Category life

When You Don’t Have Your Phone

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© captainvector, 123RF Free Images

We now live in an age in which we are so reliant on our cell phones that when they are misplaced, lost or stolen, it can be paralyzing. I know this feeling all too well now because my phone was stolen earlier this year, and I was without a phone for three days. I found myself reaching for my cell phone completely out of habit for the first few hours, then I began to resign myself to the fact that I didn’t have a mini-computer. I was forced to figure out other ways to navigate through my day, and it made me realize how much our phones provide for us. There was a 50th birthday celebration I had to attend the day after my phone was stolen, and luckily I had added the location which had been texted to me onto my Google calendar, so I was able to enter the address on my car navigation and get to the party without any issue. Otherwise, I would have had a devil of a time trying to reach my friend to get the address of the birthday venue.

Social media and other apps were a bit trickier for me to adapt to without a phone, since some apps only function through the mobile version and not the desktop version. I was also unable to post on Instagram Stories during the period in which I had no phone. As a result of being sans mobile phone, I spent an oddly peaceful and quiet weekend, uninterrupted by text messages, notifications from apps, or phone calls.

When I received my replacement phone, I was able to recover about 70% of the images and videos which were on my previous phone, mainly because I had a habit of uploading content onto my Dropbox account for backup. It was a completely different situation with my contacts, of which there were over 3,000. I discovered that Google drive had NOT backed up any of my contacts, so I was forced to look through email servers to recover some of the information and enter all of it manually onto my new device. Sadly, I was only able to recover just under 300 contacts.

It still surprises me how someone like me who grew up in an era before answering machines could be so dependent on a cell phone, as if it was a lifeline. I’m so old school that we had only one phone, a beige rotary dial phone, and I accepted the fact that if I called someone and there was no answer, the only thing I could do was call back at a later time. With a single phone line, and no call waiting back then, a friend calling in while my mom was blabbing with one of her work buddies would hear an annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP to indicate that the line was busy. Life was far less complicated back then.

Now that I am back up and running with a new cell phone, I have already settled into the feeling of security which having my phone around confers. Everything from ordering food to be delivered, to checking emails, to making mobile banking deposits, has become reestablished as my day-to-day pattern. People can call and leave a voicemail message if I am on the other line. These little computers have certainly become a necessity in this era!

New Rug Runners For Our Stairs

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There are two flights of stairs covered in Berber carpet in our place, and because one of my cats enjoys scratching Berber carpet, I purchased rug runners for the stairs shortly after we had moved in so that the carpet would be protected. Since each set of stairs has two L-turn stair landings, I had to purchase three separate rug runners for each set of stairs, but I had found some reasonably priced versions on Amazon. However, five years later, the rug runners were looking pretty shabby, partially because the scratch happy cat had switched to scratching the runners (never mind that he has had access to numerous scratching posts throughout the house), and partially because of wear and tear from foot traffic. The runners had definitely gotten to the point where they were a bit of an embarrassment, but since I remembered spending a small chunk of change on the existing runners, I wasn’t too eager to plunk down more money to get replacements.

However, I found myself anxious to shift the energy in my home after one of my cats and my mom died, so I went back onto Amazon to reorder the same runners. Unfortunately, the sellers I had purchased from before were no longer selling rug runners, and none of the other runners I found on Amazon were customizable to the dimensions which I needed. That spurred me to investigate other sites which specialized in rug runners, one of which actually had fair pricing, especially when compared to a couple of other sites which were prohibitively expensive. I placed my order at the end of July and was thrilled when the runners arrived within four business days.

The uninstallation of the old rug runners was exhausting and took about two and half times longer than the installation of the new rug runners, but once the old ones were removed and replaced by the new ones, the place was transformed into a much more welcoming home. I even decided to place patterned runners in one stairway, and though I was initially very nervous about how they would look, I absolutely love them. The quality of the new runners is far superior to the old ones, with a nice, springy feel under the feet. If you are in the market for rug runners of any kind (kitchen, stairs, hallways), I would definitely recommend runrug.com,

This is the first runner for the first set of stairs…

This is the main stretch of runner for the first flight of stairs

The third runner for the first flight of stairs

Our new Afrikans print taupe runners for the second flight of stairs

Second runner…

The final runner for the second flight of stairs

I hope that these new rug runners last for a very long time!

