Category life

Naturally Gray

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When the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the world in early 2020, it disrupted nearly every aspect of daily life—including personal grooming routines. For many women, the closure of hair salons meant they could no longer maintain their regular appointments for root touch-ups or color treatments. Suddenly, the choice to hide gray hair was taken out of their hands. For some, this was initially a distressing situation, especially in a society that has long associated gray hair in women with aging, invisibility, or a lack of vitality.

However, something unexpected happened. As the weeks turned into months, and the pandemic dragged on, many women began to embrace the gray. What started out as a necessity slowly evolved into a movement. Social media played a huge role, with women posting photos of their “silver linings” and sharing their journeys of going gray—roots growing out, transitions in color, and emotional realizations along the way. Hashtags like #grombre (gray + ombré), #grayhairdontcare, and #silversisters began trending, creating a virtual support network that celebrated authenticity over convention.

For many women, going gray became symbolic of something much bigger. It represented a rejection of unrealistic beauty standards and the freedom to age on their own terms. It was an act of self-acceptance and empowerment. Some women shared how liberating it felt to stop covering something that was natural and beautiful. Others described how they felt more themselves than they had in years—bold, honest, and unfiltered.

This shift was about more than hair color; it was about autonomy. In a time of uncertainty, women reclaimed control over something deeply personal. They no longer felt pressured to hide a part of themselves just to conform to societal norms. As a result, what started as a temporary break from salon visits became, for many, a permanent transformation—not just in appearance, but in mindset.

As for my personal hair color journey during the pandemic, I was already so accustomed to coloring my gray roots at home every two weeks that it did not bother me one bit that I wasn’t able to visit a salon. In addition, the hairdresser who had been doing my hair during that time worked out of her home, so the interruption in professional hair care services was very brief for me. However, I was so inspired by the women who were daring enough to go naturally gray that I briefly considered traveling down the same path.

What stopped me was the realization that any lighter hair color looks truly bizarre on me, whether it be blonde, gray or white. I have verified this over the years by donning blonde and platinum white wigs, only to cringe in horror. Last month, I applied a gray hair color paste on my hair and took photos, then washed the stuff away. One friend thought it looked cool and suggested that I sort of resembled Storm, but that certainly wasn’t enough for me to consider leaving the temporary color in my hair for more than a few minutes.

Here I am with a temporary gray hair paste

If you have ever considered going naturally gray, I have listed pros and cons of such a decision below.

🌟 Pros of Going Naturally Gray

1. Authenticity and Self-Acceptance
Allowing gray hair to come in can be a bold statement of self-acceptance and confidence. It signals a refusal to conform to ageist beauty standards and an embrace of one’s natural evolution.

2. Healthier Hair
Frequent coloring, especially with harsh dyes, can damage hair over time. Going gray allows the hair to recover its natural texture, strength, and integrity.

3. Financial Savings
Salon visits for color treatments can be costly. Eliminating this routine saves both money and time—no more constant root touch-ups.

4. Time and Convenience
Gray hair maintenance often requires less frequent upkeep compared to colored hair. Once the transition is complete, you’re no longer on a schedule.

5. It Can Look Stunning
Natural gray or silver hair can be incredibly striking. When properly cared for, it can be glossy, elegant, and eye-catching. Many women find that it enhances their features and gives a sophisticated, modern edge.

6. Social Shifting
There’s a growing movement encouraging women to defy beauty norms. Embracing gray can connect you to a supportive community and help challenge outdated societal expectations.

⚠️ Cons of Going Naturally Gray

1. Societal Judgment and Ageism
Women are often judged more harshly than men for visible signs of aging. Going gray can provoke unsolicited comments or subtle discrimination, especially in professional environments.

2. Confidence Rollercoaster
The transition period—when roots are growing in—can be tough. Many women feel awkward or less attractive during this in-between phase.

3. Maintenance Doesn’t Disappear Entirely
While you’re not dyeing your hair anymore, gray hair often has a different texture and can be more coarse, wiry, or dry. It may require new types of products to look its best, including purple shampoos to combat yellowing.

