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I don’t want children — stop telling me I’ll change my mind | Christen Reighter

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I absolutely love this TED Talk by Christen Reighter, who talks about the resistance she met with when attempting to obtain approval for tubal ligation. There are two statements in particular which struck me:

“I’ve always believed that having children was an extension of womanhood, not the definition.”

“I believe that a woman’s value should never be determined by whether or not she has a child, because that strips her of her entire identity as an adult unto herself.”

The resistance which Ms. Reighter encountered during her consultations for tubal ligation was unfounded in both my opinion as a woman, and also as a physician. It’s astonishing how medical colleagues refused to hear her argument for the ligation, and how her primary doctor kept insisting that she would change her mind at some point. What infuriates me even more was that the doctors abused medical paternalism, infusing their own beliefs about what a woman might be feeling about the idea of motherhood, and essentially stripping this woman of her rights.

Similar to what Christen Reighter believes, I have never bought into the lie that it has been my duty as a woman to have children. I have always bristled when people would try to pressure me to start a family. I have received this pressure from my family and feel that this is appropriate, but I have also been pressured by friends, patients, acquaintances and complete strangers. What is with the intense societal pressure to create progeny?

I have never experienced anything more than a brief and passing curiosity about the idea of having a child, and now that I am post-menopausal, I no longer have to concern myself with it. I don’t feel that I am incomplete or less of a woman because I chose not to have a mini-me. I essentially chose to be childless for a number of reasons, and I had the right to make that decision regardless of what anyone else thought.

Bravo to Christen Reighter for proclaiming her strong beliefs and standing her ground.

Great Article In Men’s Health On Weights and Longevity

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Image ID : 109191704
Copyright : Michal Bednarek

Click on the link here to access the article from Men’s Health Magazine:

https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/a19517546/lifting-weights-helps-you-live-longer/?fbclid=IwAR1Da9QtT4YbIqFv6YhwGniCGry46Mvaczy9Zo7ObSTedXkw1gPsl0QGpoU

A recent study from Penn State College of Medicine revealed that strength training reduced the risk of death in subjects aged 65 and older. The study surveyed people 65 and older about their exercise habits and then followed them for a 15 year period. Of the less than 10 percent of subjects who lifted weights, they were 46 percent less likely to die during the course of the study than other subjects.

Strength training combats the age-related muscle loss which occurs over time, improves bone density, and is also correlated with improved mood, memory and concentration. Even individuals who have never weight trained in the past can easily incorporate resistance training into their regular routine and reap the multiple benefits which it confers.

Black Friday Fitness Apparel Deals

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Every year, it seems that I am in need of new athletic shoes as well as new sports bras. My favorite time to shop for such items is on Black Friday, when some of the best deals are up for grabs. One thing I have noticed about Adidas sports bras is that they are well constructed, and don’t lose shape over time. So I am always on the lookout for their sports bras during the big Black Friday sales. I also love their athletic shoes, which are comfortable, offer great support, and also feature really attractive styling.

I remember hitting a Black Friday sale at a department store and scoring a pair of Adidas running shoes which sported an original price tag of $139, but I paid only $59 after the Black Friday blowout deal was stacked on top of the regular sale price. That was enough to motivate me to shop for athletic gear on Black Friday whenever possible. However, because my schedule has become increasingly more hectic in recent years, it can be challenging to figure out where the best Adidas deals (and deals for other major sportswear brands too) could be found.

Dr. Stacey Naito

Well, it’s like Slickdeals read my mind, because I can visit their site and find a whole slew of locations which sell Adidas apparel at steep discounts during Black Friday. How cool is that? Slickdeals has a full staff of editors who do all the work for you, sifting through all the deals which are available on post-Turkey day. The site will also provide coupon codes and links for coupons which yield even greater discounts on Black Friday. Some Adidas stores will often offer a storewide 50% discount, so if you prefer to hit those stores, you can find them on the Slickdeals site. Other stores will accept coupons which offer up to 50% off merchandise, making a shopping trek well worth the effort. Another deal which you might find is one in which you get deeper discounts with larger purchases. For example, you can save $20 if you spend $100 (20% discount), but you save $100 when you spend $300 (33% discount).

