The wedding industry is an extremely profitable one, and for good reason. Everyone who has ever fantasized about walking down the aisle has constructed an image of that special day, and women are especially prone to envisioning all the details, from the perfect gown, to the perfect venue, flowers, cake, etc.

I have a problem with elaborate weddings because the expenditure of money is usually so significant that soon-to-be-married couples often risk drowning in debt as a result of that desire to make everything perfect. I am not saying that weddings shouldn’t occur, but I also don’t think it makes sense to spend a ridiculous amount of money on them either. Some couples are sensible about their wedding plans and opt for ceremony, reception and honeymoon plans which won’t break the bank. I have even heard of some couples who have eloped and taken the money that might have been spent on a big wedding and used it as a down payment on a home, which makes FAR more sense to me.

Another red flag which I have noticed among some couples is when couples who haven’t worked out their relationship issues turn to a wedding as a miracle cure for all the strife which they are experiencing. I firmly believe that a couple should regard a wedding as a true celebration of what they have achieved together, instead of as a band-aid or a means of appeasing relatives who are pressuring them to wed. If communication is poor and multiple issues threaten the fabric of a relationship, the stress of planning a wedding will only fan the flames of discord.

Before you assume that I am anti-wedding, let me be clear and reveal that I was married for four years once and loved being married. The only problem was that my husband and I were not the best match for each other. I am on the fence about the idea of remarrying and don’t feel that it is necessary for me to do so. What IS important to me is establishing a great relationship and great communication, regardless of whether a marriage license binds me to a man.