4. Perceived Loss of Youthfulness
Some women feel that gray hair makes them look or feel older than they are, and may worry about losing their youthful edge or romantic appeal.

5. Not All Grays Are Created Equal
Gray hair doesn’t always come in beautifully silver. It may be patchy, dull, or uneven, and not everyone ends up with that sleek silver fox look.

Today, the visibility of gray-haired women in media, fashion, and public life continues to grow. The pandemic may have forced the change, but what followed was a grassroots movement of women stepping into their power, embracing their natural beauty, and redefining what it means to age gracefully.

Final Thought:

Going gray is not about “giving up”—it’s often about reclaiming control. For some women, coloring their hair helps them feel vibrant and polished. For others, letting it go natural is a power move toward freedom and authenticity. Neither path is superior—it’s about what makes you feel most confident in your skin.

My Mom’s Mother’s Day Visit

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This past Mother’s Day was punctuated by two strange and special incidents, the first of which occurred about an hour after a floral arrangement I had ordered was delivered to my mother’s gravesite in Hawaii. I was in the midst of cleaning my home and getting ready for a trip to Hawaii in order to put my mom’s sister Alice to rest in the same grave with my mother’s cremains. While I was cleaning, I heard something fall to the floor, so I looked in the direction of the noise to find out what had fallen. A high school English composition book which has sat propped up decoratively on one of my bookshelves was on the floor, but the manner in which it had fallen, as well as the trajectory in which it fell off the shelf, was very odd.

I was nowhere near the bookcase from which the book had fallen, so the disruption lacked logical explanation. The book had been my mother’s, a textbook she had used while in high school. She had given it to me when I was a child, thinking that I would enjoy having it, and told me that she thought it was ridiculous that the book had been published 16 years prior to when she used it as a textbook (primarily due to budget constraints from the Great Depression and World War 2). Since the textbook was published the year my mom was born (1932), I always felt that the book was a representation of her, since it was as old as her.

When the book fell, it somehow flew in an arc over a nearby etagere, a movement which defied the laws of physics. In addition, it fell face up, which made no sense from the position it was in when it was on the shelf. I picked up the book, and instantly felt my mom’s presence around me. I thought to myself, wow, my mom is finally here to visit. It was a very special moment, but since I had more cleaning to do, I put the book back on the shelf and continued to clean.

About an hour after the book incident, I went up to my bedroom to clean it. When I walked into the room, I saw that the ihai or spirit tablet from my mom’s funeral was turned sharply to the left so that the front of the tablet was facing the window. None of my cats had been in my room the entire time I was cleaning, so I absolutely knew that my mom was once again communicating with me. I was stunned, since my mother’s spirit hadn’t paid me a visit since her death in June of 2023.

I’d love to hear the stories of others who might have experienced similar visits from departed family members!

Scented Candle Love

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A new favorite, Bergamot Tangerine from APOTHEKE

Luxury scented candles have a special way of enhancing a space that goes beyond just fragrance. They offer an affordable touch of indulgence—unlike many other luxury items, a well-made candle can be had without breaking the bank, yet it delivers a surprisingly rich sensory experience. As someone who enjoys scented candles from brands such as Voluspa, Archipelago Botanicals, APOTHEKE, and Nest, I know firsthand how affordable they are, as well as how much joy they bring me.

When lit, scented candles create an immediate shift in ambience. The flickering flame casts a soft, warm light that’s both calming and flattering, making any room feel more intimate and inviting. The scent adds another layer—evoking emotions, memories, or simply providing a gentle background aroma that makes a space feel cared for and curated. Whether it’s a woodsy blend, burst of fruit, or a complex and inviting floral, the right fragrance can transform a mundane evening into a soothing ritual. I light candles on a daily basis, and base my candle selection on what kind of mood I am in, as well as what kind of weather we are experiencing. For example, today was a warm, sunny day, so I opted for a refreshing grapefruit candle, and since it was in a smaller vessel, I opted to place it on my candle warmer instead of lighting it. Later tonight, after it gets dark, I will light a candle which fits my mood, settle onto the sofa in the living room, and enjoy the beautiful glow and inviting fragrance of the lit candle.

