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Eulogy For Rob Willhite

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FEW CROSS OVER THE RIVER.
MOST ARE STRANDED ON THIS SIDE.
ON THE RIVERBANK THEY RUN UP AND DOWN.
BUT THE WISE MAN, FOLLOWING THE WAY,
CROSSES OVER, BEYOND THE REACH OF DEATH.
– Buddha

One day eight years ago I met Rob and was immediately struck by his elegant stature and his calm and kind demeanor. What was most striking, though, was a spirit presence, something ethereal that I couldn’t define, and it was that presence that put me in awe of him. He kindly invited me to join his meditation group, and I gladly obliged. And so began my journey into more structured meditation, a connection to the cosmos, and a deep friendship.

I remember being somewhat intimidated by Rob, and I realize that this was my own little grasshopper mind coupled with egoic limitations that were causing me to experience that feeling of intimidation. Rob’s “Robisms” reminded me to ponder in more enlightened ways, and I took great comfort in hearing him utter one of his typical sage sayings and following it with either a grin or a chuckle, and a twinkle in the eye that revealed the little boy that still wanted to laugh and play.

Then when Rob was diagnosed last Fall and I heard of all the trials and tribulations he was enduring, I realized that everything this remarkable man had experienced in his life was coming to a head and that the ultimate test was yet to come. I drove to Rancho Los Amigos a couple of days after his surgery to see him, not sure what I would encounter. Yet as I laid my eyes upon Rob, a great surge of joy washed through me, and this joy continued as we talked and joked around, laughed and smiled. He was in such great spirits that even though I was devastated to hear of his diagnosis, it didn’t seem to matter, because we were truly in the moment, friends enjoying each other’s company. Rob’s wonderful dry wit was still very much intact and he used it to say things that had me chuckling at his bedside.

1016444_696074497089656_1678297_nShortly after Rob was discharged to Bess’s home this past December, I made regular scheduled visits to help out, and continued to do so through most of March. Every single one of those days I spent with Rob was an absolute treasure. Our conversations ran the gamut of profound, funny, tragic, and philosophical. Most days we would go for a walk or visit the neighbor dogs for a bit, and on some days he and I would meditate. Our jaunts to the L.A. Zoo were also very special and I feel so fortunate to have gone with Rob there. He missed his animal friends so very much and was able to have two wonderful reunions with them. The first time we visited, Leadbottom, the Andean Condor, was being a butthead and refused to come to the fence to greet Rob, but during our second visit, Leadbottom finally relented, and I witnessed the friendship and bond which they shared. It was truly a magical moment.

Though I had known Rob for several years, it was only this year that I learned that Rob was a man who had never felt, as he stated, like he belonged on this earth. I knew what he meant. He was so evolved spiritually that being locked in the physical realm was challenging at best with him. We spoke at length about countless other subjects during my regular visits, and he revealed more of his life experiences and upbringing to me, making him more endearing and real, and dissolving the silly intimidation I had once felt so long ago. He expressed gratitude towards me many times for helping out during the course of his illness, but the countless spiritual gifts he had bestowed upon me during that time were staggering in comparison.

There was one thing Rob said to me when he was still at Rancho which struck me. He had said, “I’ll meet you on the other side for sake.” To which I replied, “Not just yet, Rob, not for either of us. But I absolutely will meet you for that sake at some point.” Eventually, we will share that bottle of sake on the other side. I look forward to it.

How I Select Pro Contests To Compete In

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DJ ClassicYou might be wondering what process I go through to determine which IFBB Pro Bikini events I will prep for, especially since there are a whopping THIRTY-SIX Pro Bikini events slated for 2014. Eight of these contests are outside of the United States (Australia, New Zealand, Toronto, Finland, Slovakia, Korea, Mexico, Russia), and I would very much like to do two of them, provided that sponsors would be willing to send me to the locations I have chosen.

