Today I transition from being a 50 year old to being a 50-something. It’s such a strange reality for me to move past the half-century mark, despite the fact that my joints ache more, my skin is losing its firmness, and rogue gray hairs threaten to disrupt the mass of dark brown hair on my head. My mind and spirit are stuck in an early 30’s zone, so I am constantly in a strange disconnect between how I feel mentally and where my body is chronologically.
Since my 50th birthday last July, I have received promotional mail from AARP and Forest Lawn Mortuary, which is extremely disconcerting. In valiant protest, I have increased my involvement in aerial arts, dabbled in other pursuits like fencing, and have maintained a 5 to 6 day weightlifting schedule each week.
To be honest, turning 50 caused me to fret a bit about my overall health, so I decided to obtain a full medical workup, including bloodwork, MRI’s of my injured left shoulder and neck, a mammogram and colonoscopy.
These were the results:
- Bloodwork results were completely normal, and as always, my HDL was over 70 and my LDL was under 100.
- MRI of my left shoulder revealed moderate bursitis, widespread inflammation, severe biceps tendinitis, and widespread tendinopathy. The good news is that my shoulder issues don’t warrant surgical intervention.
- MRI of my cervical spine revealed dessication of multiple intervertebral discs and osteophytes at multiple levels. Basically, my neck reveals that I am a dried up old bitch.
- Screening mammogram revealed a suspicious 5mm mass on my right breast, which was further evaluated with more views. It turned out to be a small cyst.
- The colonoscopy prep was definitely not enjoyable, but my days of water loading for contests made drinking the vile electolyte prep solution (bastards gave me the unflavored version…blech) a bit more tolerable. Aside from a small polyp, my colonoscopy was unremarkable.
Evidently, my body is doing a pretty good job of fending off aging. With a clean bill of health, I will continue to engage in my physical pursuits, eat clean food, meditate daily, and be thankful.