There’s also a practical bonus: by using candles for light, especially in the evening, you can reduce reliance on harsh electric lighting. This not only contributes to a more relaxing atmosphere but also supports energy conservation. It’s a small but meaningful gesture toward sustainability—proof that luxury and eco-consciousness don’t have to be at odds.

Pre-Need Burial Arrangements

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A glimpse of what will be my final resting place

Making pre-need burial arrangements for yourself is one of the most thoughtful and responsible decisions you can make for your loved ones. While it’s not always easy to think about end-of-life matters, planning ahead offers peace of mind, ensures your wishes are honored, and eases the emotional and financial burden on your family during a very difficult time.

I have personally put everything in place for my final disposition after I die, and it gives me a great sense of relief to know that I have taken care of arrangements in advance. From the cremation arrangements, including purchase of the urn (which sits in my closet), to paying for rights for the burial plot, to paying for interment and the name plaque, I have made arrangements so that there will be no question about my final wishes. No one will have to scramble to find a cemetery plot or take care of any of the aspects of final disposition when I leave this earth.

In addition to my own pre-need arrangements, I had made pre-need arrangements for both my mother and my Aunt Alice. It made a huge difference in the stress levels I dealt with when they both passed, because I didn’t have to worry about where they were going to be buried, etc. Trust me when I say that grief makes everything related to ironing out the details for a funeral so much more difficult. I still had a number of expenses for both my mother and my aunt which weren’t anticipated when pre-need arrangements were made, but at least I didn’t have to start from square one.

Why Pre-Need Burial Arrangements Matter

  1. Reduces Emotional Stress on Loved Ones When someone passes away, their family is often overwhelmed with grief. Having to make funeral and burial decisions—often within a short period of time—can be incredibly stressful. By making pre-need arrangements, you remove much of that pressure. Your family won’t have to guess what you would have wanted or make difficult decisions while grieving.
  2. Ensures Your Wishes Are Carried Out Pre-planning gives you the chance to decide exactly how you want to be remembered. From choosing between burial or cremation, to selecting a cemetery plot, casket, or even music for a service—these choices are yours to make, and pre-planning ensures your wishes will be known and respected.
  3. Prevents Family Disputes When plans aren’t clearly laid out, disagreements can arise among family members. Some might interpret your wishes differently, leading to conflict. Having everything documented in advance eliminates confusion and potential conflict.
  4. Financial Benefits Many funeral homes offer the option to pre-pay for services at today’s prices. In addition, many funeral homes also provide interest-free financing so that you can pay the balance over time. This can save money over time, especially considering the rising costs of funeral services. It also protects your family from unexpected financial burdens and lets them focus on healing rather than worrying about costs.

What Needs to Be Done in Advance

  • Choose a Funeral Home: Research and select a funeral home that you trust. Speak with a funeral director about pre-need options.
  • Decide on Burial or Cremation: Make your preference clear. If burial, choose a cemetery and possibly a specific plot. If cremation, consider what should be done with your ashes.
  • Select Specific Services: Choose the type of service (religious, secular, military honors, etc.), music, speakers, and any personal touches you’d like.
  • Choose a Casket or Urn: You can select and even purchase these in advance to ensure they reflect your taste and budget.
  • Prepare Legal Documentation: Write out your wishes in a pre-need contract, and if applicable, make sure it aligns with your will or estate plan.
  • Communicate With Loved Ones: Let your family know your plans, where the documents are stored, and any contact info for the funeral home or service provider.

How It Helps Loved Ones

  • Gives Them Clarity: They don’t have to wonder what you would have wanted.
  • Provides Relief: They’re spared from making many decisions at an emotional time.
  • Supports Grieving: With logistics handled, they have more time and space to process their loss.
  • Avoids Financial Stress: Pre-paid arrangements or even just having a clear plan in place helps loved ones avoid unplanned expenses.