Aside from the international events, I have zero desire to travel via plane to get to the U.S. based contests. That is partially due to the fact that air travel is less enjoyable than ever before due to all the TSA regulations. I would much rather throw my stuff into my car and take a road trip to get to a destination that is a reasonable distance away. I did this two weeks in a row recently, driving to Phoenix, AZ the week before last (400 miles each way), and then to Sacramento, CA last week (also around 400 miles). Through this process of elimination I have omitted the majority of events on the list, including all East Coast events. This means that several contests on my to-do list will either be in California or Arizona.

No matter where you are on your competition journey, it is important to map out a schedule so that you can establish clear goal markers. You may consider criteria such as geographic distance, getting in front of certain judges, hitting masters’ divisions, or pursuing that Pro Card. In all but the rarest of cases, try to avoid jumping into an event at the last minute, because chances are, you won’t come in at your best. Sometimes you’ll hear about a particular contest being so well-run or so much fun that you want to do it almost solely for that reason. This is what happened for me in 2010 as an amateur at the NPC Emerald Cup in Washington. I ended up having a fantastic time and won a tiara along with my second place finish and trophy. You can do this, but make sure that it somehow keeps you moving forward towards your competitive goals.

Food Network: Food I Can Never Eat

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Food Network LogoThe Food Network is my favorite television channel, and I watch it regularly. I appreciate the chemistry and creativity behind culinary efforts and enjoy the visual appeal of dishes that are prepared and served. Perhaps my favorite show on the Food Network is Guy Fieri’s “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives”, in which Guy travels all over the United States in pursuit of the best reasonably priced eats around. What is so sad is the fact that I can virtually never indulge in the featured dishes at the restaurants Guy visits, because they are so laden with everything I am NOT supposed to eat!

You would think that not being able to eat the foods that are featured on the Food Network would be enough to deter me from watching it regularly, but I get great pleasure from watching it. I must get some vicarious pleasure out of watching others eat forbidden dishes or something. My interest in this channel is so extreme that whenever I travel for IFBB Pro competitions (incidentally, I used to do this when I was an amateur in the NPC as well), I will turn the television on, find the Food Network, then leave it on 24/7 while staying at a hotel. This strange habit of keeping the t.v. on in a hotel room is one I have had for many years, but it wasn’t until 2011 when I began tuning into the Food Network while traveling. I have had fellow competitors come up to my room and remark on how tortuous it is to see shows about food on t.v, and only then does it hit me that this quirk of mine is a bit strange.

To a certain extent I miss the days when I was a foodie, indulging in gustatory delights with some frequency. However, on the rare occasions when I HAVE indulged, I usually pay the price for the next several days as my body tries to figure out what attacked it! The only thing my body can handle is a moderate cheat meal which does not consist of eating at more than one restaurant in an evening. Though this has only happened a handful of times over the years, I have had post-contest cheat meals in which I have visited one restaurant for a specific food craving, then another for a fellow competitor’s food craving, then a third place for dessert. After such gluttony, my belly is distended, my digestive tract is angry, and I pool subcutaneous water into the backs of my legs.

Since decadent foods make my body angry, I would much prefer to watch a television show which features those foods so that I can enjoy a calorie-free fantasy. This way I can indulge in hot fudge sundaes, mile-high burgers, heaping piles of pasta, and rich sauces without guilt!

