Category General

Ignore The Haters! An Article For Those Who Compete

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Original post can be found at http://www.rxmuscle.com/rx-girl-articles/9306-ignore-the-haters.html

ignore-the-hatersMany of you ladies are well acquainted with the rigors of contest prep and understand the level of intensity and commitment required. Some of you are fortunate enough to have a great support network in which partners, family, coworkers and friends are in your cheering section and encourage all of your efforts. Unfortunately, however, some competitors may have to deal with people who discourage them or in some fashion try to interfere with their prep. I have heard husbands complain that their wives spend too much time in the gym or cannot eat restaurant meals with them. A few of my clients have lamented that family members or friends actually got angry with them for training so hard or for being so driven. The less the hater knows about the world of bodybuilding, the harsher the criticism becomes, usually as a result of ignorance and the perpetuation of erroneous stereotypes about bodybuilding.

I once had a client who almost talked herself out of competing as a reaction to her ultra-conservative mother’s opinion of bodybuilding contests. Her mother was horrified by the idea that women actually got onstage in bikinis and was deeply resistant to the idea of her daughter doing such a thing. It did not matter that her daughter was in her 30’s with children of her own. What was so sad was that everyone else in my client’s life was supportive and encouraging. For once this woman was paying attention to herself instead of doling out her energy to her spouse, children and parents, and it met with resistance.

Another frequent complaint, and one which I have heard personally, is one in which the loved one bitches about how stupid it seems to chase after a national qualification, IFBB Pro Card or Olympia qualification. Those who do not compete cannot fully appreciate the reasons competitors have to reach for that carrot. The drive is deep and in most cases incredibly personal. There is no question that competing can be extremely expensive, and it can be very frustrating to deal with less than stellar placings which push us to do more contests in order to reach our goals. It is also true that the allure of a Pro Card can fool some competitors into thinking that attaining Pro status will deliver much more than acceptance into the prestigious IFBB ranks (such as supplement company contracts, magazine covers, etc.). However, if you are realistic and are pursuing the next level of achievement for your own personal reasons, then declare that when someone tries to criticize you. My advice is to dig your heels in and fight for your right to do something that is inspiring and empowering.

You may have people in your life who believe that you are getting too ripped and muscular. Invariably the people who make such remarks are not weightlifters, so they do not understand the mentality of those who lift and thus are not comfortable with the idea of building and sculpting muscle. If you are in a bulking phase, your appearance can be especially jarring for those who do not appreciate muscle, and the negative comments are likely to increase in frequency. It’s no surprise that those of us who compete tend to hang out with other lifters in an effort to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who can relate to what we go through and who won’t fling negative comments about our muscularity or vascularity our way.

Perhaps you only deal with minimal criticism but still have trouble processing it. I know that the majority of you who compete have been in situations where family, friends or coworkers have tried to convince you to abandon your strict meal plan, telling you that “just this once” won’t hurt you. They may even resort to accusing you of being a stick in the mud for not caving into peer pressure. It is at times like these that you need to remind yourself of your goals and that adherence to your meal plan is an insurance plan to being on point when contest day arrives. You know that every time you fall off the wagon, so to speak, you jeopardize everything you have spent the past few weeks or months to build. Why do yourself such a disservice only to appease others? Do not bother yourself with what they think, because it is not worth it.

Consider the reasons why you compete and what kind of satisfaction you get from competing. Are you really going to let the people in your life drag you down and criticize you for doing something that you enjoy? Remember that your journey is not only about physical transformation, it is also spiritual. You are all grown women with minds of your own, so STAND YOUR GROUND!

Why Being Single Sucks

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Though I will never advocate staying in a relationship in which you are miserable for the sake of being in a relationship, I have always been relationship-minded. I am programmed to devote my time and energy to one man and am puzzled by people who can play the field without any difficulty. To me it is like eating a bunch of different foods at an all-you-can-eat buffet where there are so many choices that you never really savor the flavor of anything. Dating is so random, rather empty, and can often feel more like an interview than a social interaction.
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I have been single since April and have hated every minute of it. I hadn’t realized how ridiculously high my standards were until I gave some thought recently to the essential criteria which anyone who would spark my interest enough to date would need to possess. Such pondering has made me believe that the men I would gravitate towards only exist in fairy tales. How could I possibly find someone VERY fit (as in fitness model level or above), VERY attractive, tall, preferably younger, financially secure, geographically close, possessed of decent values, devoted, honest, interesting, affectionate, attentive without being clingy, chivalrous, generous, protective, open to a lifelong commitment, interested in attending fitness and bodybuilding events with me, who truly understands what clean eating is and who won’t sabotage my efforts to prep for shoots or contests? I would say that is a very tall order!