My Mom’s Eulogy

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My mom was the type of woman who didn’t apologize for who she was, and she was fully aware of her abilities.  It always amused me how she made sure I knew how to use basic tools like hammers and screwdrivers, and wasn’t afraid to do things like assemble furniture or fix a hole in the drywall.  However, she was also willing to admit when she was not as adept at certain tasks.  One case in point was cooking.  My mom didn’t really cook, and with the exception of meat loaf, broiled meats, and sukiyaki which was made with canned sukiyaki vegetables and fresh beef, her idea of cooking was looking at the back of the Stouffer’s box to see to what temperature the oven needed to be heated. 

Since Mom was always working so much, she was doing the best she could to provide for me, but even if she had time to cook, it just wasn’t her thing.  So I wasn’t surprised when she VERY eagerly encouraged me to bake and cook after I had revealed to her that I had an interest in doing so.  In fact, when I was 17, I told my mom, “Let’s not go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving this year, I wanna make an entire turkey feast!”  She was doubtful that I could pull it off, but when I did, she told me that I had full permission to repeat the process every subsequent year if I wanted. 

My mother was always interested in spy stories and mysteries, and had told me that she once wanted to become a private detective.  She also wanted to travel internationally, but sadly was never able to do so, mostly due to a lack of money, but also because she was so devoted to work and to me that it would have been difficult for her at best to go traipsing all over the globe. 

By the time I actively began pursuing my own international travel goals, my mom was already ill, so there was no way that she could join me in those travels.  In an effort to bring exotic locales to her, I would share all the photos, videos, and funny stories I had collected from my travels.  I often thought that if she hadn’t had me, she might have been that jet-setter she had dreamt of becoming, but as we all know, life can take us in all kinds of directions we hadn’t anticipated.

Even though I was her only child, my mom probably also really would have been happy to have had other children besides me, and I was able to see her motherly devotion given to others when I got her a Scottish Fold kitten, whom she named Spencer Tracy.  That little dude stole her heart, so much so that I got a bit edged out! After she had had him for about a year, she started referring to the cat as my baby brother!  There was one time when I was at her apartment, and figured I would sleep in my former bedroom, but Mister Spencer would have none of it!  He hissed and carried on so much that I was effectively banished to the sofa for that evening!  What a bratty brother!

Harriet also adored my ex-husband, not only while we were married, but throughout the years after we divorced. Whenever he would visit her at the assisted living facility, my mom would pretty much ignore me, and devote all her attention to him.  This would prompt me to say, “Hey, what am I, chopped liver?”  But I always secretly enjoyed the fact that she was so close to him.  She always had a keen interest in in hearing about other members of her family or my dad’s family as well, and even my friends, some of whom she had never even met in person. 

Over the 19 years after her brain aneurysm rupture occurred, Harriet’s tastes changed, and they were unexpected and interesting. She became a Bingo master, and I could tell she enjoyed being the boss lady, calling out the numbers and monitoring everyone else’s boards.  She won so much virtual money from those Bingo games, I tell you…if that had all been real money, she would have been able to buy something like a television! 

Speaking of television, she cultivated a passion for the Lakers, despite never having followed the NBA, or ANY major league sports for that matter, prior to 2013.  She had Lakers posters in her room, and would talk to me about the games.  Mom also kept up with current events, and was pretty hip for an elderly woman.  She surprised me shortly after Prince had passed away by telling me, with a devilish glint in her eyes, that she thought Prince had been a VERY good looking man. 

All in all, Mom was a remarkable, caring, supportive, tough, honest, opinionated woman, who made sure I developed a backbone. You would be asking for it if you wanted her opinion about something, and this was the case until very shortly before her passing.  I think people actually got a kick out of how sassy my mother could be, even though she could also be cantankerous and defiant. 

Now that my smart, strong, sassy, beautiful, amazing mother is gone and no longer suffering, I can honestly say that I must have been the luckiest person in the world to have had this wonderful woman as my mother, my hero, and my best friend. 

Bread or Bead?

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Copyright: melaninaevgeniya

It’s always a good idea to read invitations carefully, as this story will emphasize!

My friend Karla received an invitation to a bridal shower. When she scanned over the invite, she read that all guests were asked to bring a bread to the event. In an effort to make sure that the bread she got was special, Karla trekked over to a bakery which sold Häsi bread, a specialty sourdough bread which is saturated with turmeric and butterfly pea flower to create a distinctive blue and yellow coloring which is both striking and delicious. Feeling quite proud of her selection, Karla made her way over to the bridal shower.