Maybe I AM A Vampire…

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I have spent my entire adult life never looking like my chronological age, so I am accustomed to people scratching their heads when I reveal my age. When I was 20, I could pass for a teenager, and when I was 30, people thought I was 20 or 21. As the number of years I logged began to creep up more, I noticed slight shifts and changes, such as the loss of the very full cheeks and deep dimples I had when I was younger (the dimples are still there, just not as deep). Yet my appearance still belied my age, and for that I am truly grateful.
Me at 18
What blows my mind is that people now regularly guess my age to be roughly 15 years less than what it actually is. Does this mean I am looking younger as I age? Since we are our own worst critics, I will admit that I see the skin sagging and annoying grey hairs that no one else really seems to notice or pay attention to, so my perception is that I am aging just fine. But then I get a glimpse of what other people might see when I am perusing images from a recent photo shoot. When I look at my face, I don’t have the furrowed lines and flaccid skin that I often see in patients, many of whom are younger than me. Yes, I have had a touch of filler, but not a lot. I don’t undergo any intense skin treatments, nor do I take any super supplements. When I use topical skincare products, they are usually pretty basic, with my current lineup consisting of Vitamin C serum, hyaluronic acid/zinc serum, and a light oil-free moisturizer. I don’t slather any exotic creams on my face, and I certainly have never had any type of facial surgery.Me at 31

I have reviewed images from several years ago when I began competing versus now, and I honestly think I look even younger now. I work out like a beast regularly and do not slack on my routine. I eat clean meals which are balanced and chock full of alkalinizing vegetables and fruits. In addition, I take lots of natural supplements on a daily basis to optimize my nutrition and gain the protective effects of the substances in my regimen.

I have great genetic stock from my Japanese mother and a Hungarian father, so who knows? Maybe there IS vampire blood in me!

Bleeding Money

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flying money

Do you ever find yourself in a vicious cycle in which any influx of money leaves your hands almost immediately because a bunch of bills come at once, or unexpected expenses pile up? I have been going through a pretty consistent “money bleed” for the last few weeks, and it is extremely frustrating because I just cannot catch up. I take one step forward, only to take two steps back.It This has been happening when extra funds have come in, almost like clockwork. It’s just random and weird and it needs to end!

I am sure many of you can relate. Times are tough, and people continue to struggle to make ends meet. Salaries are not rising sufficiently to accommodate the rise of inflation, soaring credit card APR’s, and the mess that is the Obama Care Act. Sadly, many people are slowly trying to dig themselves out of financial holes, at times losing their ground and falling back. It’s enough to make one give up.

I have literally received payment in the mail for jobs I have completed, only to find 1,2 or more bills in the same stack of mail which equal or exceed the amount of the payment I received. Money in…money out! I have taken on more work to try to absorb expenses, only to find that such a tactic doesn’t work. It’s almost like I am meant to always scramble, that perhaps for the time being, that this is my karmic lesson. The strange thing is that I am NOT a spender, and I pretty much detest shopping. So it doesn’t make sense that the bottom always seems to drop out on me. I am a planner, a saver, and never gamble, qualities which I suppose have kept me afloat during especially rough times when others would have sunk.

The goal is to be one step ahead. I am determined to accomplish this, SOON!

Some People Text TOO MUCH!

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I cannot believe how some people seem to be addicted to texting, to the exclusion of actually speaking to others in person (that’s because they’re too distracted by texting incessantly). Call me old school, but I much prefer having discussions via phone or in person chats than via text. One of the most annoying things for me is to be presented with a multi-part question requiring a lengthy response. If that text is followed up with a number of similarly epic-length scrolls, I will often resort to text responses such as, “too much to text” or “tell you when I see you”, because it is agonizing for me to text an interminable response.
i-phone-chat-text-texting-message-msg-phone-bubbles-message-fail-funny-facebook-status-timeline-profile-photos-for-sharing-fb-29
I have determined a few types of texting addicts by their tendencies and styles:

THE ADVICE SEEKER: This person is always asking for advice, whether it be on what movie to see, what job offer to take, or what name would be most suitable for his new dog. Some people I know will regularly ask for medical advice which generally irritates me, since I do not treat patients remotely. I just recently had someone ask me detailed questions about an upcoming surgery. It took almost a half hour of my time to respond to all the texts, whereas if we had just talked on the phone, we could have covered the same material in about 5 minutes.