Another thing that runs through my mind is that it is very difficult for me to dine out, especially if I am prepping for a contest. Most restaurant fare is out for me. I am also amazed by how much alcohol some people like to consume during a dinner, and I find it horrifying. I wonder if the guy really needs all that booze to disinhibit himself, and I also become wary that such a man may become presumptuous at the end of the dinner and make an idiot out of himself by making some sort of overt and unwelcome pass at me. Besides, my cheat meals are few and far between, so there is no way I could fill my social calendar while also following a clean meal plan. My fitness goals are far more important than succumbing to peer pressure at a restaurant with someone I barely know!

Being in single mode means the interviews will take place and I will have to assess whether a man has any potential with respect to dating. Something tells me I will spend most of my nights in front of the TV alone instead of putting myself out there. I have no desire to potentially endure the dreaded date in which you know within minutes that there is no love connection and must suffer through the duration of the lunch or dinner. I am also not thrilled with the idea of losing time in the evenings when I could be writing articles, doing food prep or working out.

I truly miss being in a relationship. There is nothing better when the relationship is great and you are always made to feel special and loved no matter what. What I miss the most about being in a relationship is snuggling on the couch to watch a movie, waking up next to the man I love, seeing his personal belongings here and there in the house, his smell, his smile, and his kisses. Hopefully the universe will reward me eventually.

Yes It’s True…I Hate Pink

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PinkI hate the color pink with a passion, regardless of whether it’s baby, bubble gum, rose, magenta, hot, blush, fuschia, or any other shade in the pink portion of the spectrum. So it bothers me to no end when people, especially men, assume that every female likes pink and that all females should identify with the color since it is a “girl’s” color. I am not a fan of gender stereotyping and find myself delighted when I hear a woman say she hates pink, or that she refuses to dress her young daughter in pink. Amen to that!

My mother certainly fell under the gender constraints which dictated that her daughter must wear pink, but thankfully she allowed me to assert my personality and hatred of pink in my day to day wear. However, I did not win the battle when it came to my yearly portrait sitting. In fact, there were SEVERAL years in which I was made to wear baby pink chiffon dresses to my portrait sitting. This was utter torture for me, because I felt like a poof of pink cotton candy, ultra-girly and completely unlike the tomboyish girl I was. My mom would point out that I would only have to wear a dreaded pink garment for a few hours, and that pink was SUCH a good color on me. Truth be told, many shades of pink flatter my complexion very well, but the mere sight of pink just turns my stomach and I will not wear it, period.

Some people may regard pink as a happy, calming, comforting color, but to me, it is just plain UGLY. Even with purple, which is one of my favorite colors, any strong leaning towards the pink spectrum and I will choose a different color entirely. I look at pink and I think of Pepto-Bismol and weakness. It is very safe to assume that I will reject anything (that includes clothing, accessories, decor items, etc.) that is pink. I can guarantee that I will never have logos or merchandise which have the color pink in them. It was difficult for me to pick an image for this blogpost because I knew it had to be pink. My hatred of pink is consistent and pervasive.

Pink is NOT for this girl!

Just Because I CAN Open The Door, Doesn’t Mean I Should…

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door-hold-not-quiteI am starting to get very tired of men who are trying to kill the principle of chivalry by abandoning gestures that make a woman feel special and cared for. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I am physically strong with visible muscular development, or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am a mentally strong and independent woman. However, just about every woman I know likes having doors opened for her and having chairs pulled out when she is about to sit down. Call me old-fashioned, but I have always considered such things the mark of a gentleman rather than as a sign of male chauvinism.

Another thing that irks me is when men do not make any move to help if a woman is carrying a bunch of heavy items. Some will even complain that they do not want to be seen as strong men capable of lifting and moving heavy objects because then they feel obligated to help out. When you consider the fact that men outweigh women and have more muscle mass than women, wouldn’t it make sense to offer to help? I have moved 7-1/2 feet tall Noble Firs into the house for Christmas with no help whatsoever, almost throwing my back out in the process. I have also injured my shoulder and wrist when carrying heavy things by myself because men (make that BOYS) were unwilling to help out.

