, and was able to visualize my goal on a consistent basis.  I did not remove these images from my mirror until I moved in October of 2012, and when I did so, I moved the images to bulletin boards in our den.

What is amazing now is that I have images of myself right next to the images of the ladies I had so admired, and you know what?  I achieved my goal of attaining IFBB Pro Status and the best physique of my life, at the ripe age of 47.    These days, I no longer look at the images of these ladies as something to aspire to, but instead look at them as peers.

In summary, there are two things you can do to visualize your goal:

1. FIND AN IMAGE OF THE BODY YOU WANT AND POST IT IN A PROMINENT PLACE.

2. TAKE WEEKLY PROGRESS PICTURES OF YOURSELF.

Visualize and make your goal materialize!

I Hate Taking Selfies

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IMAG0894

Both of my parents used to put me in front of cameras all the time, which largely explains why I am so comfortable in front of them. I am very much at ease before a still camera, and am usually fine in front of a moving one, even if I have to improvise or read cold. I have never really shied away from the camera lens like some people tend to do, and am usually happy to join in a group picture when asked to do so.

All bets are off when I have to take a selfie. I have stubbornly remained on the Android boat and refuse to cross over to the iPhone world, and as a result I have to deal with a camera which, quite frankly, sucks, especially when in selfie mode. I have an oval face, but my phone camera wants to make me look like I have a long, weird horse face! My phone camera is also completely incapable of capturing ideal lighting conditions. Since I want people to see me in my natural, everyday state, and am very reluctant to use filters on my social media posts, I realize that many of my social media posts which feature a selfie don’t exactly make me look my best.

As if that wasn’t enough to discourage me from taking selfies, I also don’t enjoy the process of looking at myself and trying to line up a picture. When someone else is photographing or filming me, I allow myself to relax and trust the person who is capturing my likeness. When I take selfies with my phone, I become easily and quickly bored with the activity. It’s not like me to spend massive amounts of time in front of a mirror, fussing and primping, so I certainly don’t enjoy spending additional time taking pictures of myself.

Here’s my M.O. for taking selfies: I think of a good setup for the shot, then I take between two and eight selfies. I know you selfie experts are probably horrified by the paltry amount of selfies I take, and are ready to tell me, “No wonder you don’t get good selfies!” I know that the most dedicated Instagram selfie takers will often take over a hundred versions of a selfie and sift through them to find the most flattering images, but I don’t have that kind of time!

I have spoken with branding people who say that it is worth taking time to snap the perfect selfie, but I have careers and a life outside of social media, and in that real world, time is money. If I don’t get my work done, I don’t get paid. And no one will have sympathy for me if I tell them I need a couple of hours each day to take the perfect batch of selfies. Since I also apply a five-minute face each day (concealer, brow pencil, eyeliner, mascara, blush, translucent powder and lipstick…NO foundation, bronzer, eyeshadow, lipgloss for my daily look!), I am not prepping for selfies all the time.

Who else out there hates taking selfies? IMAG0893

Social Media And The Random Butt Pic

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Don’t you love how social media platforms like Instagram pander to our urge to post images of ourselves for the world to see? It’s a veritable paradise for exhibitionists and voyeurs alike. Yes, I know that many of us use social media to share our interests, advertise products or services, or build our personal brands. But there are enough scandalous images which make it onto the news feed that I wonder what they are really trying to sell.

There are evenings when I will peruse the Explore page on Instagram. The vast majority of featured posts which show up on my phone are of cute animals, which is completely appropriate, since I am such a huge animal lover. However, I will often be in the process of scrolling down, when a random, bare-assed image shows up.

I’m not talking about images in which a woman is showing off her conditioned glutes in a sexy bikini or a snug pair of workout pants. I’m not even talking about a professional aesthetic nude shot which is tasteful. I am talking about a bare-assed, naked, in a slutty bent-over pose selfie. How does an image like that show off a woman’s gains at the gym? Something like that only shows that she has no self-respect, and is willing to show the world her goodies and contribute to an online spank bank. My reaction is always to shake my head in disgust, then keep scrolling down.

What blows my mind is that many of the people who are posting these images are fitness people who want to expand their following. I’ve got news for every single person who does this: you are only making yourself look like a slut! Sure, some sex-crazed jerks will click on your “look at my ASS!” pic, like it, and possibly follow you, but do you really want someone to follow you because he saw your bare bottom and wants to tap it? Those followers can even be downright dangerous if they are mentally unbalanced.

The queen of the slutty butt pics has got to be Kim Kardashian, whose bold butt photo blew up the internet in 2014:

Kim-Kardashian-Paper-Magazine-butt-November-2014

Do you really want to be known as a spectacle, someone who is only known for having a hot body or for being willing to bare all on a regular basis? A good filter to use when you are thinking of posting an image on social media is to ask yourself, “Would I be okay with my dad/mom/daughter/son/brother/sister/grandpa/grandma seeing this image?” Try not to rationalize the response, but really pay attention to what the image conveys, as well as what kind of audience it will draw in. Another good filter is to ask yourself, “Will I be proud or embarrassed about this image in 5/10/1/20/25/30 years?” Don’t forget that everything will follow you, whether you like it or not!