THE TOLSTOY: This person enjoys writing lengthy essays which, on certain phones, will come in 4, 5, 6 segments, each of which is lengthy enough to make your eyes cross. Such texts may take the form of a synopsis of the entire day, or if it has been a while since the person has texted, may summarize the last few weeks or months. If that’s the case, brace yourself for an endless stream of these essays.

THE WORD ASSOCIATION TEXTER: The word association texter employs a style of texting which reads like random thoughts which are wholly unrelated to each other. It’s a hippy-dippy, stream of consciousness style which makes little sense at all.

THE LAZY TEXTER: The lazy texter may get into a rhythm and text quite a bit, but the texts are full of typos and require you to play a guessing game and translate the gibberish. “Going to the gym around 7 am” may end up looking more like “Goidn ti the gtm arudhb 7 am”. What bugs me is that certain people have no problem sending an endless stream of these massively misspelled texts. It seems lazy and sloppy, and it drives me nuts.

THE “LOL” TEXTER: This person is evidently quite happy when texting, because he or she uses “LOL” like it’s a part of normal conversation. You may even see humorless texts from this person with “LOL” appended to them. An example of an actual text I received from someone a couple of years ago is, “Oh wow, that sucks about your dad in the hospital and all LOL”. HOW IS THAT FUNNY?

THE ABBREVIATION TEXTER: This person abbreviates everything from TTYL to SMH, IDK, etc. I wonder if people who have a tendency to do this begin to forget the actual words behind the abbreviations? Hah!

THE EMOTICON TEXTER: This person loves using the emoticons which have become so ingrained in our culture. You can open up a text exchange with this person and see smiley faces and frown faces peppered throughout the entire record.

THE ANGRY TEXTER: This type of person likes to argue via text instead of hashing it out via phone or face to face contact. Usually such arguments are the result of misinterpreted texts and are best avoided by speaking on the phone with each other, but the angry texter opts to communicate via text.

THE “WHATCHA DOING?” TEXTER: This person’s texts can follow you around like a puppy dog, with “whatcha doing?”, and “what are you up to?” used quite a bit. If you text “at work, can’t text now”, you will encourage this person to then send about 15 text messages in a row, with things like, “yeah, it’s a drag being at work”, “what are you working on?”, “Do you have a really busy schedule today?”, etc.

I honestly think people should rely less on texting technology and return to communicating by voice on the phones they carry around with them.

Botox Treatments Are NOT An Urgent Issue

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injectables and faceWhile I appreciate the aesthetic benefits and self-confidence boost that injectables treatments confer upon the people who undergo them, I get very annoyed by the sense of urgency which some people adopt when it’s time to get treated again. I am not kidding you when I say I have had patients contact me asking for Botox, Dysport, Xeomin, Juvederm, Restylane, Perlane, Belotero, or Radiesse with a hint of desperation in their voices, as if it was a matter of life or death in getting a treatment lined up immediately.

In a way it makes perfect sense because these non-surgical fixes are a cost-effective way to smooth lines and furrows and restore lost volume. When the clock is turned back the first time and a new patient sees the results of injectables treatments, it’s a wonderful reveal which causes the patient to see himself or herself differently. The neurotoxins (Botox, Dysport and Xeomin) yield effects which last from 3 to 6 months, with muscle function gradually returning over time, along with the corresponding lines and wrinkles. Fillers have greater longevity and dissipate from 6 months to two years after the treatment is performed. The dissipation tends to be gradual, not sudden.

So when I have patients calling the office, calling me or texting me, insisting that they MUST come in IMMEDIATELY for treatment, I almost want to ask, “Where’s the fire?” Sometimes the request is on such short notice that I cannot accommodate it, which sometimes upsets the patient greatly. The response from the patient goes something like, “But I need it NOW! You need to do this for me. I’m sure you can find time in your schedule to stay late or somehow accommodate me.”

Such treatments are NEVER an emergency, and your face isn’t going to fall if you don’t get shot up with neurotoxin or filler immediately. Trust me on this!