When Karla arrived at the bridal shower, she noticed that there were about 50 people there, but she didn’t see any other loaves of bread at the party. What she did notice was that there was a large tray on a table, filled with about 50 beads, some made of clear glass, some made of plastic, some made of stone. Karla asked the bride what all the beads were for, and was told that people had been asked to bring BEADS to the shower so that the bride could string them all together and make a keepsake necklace.

The best part of this completely true story is that the bride had celiac disease, and would have never asked anyone to bring bread to an event!

Why Raves Are So Appealing

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Copyright: cunaplus

Back in March of this year, I attended my very first rave, a smaller event which was held indoors at a theater in downtown Los Angeles. What surprised me was how loving, accepting, and cool just about everyone was at the event and how consistent they were with PLUR, an acronym which stands for Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect. It was as if all judgement, criticism, pretense and posturing had been left at the entrance to the event, and I have to admit that it was refreshing and lovely. I was so enraptured by the energy at the event and so into the music that I was left wanting more when it was time to leave.

I have to admit that I am a bit hesitant to attend the larger, outdoor festivals, for a number of reasons which are well detailed here. It just doesn’t seem like it would be very fun to sit in a Porta-Potty with a full length bodysuit gathered around my ankles, nor does it seem like fun to have a bunch of strangers sweating on me while I dance to electronic music. It was already quite stuffy and hot while I was at the indoor venue, and that was during a part of the year when the outside temperature was in the upper 40’s Fahrenheit. Bear in mind that it is customary and almost required that attendees dress scantily, primarily to offset the increased ambient temperature which develops as a result of all the human bodies gyrating and dancing together in a small space, and also as a proclamation of body awareness and acceptance.

Despite the fact that the venue was pretty packed, and the ambient temperature was pretty toasty, I had an incredible time, and can’t wait to attend another rave. There is something so liberating about dancing without a care in the world, moving with the beat of the music, and feeling absolutely no judgement from other people at the event. It was also fun to dress up, especially because it has been years since I have dressed up for Halloween or masquerade balls. Raves are a fantastic way for adults to align with their childlike energy, and let go.

How Long Do Cats Live?

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Have you ever wondered how old your cat was? There is an updated formula which replaces the outdated 7 human years per cat year which provides a more accurate assessment of a cat’s development. The first year of a cat’s life is equivalent to 14 human years, the second year is equivalent to 10 human years, and every year thereafter is equivalent to 4 human years. For example, a 18-year-old cat would be equivalent to an 80-year-old human.

In recent years, feline life-stages have been redefined as well to more accurately reflect their growth and development over the years. Kittenhood is defined as the period from birth to 6 months of age, a junior is between 7 months to 2 years of age, a young adult is between 3 to 6 years of age, a mature cat is between 7 to 10 years old, senior cats are between 11 to 14 years of age, and super senior or geriatric cats are 15 years old or older.

Mixed breed cats tend to live longer than purebred cats, with an average lifespan of 14 years compared to 12.5 years for purebred cats. The most common cause of death in cats over 5 years old is kidney disease, with over 13% of cats succumbing to kidney failure. Out of the 13 cats I have had over the span of 37 years, three of them passed away as a result of kidney disease, so I am acutely aware of this statistic.

However, I met two cats in the past who beat the averages, with one cat at 25 years of age, and another who was a ripe old 29 years of age. Both cats were extremely frail and only had the energy to sleep, eat, drink, and take care of excretory functions, but it was impressive to see that they were still alive at such advanced ages.

Supposedly, the oldest cat was Creme Puff, who lived 38 years, from August 3, 1967 until August 6, 2005. There are several cats who are still alive at this point, the oldest of whom is Great Grandma Wad who is 36 years old. The oldest cat who is still alive who was verified by Guiness Book of World Records is Flossie, who was born on December 29, 1995.

Where To Invest Your Money Right Now

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If you have money invested in traditional bank savings accounts, you’re doing yourself a major disservice, because the average APY (Annual Percentage Yield) is currently at 0.23% according to CNET’s sister site Bankrate. In startk contrast, high yield online savings accounts from sites such as CIT Bank offer APY’s over 4% (CIT Bank’s current rate is 4.85% APY for balances of $5,000 or more). I have parked emergency funds and other savings into high yield savings accounts for about 8 years now, and would never consider putting my money into the paltry savings vehicles which traditional banks offer.