It’s MY Image And MY Branding

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I have been struggling to assemble various elements of my personal branding on my own, but this task has proven to be extremely challenging. One of the first things I worked on was a logo, but after seven months, I still have nothing to show for it. Part of the problem is that I only have ideas of what I want to convey, and I have to rely on the creative vision of a logo designer to interpret my ideas in a way that is cohesive with my brand. This project has dragged on and on, and I am now beginning to doubt whether I will have a logo before the end of the year. There are countless other things on my to-do list, such as compiling an email list, revamping my three websites, designing a newsletter template, etc. I don’t have the expertise, nor do I have the time to do all of these things on my own. So I have been sitting on these projects as well.

Another thing I was hoping to get into place was a public relations person to help me with my image and to increase my exposure. Here’s where I ran into another wall. I had a meeting recently with a very competent and talented PR person but as we continued to discuss my goals and my vision, I realized that there was a disconnect. This person went through my images online and explained why certain images fell outside the realm of certain goals I was trying to achieve. While I understood that some images were less conservative than what a typical physician would take, I also felt attacked and restrained. Part of what I love about being who I am right now is the fact that I AM atypical, that I am defying the odds, and that I am challenging stereotypes.
black tassel beach logo only 2
One thing this person told me was that I needed to consider what a certain television show producer would think of me if he saw how I portray myself on the internet. With all due respect, I don’t live my life for others, and I will NOT conform for the sake of being invited on someone else’s TV show. I have enjoyed my personal freedoms and feel that as long as I honor the boundaries of common decency, I am NOT going to start doing photo shoots in business suits. That is simply NOT me and I would be miserable if I was FORCED to do that. I will never be the kind of person who will fit in a neat little conservative box. Try doing that to me and I will rebel.

In an era where the more outlandish and crazy someone is on television, the more popular they are, why is it that I am expected to remain on the straight and narrow path, with the reins pulled tight against my expression and my personality? I honestly don’t want to EVER sell out and become what a TV network or what middle America expects me to be. Perhaps Dr. Oz’s popularity stems somewhat from his conservative vibe, but I can tell you that when it comes to image, I will never be a predictable female version of that guy. No way. Don’t expect me to wear scrubs on a national TV show or dress in conservative garb just to appease the viewers. I am an IFBB Bikini Pro and very proud of it. So what if I model swimwear and fitness apparel? So what if I like to look sexy? Since when is that a crime?

My plan is to keep doing what I am doing, remain true to myself, maintain my integrity and keep moving closer to my ultimate goals.

Keep It Classy

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I cannot understand why some young women resort to branding themselves by posting downright SLUTTY photos of themselves on social media channels. I have had disputes with people who have told me that posting those types of images is necessary if someone wants to build a huge following. What, pray tell, kind of following can one expect to build when the images which are posted regularly fall into the soft porn category? No one with a brain and staying power would ever seriously consider riding the wave of recognition primarily via bare-assed, here-I-am-in-my-underwear, bent over, come hither slut photos on social media channels on a consistent basis. Some girls will go even further and take selfies or professional shots which mimic the vantage point of a man doing certain unmentionable things to her. These women degrade themselves every single time they post these images, and they support the objectification of women which has kept the female gender from being taken completely seriously.

I am by no means saying that sexy photos aren’t acceptable. But it is definitely possible to be incredibly sexy without giving off that “I know you wanna do me” vibe. Young ladies who really want to have longevity in the fitness or modeling industry should post images which they won’t be embarrassed to show their children or grandchildren. I still don’t get why it has become so common for a hot woman (and even some men do this which irritates me too) to stand at her bathroom mirror in tiny panties and a bra (or sometimes just a forearm draped over naked breasts), strike a provocative pose, snap a selfie and post it for the world to see. I bet in five or ten years that most of these ladies will be struggling with the realization that they can’t take any of that back.

Please don’t think that I am a prude, because I am not. I also don’t have a problem with professional photos in lingerie. Heck, some lingerie is cut more generously than some bikinis, so I am not picking on the attire. It’s the combination of wardrobe selection (or lack thereof) with slutty, classless poses which has me taking issue. What can a red-blooded male do when he sees blatant tits-in-your-face pics with a facial expression that is usually only seen behind closed doors? It’s not the smartest thing to seduce hundreds or thousands of men that way, especially when you don’t know how many of those so-called admirers are mentally unstable. Keep in mind that with every social media post, you are building a foundation. Do you want to be known as the hot chick who always shows her goodies or as a strong and beautiful woman with substance?