In the end, pre-need burial planning is a final act of love—a way of saying, “I’ve taken care of this so you don’t have to.” It brings comfort, direction, and peace of mind to those you leave behind, and it ensures your final wishes are honored just as you intended.

Don’t Touch!

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It is never appropriate for a man — or anyone, for that matter — to touch a woman’s body, including her legs or butt, without her clear, enthusiastic consent. This isn’t just about “manners” or “boundaries”; it’s about basic human dignity, respect, and the right each person has to autonomy over their own body.

Invasion of a Woman’s Body

Touching someone without consent is a violation. It’s not a compliment, not a joke, and not excusable because of a friendship or past closeness. A woman’s body is her own, not an object to be touched at someone else’s whim. When a man puts his hands on her without permission — even if they’re “close friends” — it invades her personal space, disrespects her autonomy, and communicates a total disregard for her comfort and her right to say what happens to her body.

Disrespect and Objectification

When a man touches a woman’s body without consent — especially in a sexual or suggestive way, like grabbing her butt — he is objectifying her. He is reducing her to something that exists for his pleasure or amusement. That kind of behavior says: “Your body is here for me to use,” whether consciously intended or not.

It’s not about affection or connection — it’s about power and control. It disregards who she is as a person and treats her like a thing. Even if they’re friends, even if she’s never said anything before, it’s not okay. Silence is not consent, and familiarity doesn’t equal permission.

The Impact

For the woman, it can be confusing, infuriating, violating, and dehumanizing — especially when it comes from someone she trusts. It can make her feel unsafe in spaces where she should feel secure, like among friends. It sends the message that her comfort, safety, and agency don’t matter.

The Responsibility

It is every person’s responsibility to respect others’ boundaries, and that starts with recognizing that touching someone without permission is a form of disrespect and harm. Being close friends doesn’t mean you get a “pass.” Respect is not situational — it’s foundational.

Touch is not harmless if it’s not wanted. Just because you don’t mean anything by it doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean something to the person you’re touching. The intention does not erase the impact.

Wanting to talk about this openly is important — especially because it’s not just about one action. It’s about the culture that normalizes the objectification of women and teaches some men that entitlement is acceptable if it’s dressed up as “playfulness” or “friendship.” But real friendship is rooted in respect.

How Menopause Messes With Our Hair

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Women who have gone through menopause typically experience striking changes in hair texture, which can quite frankly, be distressing. For those of you who didn’t know about menopausal hair changes, be afraid. Be very afraid. Because your hair texture will morph into something you won’t understand or find very manageable.

My hair before the waves kicked in…

When a woman reaches menopause, hormonal changes can lead to noticeable differences in hair texture, volume, and growth patterns. While hair thinning and loss are commonly discussed, another fascinating change is how hair texture can become curlier or more unruly. On a personal note, my hair went from being almost arrow straight to having a pronounced wave, which makes it look like I had braided my hair and then let the crimps remain after unraveling the braid. I fight this new waviness by flat ironing my hair, because I just can’t stand the look. The waves became intense for a while (see pic below), then settled down a bit once I reached 57.

There are several scientific explanations which help account for the changes in hair texture during menopause:

1. Hormonal Changes and Hair Texture

Estrogen and progesterone, two key hormones that regulate many aspects of a woman’s body, play an important role in hair growth and structure. Before menopause, these hormones help maintain the hair growth cycle, ensuring strong and healthy strands. As estrogen and progesterone levels decline, their regulatory effect diminishes, which can lead to changes in the shape and structure of hair.

At the same time, androgen (male hormone) levels remain relatively stable or increase in comparison, which can influence hair follicles in several ways:

  • Some women experience hair thinning or miniaturization, particularly along the crown.
  • Androgen dominance may alter the activity of sebaceous (oil) glands, affecting hair texture.
  • Hair strands may become drier, more brittle, or coarser.