I bet you’re wondering what I’m talking about, so check out this link to see why I am so excited about Black Friday this year:

https://slickdeals.net/coupons/adidas/black-friday-deals/

If you don’t want to visit a brick and mortar store, you can find plenty of great online deals for Adidas and other major sportswear brands while cruising through the Slickdeals website. Another wonderful feature on the Slickdeals site is that you can read reviews by Slickdeals community members to really help you navigate through the information and select the best deals. So if you’re serious about getting the best deals on apparel from major sportswear brands like Adidas, I honestly think the best strategy is to peruse the Slickdeals site before Thanksgiving. This way, you can gather information on the Adidas deals which interest you the most, then map out the stores or websites which you plan to visit on that day.

Looks like I might be mapping out a strategy with the help of Slickdeals to get the best deals on Adidas athletic shoes and sports bras for this year’s Black Friday frenzy!

A Great TED Talk On Clutter

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“Clutter is postponed decisions.” – Barbara Hemphill

I absolutely love this brilliant quote by Barbara Hemphill which Kerry Thomas mentions in this TED Talk video, because it is completely true. No matter what type of clutter plagues you, it may be impeding you in a profound way from living a free and peaceful life.

I hate physical clutter and fight it all the time by conducting purges throughout the year. But physical clutter is only one type of clutter, and Ms. Thomas breaks down the different types into the following:

Physical
Mental
Emotional
Digital
Spiritual

Although I feel that I have a good handle on physical clutter in my environment, the other categories are more challenging. I control digital clutter by going through my email inboxes on a daily basis, consolidating images and deleting old text messages on my phone. I also think I have a decent handle on spiritual clutter because I meditate daily, take meditation and yoga courses, and also practice breathwork. I try to forgive those who upset me, and I also make sure to avoid toxic people.

The areas where I get hung up (and I suspect many others do) is with mental and emotional clutter. Ms. Thomas states that mental clutter consists of fears one might have, and it also could stem from the judgmental words of others, while emotional clutter consists of negative thoughts and behaviors. The thing is, I have fears which keep my mind racing, and I also fall into the trap of negative thinking from time to time, especially when I am in the middle of a crisis. So by no means am I completely free of clutter. However, I constantly strive to clear up anything which is depressing me or slowing me down.

It’s incredibly liberating to get rid of items which are damaged, unused, or worn, and it’s also wonderful to let go of all the mental blockades to happiness and freedom. One thing I always try to remind myself is that worrying about things will never bring about a solution. The only thing worry ends up doing is eroding one’s demeanor and sparking anxiety.

I suggest that you think about the different areas in which clutter might be adversely affecting your life, and adopt behaviors which counteract such clutter.

Rapunzels Are In Vogue

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Super long hair is in fashion these days, so much so that ladies who are unable to grow their hair as long as they want have been sporting extensions to produce the desired long locks. It’s been interesting hearing people comment on my hair, which I had decided to grow out again, because people who haven’t known me for long think it’s a new thing. Well, it’s not. I have always sported extremely long hair past my waist since I was a young child, and at one point in my 20’s, my hair was so long that not only would I sit on the ends, but other people sitting next to me would accidentally pin me down, and I would have to ask them to release my hair.

The longest my hair ever got was in 1991…

I know it sounds strange, but to me, my hair at this point almost seems short,compared to that time in the early 90’s when my hair was at its longest. Here’s where my hair was length-wise in June, and then in August of this year:

My hair in June 2019

By August 2019, my hair was this long, and this was even after a trim!

I still look at images of women with crazy long hair (past the gluteal fold), and find some appeal in it, but I honestly don’t know if it would drive me nuts to carry around such a long span of keratin everywhere. Let’s face it, long hair gets in the way, it’s heavy, it makes the nape of the neck hot during the summer, and caring for long hair requires some extra effort to keep it looking its healthiest. I’m not even sure my hair would reach the same length where I had it in 1991, but I suspect I’d get so sick and tired of the maintenance that I would opt for a shorter, more manageable length.

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I will say that women with very long hair do stand out. Long hair is special, it’s beautiful, and not everyone can rock a Rapunzel-length mane. I think anyone with beautiful, healthy hair who wants to grow it out should do it, even if they later decide that sporting a scarf of hair isn’t for them.