Let’s take the APY rates of 0.23% and 4.85% to provide a comparison between traditional savings accounts and high yield onling savings accounts. If $1,000 is invested in an account earning 0.23% APY, the account balance after 12 months will be $1,002.30, while $1,000 invested in an account earning 4.85% APY will have a balance after 12 months of $1,048.54. I’m sure anyone would be happier with having an additional $48 at the end of the year as opposed to $2!

Another investment alternative which actually has slightly higher yields than high yield savings accounts is a certificate of deposit (CD), but the downside is that the funds are locked up for a designated period of time. If you have money which you are willing to set aside into a CD, you might want to consider this investment vehicle. At least with a high yield savings account, you can withdraw funds rather quickly without penalty should the need arise. Some individuals who are accustomed to brick and mortar banks and traditional ATM machines won’t like this option, but I am sure that eventually, physical bank locations will go the way of the dinosaur, so it makes sense to get used to performing transactions online.

The other thing to consider is that the APY at online banks which offer high yield savings options can and does frequently fluctuate. However, accounts at such institutions are FDIC insured for up to $250,000, a comforting fact when trying to figure out how to protect one’s savings in these tumultuous financial times. At the very least, high yield savings accounts provide a means by which one’s money can keep pace with inflation.

Those Sneaky Chinese Merchants Struck Again

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Copyright: elutas

I am sure that many of you are aware of companies which are very aggressive with their advertising on social media platforms like Instagram, and which often convince people to purchase from them. Then if there is an issue with the items once they arrive, the company will renege on their promise to honor returns, despite the fact that their return policy clearly states that customers are able to return items with no issues. I have dealt with such companies before, and without exception, the companies are always based in China.

I recently placed two orders from Bella Barnett, never suspecting that the company would give me a hard time if I needed to return anything. I made sure to look up the return and exchange policy on the website:

General Terms

For all situations including that the outfits don’t fit, Bella Barnett will gladly accept returns or exchanges of new, unworn, unwashed, and unaltered merchandise with all original internal garment tags days within 28 days of the delivery of your items.
There is a removable padding in all swimwear to protect you. For hygienic reasons, swimwear with no hygienic padding is unable to be returned.

Please do not return the package to the address on the waybill, that is not the return address. Otherwise no refund will be given!


It’s important to note that shipping costs are not covered by Bella Barnett when sent back, and we are unable to provide shipping labels. The return address is in New Jersey, USA. Please be sure to tell us the item that needs to be returned or exchanged and get the return address before you return it, also, you need to include your order number on the return form and give us the tracking number after sending the item back. No refunds will be given for those who cannot provide a tracking number.
When we receive your returned items and determine that they are in returnable condition (new, unworn, unwashed, and unaltered merchandise with all original internal garment tags), refunds or exchanges will begin.
For products with quality problems, we will take a full refund/partial refund, if you don’t want to send it back and get a refund, you may need to provide us with a picture of the product to get a refund.

Refunds

Refunds are usually returned within 7 days via the original method of payment(requests for refunds to other credit cards/accounts for any reason will not be accepted), or even within 24 hours if you paid via PayPal. If the returns are not caused by our fault(quality problem, color difference, wrong shipment), we will not refund the postage.

I received one order and was happy with the item, but the second order consisted of an item which was poorly made and didn’t look like what was pictured on the website. I followed the instructions which were detailed on the website for returns and sent them an email describing the item that I wanted to return, and asked them to provide a return address. This is the response I received:

On Wednesday, April 5, 2023 at 05:14:02 PM PDT, contact@bellabarnett.com <contact@bellabarnett.com> wrote:

Dear Customer, 

Could you please tell us how does not fit？Whether it is too big or too small? We can first seek whether there are other solutions. Thanks.

By that time, I already suspected that I was dealing with a China-based company, and that they would try to convince me not to send back the item. I responded to their email by stating that the item was poorly made, didn’t look like what was pictured on the website, and looked horrible when I tried it on. Instead of honoring my return request, this was Bella Barnett’s reply:

On Thursday, April 6, 2023 at 05:18:35 AM PDT, contact@bellabarnett.com <contact@bellabarnett.com> wrote:

Dear Customer, 

Sorry to keep you waiting. Considering that shipping or cross-country shipping can be expensive, we can make an exception and provide you with an alternative solution once. You can pick another item at similar price on our website and we will send it to you for free. You do not need to return the original item either. If you want an item with a price difference of more than $5 from the original item, you will need to make up the difference.Please let me know which item you want if you accpet this solution. Once the free replacement is sent out, we will no longer accept any return requests. Please be advised. If you still want to send it back please let us know and we will send you the return address.