2. Changes in the Hair Follicle and Muscle Relaxation

One lesser-discussed but compelling explanation involves changes in the follicular muscle layer—specifically, the arrector pili muscle, a tiny muscle attached to each hair follicle. This muscle plays a role in the positioning of the follicle in the scalp.

  • During menopause, the arrector pili muscle may weaken or relax due to hormonal shifts, particularly as estrogen levels drop.
  • When this muscle relaxes, it can cause the hair follicle to shift at a different angle.
  • A change in the follicle’s orientation may lead to hair emerging in a more curved or spiral pattern, making previously straight or wavy hair appear curlier.

3. Structural Changes in the Hair Shaft

The cross-sectional shape of the hair shaft is a major determinant of hair texture. Straight hair typically has a round cross-section, whereas curly hair has a more oval or flattened shape.

  • Hormonal shifts can influence keratin production, the protein that makes up hair.
  • Changes in keratin bonding patterns could contribute to an altered hair structure, making it curlier or frizzier.
  • Hair may also become thinner in diameter, which can enhance the appearance of curls or waves.

4. Aging and Changes in Scalp Health

The scalp itself undergoes changes with age, including:

  • Reduced blood flow to hair follicles, which affects nutrient delivery.
  • Changes in oil production, leading to drier hair that may behave differently.
  • A shift in collagen and elastin levels in the skin, which might indirectly impact follicle positioning and hair texture.

The waves in my hair tend to look more like this, but I have a lot of frizz right after washing my hair. Thank goodness for flat irons!

Conclusion

Menopause brings a variety of changes to hair due to the interplay of hormonal fluctuations, follicular shifts, and changes in scalp and hair fiber structure. While some women may experience thinning, others may find their hair becoming curlier or more textured due to follicle repositioning, muscle relaxation, and shifts in keratin structure. Understanding these changes can help women adjust their hair care routines to maintain healthy, manageable hair during and after menopause.

Indoor Plants Are Good For You

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As an avid plant lover, I have enjoyed the many benefits of being surrounded by beautiful greenery in my home. I honestly believe that having indoor houseplants offers a multitude of benefits. Here’s a closer look at why incorporating greenery into your home is a great idea:

Health Benefits

  1. Improved Air Quality – Many houseplants, such as spider plants and snake plants, help remove toxins like formaldehyde and benzene from the air, creating a cleaner living environment. I have several snake plants (Sansevieria genus) in my home, and appreciate the fact that they clean the air while looking very attractive and interesting.
  2. Increased Oxygen Levels – Plants release oxygen during photosynthesis, which can improve air circulation and overall respiratory health.
  3. Humidity Regulation – Plants release moisture through transpiration, which can help maintain healthy humidity levels, reducing issues like dry skin and irritated sinuses. I also help my plants out by running two humidifiers in my den and kitchen to optimize plant functions.
  4. Reduced Allergens – Some plants, like peace lilies, can trap dust and allergens, helping those with sensitivities breathe easier.
  5. Stress Reduction & Lower Blood Pressure – Studies have shown that being around greenery can help lower stress levels and even contribute to reduced blood pressure. When I am in my home, I truly feel like I am in a garden paradise, and I feel instantly calm.

Decor Benefits

  1. Aesthetic Appeal – Houseplants add natural beauty to any room, complementing different interior design styles. I make sure to stage my plants in such a way that they make sense in my interior living space, without sacrificing their ambient light needs.
  2. Versatility in Design – Whether you want a bold statement piece like a fiddle-leaf fig or a subtle accent like a small succulent, there’s a plant to match every space.
  3. Enhanced Space Perception – Large plants can fill empty corners, creating a fuller and more inviting atmosphere. If I lived in a larger home, I would definitely have tall plants strategically placed in empty corners.
  4. Seasonal Adaptability – Unlike furniture or decor that can feel outdated, plants offer a timeless appeal and can be rearranged easily for a fresh look.
  5. Brings Nature Indoors – For those in urban settings, houseplants help create a connection to nature, bringing an element of the outdoors inside.