Just to make things very clear, I like having doors opened for me, and I regard offers to help me move items a sign of regard for my safety. I will never take such offers as insults. Men who do such things have manners, something that is seriously lacking in the younger generations.

Taking A Break From Your Phone

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Cell phone technology has become so advanced that we now carry handheld supercomputers with us wherever we go. What I do NOT like about this supposed convenience is that it has enslaved us to the gadgets. Between checking emails, texts, voicemail messages, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram via my phone on a daily basis, I have developed a rather hearty love-hate relationship with the thing. There is also a bit of a damned-if-I-do, damned-if-I-don’t curse which has pervaded my daily life. If I take my phone with me, I get bombarded, and if I leave my phone in the car or at home, I will invariably upset someone by not being readily available as a result.

I remember the good old days when people would call you at home, and if you weren’t available, they left a message which you could return at your convenience. In this instant feedback network we have created, we have become so accustomed to immediate responses that cell phones have become an immense distraction to the natural rhythm of life. In some sense we have sacrificed freedom for convenience, an ironic thing when you think about it. I remember getting my first cell phone and feeling so liberated because I no longer had to worry about people having difficulty getting in touch with me, and for some time it was incredibly convenient. Lately, however, I find myself constantly checking my phone’s buzzing or vibrating to see if the incoming communication is a Facebook email, a Yahoo! email, a text message, a voicemail message, a Tweet, etc. I see others doing the same thing, often to such an extent that they will ignore friends they are congregating with in order to check their phones.

I am very curious to know what all this technology and convenience is doing to our ability to take a break from the day and truly relax. My concern over this has resulted in a daily habit I have which is to put my cell phone on the charger when I come home, set the phone face down, and TAKE A BREAK from it. I am sure the rest of you could do the same without any negative effects. I have no intention of continuing to be encumbered by a Smartphone!

The Importance Of Branding

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426525_530792570284517_479689802_nThe fitness world is packed with people who are trying to make their mark, so it has become increasingly more difficult to stand out in the crowd. Let’s look at the common characteristics among fitness people who are successful. They are all incredibly fit, attractive, photogenic, good with performing on-camera, and have a wide appeal to consumers. But successful fitness people have one very critical quality which they share: they know the importance of BRANDING. It is no surprise that the pool of beautiful, fit people who are scrambling for stardom is considerably large, which makes it vital for fitness people to establish something unique and marketable if they want to rise to the top of the heap.

How does one approach such a task? The first thing to do is to define your main audience. You can look at trends from social media to see who is following you and target the largest group. Then you need to determine what it is about you that grabs that target audience, whether it is your age, your gender, a specific training style, a distinctive look, a great product, etc. Once you have done that, you can use hashtags on social media to describe your unique qualities and to spark the interest of your target audience. If you have a certain key phrase you use all the time, USE IT! It is astonishing how effective using a key phrase can be in promoting your personality.

Make sure you have a website which is updated regularly, and direct your followers to that website whenever possible. Though having a slick website is a nice bonus, it is more important to have SOMETHING for followers to go to, even if it is a free site like Wix. Many people will just shy away from fitness personalities who do not have a site established. There are several website template sites which are decent and which provide all the basics you need. Once you have established your brand, you can always upgrade to a more complex or detailed site.

On another note, I am always surprised by how many people want to establish a foothold in the fitness industry, but do not have business cards. I cannot tell you how unprofessional you look when you are trying to network, only to tell interested parties that you do not have a business card to hand to them. Business cards are pretty inexpensive these days, and in some cases free (Vistaprint.com is one site which offers free cards), so GET ON IT!

A Nibble Here, A Nibble There

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Woman and CookieIt is human nature to allow ourselves little nibbles of so-called “forbidden” foods from time to time. The danger arises when such nibbles become so frequent that a pattern of rationalization over the dietary transgression begins to set in. Bear in mind that even a small indulgence on a regular basis will most likely end up on your waistline. The more control you have over your daily food intake, the greater the chance that you will reach or maintain your fitness and weight loss goals.

Those of you who do not compete can follow a clean diet 90% with the occasional treat and suffer minimal consequences. However, for those of you who are planning on hitting the stage, you need to take your meal plans seriously and follow them as much as possible. Every time you take a small nibble, you risk derailing your contest prep efforts, sometimes enough to push you considerably behind. If you know you are 3 weeks out from a contest, why mess with anything other than your scheduled cheat meal? The best thing to do is tough it out and stick with the program.

condimentsMany competitors ask me about condiments and sauces, and whether it is all right to use them on their meals. What I do not like about many condiments is that they contain high fructose corn syrup. Generally, I have competitors (I also advise the same for regular folks) avoid anything containing sugar at all costs. Another issue with condiments and sauces is that they add more calories to your meal. Add such things to a couple of meals a day, and this all adds up.