By that time I was pretty aggravated and didn’t want to continue to argue with them, so I told them to send another jacket which had arrived in the first order, which was actually $10 cheaper than the item I wanted to return to them. However, I also made sure to tell them that I would never order anything from them again. I honestly don’t understand why such companies are so manipulative, because I am sure that they lose customers like me pretty frequently.

To you ladies who are considering purchasing clothing from Bella Barnett, BEWARE!

Dell Computers? Never Again.

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© virtosmedia, 123RF Free Images

Back in late August of 2019, I purchased a Dell laptop computer after doing extensive research to determine what the best laptop would be for my needs. I used the computer with no issues until late September of 2021, which was one month after the warranty expired. Basically, my computer would not start up, so I contacted Dell technical support and was informed that I would have to pay for of warranty charges to have the unit repaired. The IO/daughter board and main logic board had to be replaced, and the operating system reinstalled, which wiped out everything I had stored on the device. Then by the end of October of that year, the battery died and I had to purchase a new one.

It didn’t surprise me when the Dell laptop could not be booted up on December 19th, 2022, because I was already wary of its reliability based on what had happened in 2021. The following day, I called Dell and was literally scolded for having a computer which had no active warranty, but I insisted on getting some assistance, and was transferred to tech support. The technician initially believed it was a software issue, and informed me that once I paid a $99 fee for the software installation, he would arrange to call me the following day to assist me in installing the software. The technician failed to call me on the 21st, and there was no call on the 22nd, so I called Dell on the 23rd inquiring about the scheduled software installation.

A Dell technician assisted me during that call and attempted to have the software installed, but determined that the issue was with the hardware, not the software. He informed me that I would be refunded the $99 I had paid previously, but that I had to pay a separate $59 for the shipping box to be sent to me, and that the payment had to be made through a link in an email which would be sent to me. I agreed to this and clicked on the email once it was sent over, only to discover that Dell completely butchered my shipping address and phone number. When I called to inform them of this, they told me the mistakes could not be corrected via phone, thus leading me on a wild goose chase in which I had to send numerous emails to rectify the situation.

When I received the shipping box in which my laptop would be sent to Dell, I noticed that the manner in which my shipping address had been corrected was with a Sharpie marker. I reluctantly sent the computer to Dell and waited for the diagnostic team to ferret out the problem with my system. I finally received an email on January 6th informing me that the hard drive had to be replaced, and the driver and operating system had to be reinstalled, meaning that I once again would lose all data on the computer. I was prepared to pay for the repairs, but I was unable to authorize the work without informing Dell that once again, my shipping address and phone number were incorrect. What then ensued was a stream of emails between Dell and me in which someone from Dell would partially correct my address, then when I indicated that the address was still incorrect, the person changed my address back to the completely incorrect one. This occurred THREE TIMES, and when the address was finally corrected, my phone number was changed back to an incorrect number. It drove me completely batty. The idiots at Dell actually were trying to reach me by phone, but guess what? They were attempting to call me via the incorrect phone number!

By that point I had already ordered another laptop (an HP) because I just didn’t trust the reliability of the Dell laptop which was being repaired. I received my repaired Dell laptop in late January, then noticed that I had never received the $99 credit from December 20th, so I called Dell again, unprepared for the nightmare call which would transpire. I was on the phone for over an hour, and was transferred FOUR TIMES. On top of that, three of the individuals I spoke with mentioned that I was out of warranty, as if that was a pertinent fact in my pursuit of the refund which they owed me. When I was transferred to the fourth representative, I told him that I never received any refund, to which he replied that he had record of it being received, and that my bank was wrong, then hung up on me without even saying goodbye. I was livid.

I ended up having to get my bank involved, and finally received the $99 refund in February. Incidentally, the bank was NOT wrong, Dell was.

All of my experiences with Dell have been so upsetting that I will never purchase a Dell product ever again. The incompetence and rudeness of the representatives I spoke with was astounding, and to be honest, the repaired Dell laptop is little more than a paperweight at this point.