The desk sentinels around my workspace

Mood Benefits

  1. Boosted Mental Well-Being – Studies suggest that caring for plants can reduce anxiety and depression, providing a sense of accomplishment and responsibility. I know that I have a responsibility to keep my plants as healthy as possible, and I make an effort to address their needs on a weekly basis.
  2. Increased Productivity & Focus – Plants in workspaces have been shown to enhance concentration and creativity, making them great additions to home offices. There are plants all around my desk space, and I absolutely love them.
  3. Better Sleep – Certain plants, like lavender and jasmine, have calming properties that promote relaxation and better sleep. I only wish I could keep such plants alive in my home! Instead, I use scented candles to impart a calming mood.
  4. Mood Elevation – Simply looking at greenery can evoke feelings of happiness and tranquility, making plants a natural mood booster.
  5. Encourages Mindfulness – Watering, pruning, and tending to plants can be a meditative and mindful practice, helping people slow down and enjoy the present moment. Despite the fact that my weekly plant watering is a bit of a chore, I find myself getting into a zone which is meditative and beneficial.

Final Thoughts

Houseplants do much more than just decorate a space—they contribute to better air quality, reduce stress, and create a soothing ambiance. Whether you’re looking for a productivity boost, improved well-being, or a stylish home upgrade, adding indoor plants is a simple yet impactful way to enhance your living environment.

Use Special Occasion Items NOW

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Here’s the stunning emerald gown from New York Dress which I decided NOT to hide in my closet. I wore it to a Magic Castle event and felt fabulous in it!

We often save our best outfits, fancy dinnerware, expensive perfumes, or special accessories for some elusive “perfect occasion,” but the truth is—life itself is the special occasion. My mom was notorious for buying fancy items and keeping them in their original boxes, unpacked, unused, and unappreciated, which is the main reason why I have rebelled against that attitude. I’d rather enjoy something I love, instead of allowing it to collect dust, forgotten and hidden. Here’s why it’s a great idea to wear and use what we love instead of waiting:

1. Life is Unpredictable

We never know what tomorrow holds. Holding onto things for a day that may never come means we might never actually enjoy them. Why not make today the day? My mom had bought many “special occasion” dresses back in the early 1960’s which she never wore, even up until she sustained cerebral injury in 2004. It was incredibly painful for me to put most of those items in liquidation, because I knew my mom regretted not having worn them. There were a few items which I was able to wear, and when I told my mom that I had worn them, she was thrilled.

2. Feeling Good Elevates Your Mood

Wearing that beautiful dress or those stylish shoes isn’t just about looks—it’s about how they make you feel. When we dress well and use things that bring us joy, our confidence and happiness naturally increase. Every time I slip on a gorgeous gown or fancy shoes, I love how I feel in them, and I am always happy when I can attend an event clad in them.

3. Enjoyment is Meant for Now

We sometimes treat luxury as something to be earned or reserved for rare occasions. But why delay joy? Every day is an opportunity to feel a little special. One example of this is when I had purchased a couple of rare bottles of wine and cellared them for a future special occasion. I waited over 10 years to enjoy them, but I didn’t realize that the wines had been subjected to some unexpected weather extremes during power outages. When I finally opened these wines, they were beyond their time for drinkability.

4. Items Can Deteriorate Over Time

Clothes can go out of style, perfumes can lose their scent, and even fine china can gather dust and weaken. If we wait too long, we may never get to fully enjoy them. I have personal experience with holding onto shoes I rarely wore for decades, which literally fell apart once I decided to wear them. Because I had decided to store those shoes in the garage, the temperature extremes caused the adhesive used in construction of the shoes to break down. It has been heartbreaking to be forced to throw shoes away, simply because I hadn’t stored them properly and also had forgotten about them.

5. Memories Are Created in the Everyday

That gorgeous dress shouldn’t just be associated with one or two events—it should be part of your life story. Imagine looking back and remembering how often you felt fabulous just because you wanted to. I have gotten so much better about wearing the items I love as much as I want, instead of trying to preserve them. What’s the point of having nice things if you can’t enjoy them?