I have also had competitors ask me which alcoholic beverages they can indulge in on the weekends. Of course my response is along the lines of “none”, but if one insists on having ONE drink over the weekend, vodka based drinks are the cleanest option. You may be wondering if I indulge in libations from time to time, and the answer is yes. I have a particular fondness for wine and sake. What I do is confine my consumption to one weekend evening per week with my cheat meal. Everything in moderation is truly the key.

No Sense Of Direction

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The advent of Global Positioning Satellite (GPS) navigation has been a godsend, especially for people with poor spatial orientation or sense of direction. Even those like me with adequate directional skills who were getting tired of thumbing through Thomas Guides have been grateful for GPS navigation. As a matter of fact, I can no longer imagine having a car without navigation built into it (thankfully, many car manufacturers are making this feature standard in some car models), and when I travel I make good use of the navigation application on my cell phone.

GPS and BrainHere is what I don’t like about GPS navigation. I don’t think people pay nearly as much attention to where they are going, and instead act sort of like drones as they follow the directions on the navigation system without looking at their surroundings. It is as though the virtual roads are more ingrained in our memories than the actual terrain on which we are traveling. This means that we never fully experience the mental mapping that usually occurs when we are fully aware of our surroundings. In addition, if we make a wrong turn, GPS systems simply recalculate, so we never learn to re-map, and instead blindly follow the adjusted prompts.

While typing this I ran across an excellent article on The Boston Globe site which is a must-read.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2013/08/17/our-brains-pay-price-for-gps/d2Tnvo4hiWjuybid5UhQVO/story.html

Honestly, I think we need to pay more attention to the real world in front of us instead of allowing technology to turn us into idiots. Go ahead and use the GPS, but be aware of your surroundings as you travel around. Your brain will benefit.

What Happened To A Good Old-Fashioned Phone Call?

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smartphonesThese days we walk around with cell phones that are technological marvels, a far cry from the behemoth units from the original mobile phone era. The term “SmartPhone” is an appropriate description for the most part, since Android phones rival the storage capabilities and functions of our laptop computers. We can do Google searches, map out a travel route, check our work schedules, update social media, listen to music, read books and watch movies and videos on our phones now. Residential land lines have become all but obsolete now. Another thing that has become fairly obsolete is the point and shoot camera. Cell phones have such high quality cameras now that there is no reason to have a separate dedicated camera.old-school-cell-phone

Because our phones can do so much, it is not uncommon to see people constantly distracted by their phones. I have actually seen people together at a restaurant, seated at a table, and looking at their phones without speaking to each other at all. I have also witnessed (and been guilty of same) people leave the table to use the restroom and look immediately at their phones, while their meal mates immediately look at their phones as well. Years ago such things would have been regarded as incredibly rude, but are to an extent part of the accepted norm now.

I have also noticed that many people will look at their phones right before going to sleep at night and right upon waking every morning. Whatever happened to looking over at your mate or spending time with your pets? Is your phone more precious than they are? A cell phone should never be the first thing to grab in the morning (though many people have resorted to using their cell phone alarms to wake them up in the mornings) or the last thing they look at in the evening. Cell phones have become a modern-day security blanket.texting on phone

Perhaps the one thing that frustrates me the most is that many people will engage in lengthy text exchanges. If there is a great deal to be said, especially if there is the exchange of a lot of information, or worse yet, a heated argument, it seems to me that speaking on the phone would be much easier and more considerate to the texting partner than continuing to engage in behavior that avoids inflection and a true connection with another human being. In addition, all that texting aggravates the thumbs so much that a medical condition called “Gamekeeper’s Thumb” should at this point be renamed “Texter’s Thumb”. Besides, how real are our communications with each other when we are so busy using abbreviations like “LOL”, “TY”,”OMG”, and emoticons like :-), 😦 and ;-P ?

Come on, guys! You might not remember that your cell phones are equipped to handle voice calls along with all the other nifty features that you allow yourself to get distracted by. Let’s not allow basic communication to break down as a result of being tethered to our cell phones. Girl on phone