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There is also a fair amount of versatility with long hair. It can be coiled into an elegant updo, crafted into a half-up, half-down hairstyle which is fashionable and pretty, swept up into a ponytail, braided, or left loose and free. In addition, long hair makes a handy shawl or scarf if one is caught in brisk weather without a sweater or coat. Believe me, I have used my hair as insulation from cold air many times over the years!

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Lastly, there is something so romantic about very long hair. Women with uber long hair aren’t afraid to express themselves as women. A sharp contrast to pixie hair styles, long hair evokes tremendous femininity. What’s strange, though, is how oppressed the literary character Rapunzel was. She was held captive by a witch in a tower, and her only hope of escape was to find a rescuer who would have to climb up her incredibly long hair to rescue her. Eventually Rapunzel cuts her hair, which apparently symbolizes cutting ties with a maternal figure. Wow, heavy stuff.

I suspect that I will sport extremely long hair, at least waist-length, for as long as I live. I’ve spent the majority of my life with long hair as part of my signature style, and I don’t plan to change that style by chopping my strands.

Technicolor Hair

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The idea of sporting brightly and unnaturally colored hair has taken off in recent years, and has asserted itself as a means of self-expression and individuality for many people. What’s wild is that this trend has caught on with middle-aged people as well as the younger crowd. Even the names of the hair color trends suggest whimsy, such as unicorn hair and mermaid hair.

Mermaid hair is specifically defined as a mixture of marine shades blended into bleached and toned hair, while unicorn hair colors are more reminiscent of cotton candy and “girly” pastel shades. However, this by no means is any indication that this is only for girls or women. The wildly colored hair movement is found among people of different genders and ages. I’ve seen men with lilac and aqua hair, and women in their 70’s with pink hair.

Check out this collection of mermaid hair color combos from Redken:

https://www.redken.com/blog/haircolor/13-mermaid-haircolors-that-you-have-to-see-to-believe

Then we have the fantasy colors of unicorn hair which are truly imaginative and distinct:

Unicorn Hair Color

If you’ve considered trying some fun hair colors, make sure you understand what you are getting into. If you have very dark hair like I do, the color change you will see will be very subtle, only detectable in sunlight and other types of light which illuminate the coating of color which sits on top of the hair cuticle. If you really want to go for a dramatic change, you must bleach your hair to prep it for color.

But is it worth it to bleach your hair in preparation for bubble gum colors? This fantastic article, written by Nicola Dall’Asen (IG: @nicoladallasen) goes into real depth about everything that is involved with maintaining a multicolored mane, and it isn’t all rosy. It’s a good idea to do some research on different products to see which works best for you, and definitely consult with a reputable color specialist who can bleach and prep your hair with minimal hair damage.

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While Nicola focuses more on full coverage dyes, I have zero intention of ruining my naturally dark brown locks, so the only fun color products I have applied to my hair have been color conditioners. Overtone makes some amazing products, including color conditioners which are formulated to show up more on brown hair. I love the fact that application is so easy, and I also love the fact that there is no long-term commitment. If I wanted to allow the red tint which I applied to about 18 inches of my hair to fade, I would just allow my regular shampooing regimen to take place without using color conditioner, and the product would fade away after a few shampoos. I could start from scratch and maybe try purple if I wanted. Options are definitely much more limited for dark brown hair, so keep that in mind.

What I DON’T like about color conditioners (which also applies to permanent hair color) is that they make such a mess. Whenever I take a shower and wash my hair, my tub looks like a Jackson Pollock painting, and I have to remove the stains with bleach cleanser and a sponge every single time. I now have to spread a dark towel over my pillows and sheets when I sleep because the red will transfer to the fabric. I have also worn white or lightly colored clothing and then noticed later on that the neckline and back of my clothing were pink!

That being said, it has been fun experimenting with colors and knowing that I haven’t damaged my hair. In fact, Overtone Color Conditioners actually condition the hair and improve its luster. So I am definitely on board with using the products and having fun with them.

Give the temporary colors a try and see if you like them before diving into permanent color options.