6. It Changes Your Mindset

When we stop waiting for a “special moment” and start treating everyday life as special, we develop a more grateful and joyful outlook. I have become the type of person who will light the fancy candles, wear the fancy boots, wear my mom’s vintage jewelry, and drink the finer wines without waiting for a special occasion to approach. It has been liberating and highly enjoyable to adopt such a mindset.

7. You Deserve It

You bought that dress, that perfume, that fancy watch—why deny yourself their enjoyment? You don’t need an excuse to treat yourself well. Last year, I made sure to write a message to myself which is near my desk, which says “I deserve it”, and I absolutely and completely believe that. No longer will I deprive myself of the things I enjoy, especially after what I have seen with my mother not being able to enjoy her beloved items.

So, wear the outfit, use the fancy dishes, light the expensive candle. Make today a celebration just because you’re alive. 🎉

Living Alone Is Underrated

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Having a space to yourself isn’t just a luxury—it can become a necessity for mental well-being, peace, and autonomy. When you share a living space with someone who doesn’t contribute, the weight of responsibility falls on you, turning your home into a place of frustration rather than rest. This became glaringly apparent with my most recent roommate situation, when I put up with this person’s complete refusal to participate in household cleaning, household repairs, or the purchase of paper and cleaning products which we both used.

I spent 3 years harboring frustration over having to deal with areas my roommate had sullied and selfishly left for me to clean, making me feel like a live-in housekeeper. Then I had surgery in January of this year, and was unable to come home for two weeks. When I returned home, I noticed that my roommate had taken the liberty of rearranging my dining room table, and had also completely taken over my side of the refrigerator. Although I promptly put the furniture pieces back to their original orientation and put my food back on my side of the fridge, I was perturbed. What I didn’t know was that she was planning to give notice that she was moving out. I guess she figured that since she would be leaving, she could encroach upon my fridge space and move my furniture around. That was the last straw for me, so I was actually relieved when she gave her 30 days’ notice.

At a certain point, the financial strain of living alone is worth the trade-off for personal freedom. You get to set your own rules, maintain the level of cleanliness that keeps you comfortable, and decorate in a way that truly feels like home. You don’t have to tiptoe around someone else’s bad habits or pick up their slack. There’s no awkward conversations, no unspoken resentment—just the quiet relief of knowing everything is exactly how you left it.

Peace of mind is priceless. Sure, budgeting might be tighter, but waking up in a space that is yours—where you don’t have to compromise on cleanliness, noise levels, or household responsibilities—makes all the difference. Sometimes, the real cost of a cheap living situation is your own sanity.

Agreeing To Disagree

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Agreeing to disagree is an important skill in maintaining healthy relationships, especially with friends and family. In any close relationship, differing opinions are inevitable—whether about politics, religion, parenting styles, or even small things like movie preferences. The ability to respect these differences without letting them ruin a relationship is a sign of emotional maturity and mutual respect. This skill seems to have become incredibly valuable in recent years, mostly as a result of tectonic shifts in politics and socioeconomic affairs.

However, when someone writes you off just because you have a different opinion, it can be deeply hurtful and damaging. It sends the message that your relationship was conditional—based not on love, shared history, or mutual respect, but on intellectual or ideological alignment. This kind of behavior fosters division, resentment, and isolation. Instead of promoting understanding, it encourages an “us vs. them” mentality, where people surround themselves only with those who reinforce their own beliefs.

There are numerous people in my personal life who have recently made certain assumptions about my religious and political views, some of which were accurate, others which were way off the mark. What’s frustrating is that I have felt like I was silenced due to the fact that some individuals assumed I held a specific belief, which was the stark opposite of my stance. It’s downright disappointing to know that I have to keep my mouth shut around such individuals in an effort to protect our friendship ties.

Healthy relationships require space for disagreement. They thrive on open dialogue, patience, and the ability to see the bigger picture—that a person is more than just their opinions. It’s possible to strongly disagree with someone and still love and respect them. Writing someone off just because they see the world differently diminishes the complexity of human beings and reduces them to a single viewpoint.