Bohemian Vibes

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I love the fact that bohemian, or boho, culture has blossomed as much as it has over the past few years. Bohemian fashion is creative, ethnically diverse and eclectic, not to mention loose and comfortable, and the social undercurrent of people who subscribe to bohemian culture is similarly diverse. Boho chic has brought back the hippie culture which had emerged during the early to mid-1960’s. The influence of hippies became so ingrained in our culture by the mid-1970’s that longer hair and colorful clothing from other countries was accepted as a new norm. Then with the Reagan era, a new conservatism swept the globe which remained for many years. Only in the past several years has the boho trend asserted itself once again.

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Bohemian culture strives to break conventional norms, and to express a unique style. It appeals to artists, musicians, and anyone who is passionate about having essential freedom. Bohemians also strive to establish harmony with the environment, and often will participate in movements which are designed to save the planet. Think of events like Burning ManBurning ManBurning Man and Coachella, both of which capture the hippie free spirit vibe perfectly. Fashion-wise, the bohemian vibe allows people to mix and match different styles and colors on a whim to create a look which is truly unique.

So how do you put together a bohemian look? Just remember that a key feature of bohemian style is to mix textures, add accessories like jewelry, hats, or scarves, and to look and feel comfortable in whatever you choose to wear. Think of cozy fabrics like cotton, wool, denim, leather, and suede. Crochet and knit items, as well as some lace items, add a romantic flair and soften a look even further. Just make sure you don’t go overboard, or else you may end up looking like a thrift-store maven.

Boho chic tattoo design. Golden crescent moon and sun with elements of the mandala – astrology, alchemy and magic symbol.
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Who’s Ready For Black Friday?

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I know, it’s only October, but the biggest shopping day of the year, also known as Black Friday, will be here before you know it. You might be one of those people who get bitten by the shopping bug even before you fully digest that Thanksgiving meal, or you may be someone who absolutely detests shopping. But the fact remains that Black Friday is full of great deals and killer discounts you won’t find any other time of the year.

I remember when my mother would drag me to the mall on the day following Thanksgiving so that she could get a jump on Black Friday sales. Yet once I was an adult, I was more prone to sitting at home and relaxing than I was to hitting the stores in search of great bargains.

One year, I stood in line from 11 pm on Thanksgiving until 7 am on Black Friday to get the best deals on merchandise at Office Depot. Somehow, one of my roommates was able to convince my other roommate and me to hit the store at 11 pm on Thanksgiving, after our bellies were filled with the Thanksgiving feast I had prepared earlier that day. I had been cooking Thanksgiving dishes on Thanksgiving, when Andrew approached me, Office Depot flyer in hand, and said, “We’ve gotta go to Office Depot for Black Friday! Doors open at 7 am! There’s a laptop listed here that is an amazing deal, and I must get it!”

I remember that it was cold and windy that night, and we had no food, beverages, blankets or chairs with us. We simply stood outside for 8 hours, which was enough for me to vow never to stand in line on Black Friday for hours on end, without any creature comforts! As it turned out, my roommate never got that laptop, because all units were sold by the time we were allowed to enter the store. I was the one who ended up purchasing a new laptop, and I got a fantastic deal on it.

For anyone who is willing to brave the long lines to enter a brick and mortar store on Black Friday, make sure to have warm coats, blankets, beverages, snacks, and chairs to sit on. Bring a large umbrella in case it rains. And above everything else, keep your sense of humor while waiting.

In recent years, online shopping has become increasingly popular, and online Black Friday deals enable you to shop without ever leaving your home. For people like me who don’t enjoy shopping, online stores are much more convenient. All you have to do is fill your online shopping cart, pay for the items, and wait for them to be delivered to you.

If you are serious about your Black Friday shopping, and you want to build the best strategy for getting the best deals around, check out Slickdeals. This site gives you detailed information on where to find the best Black Friday deals, whether in-store or online. They even provide hours of operation for a number of popular stores which tend to offer the best discounts. Slickdeals has a staff of editors who will comb through all deals and provide information via a forum so that you can determine which stores have the best deals, versus other stores which have less impressive pricing. Slickdeals even has a phone app which will keep your finger on the pulse of the latest Black Friday deals.

You can check the site out here: https://slickdeals.net/blackfriday/