Tag self-respect

Right Hand Rings

drstaceynaito 2 Comments


Pictured above is a Diamond Vintage-Inspired Engagement Ring (1/2 ct. t.w.) in 14k White Gold. This is the ring I wear now.

The trend in right hand rings has increased in popularity over the last fifteen years, because women are embracing it as a way to celebrate their independence and honor themselves. Similar to promise rings, which are also often worn on the right ring finger, right hand rings symbolize a dedication to a goal, a celebration of one’s strength, or an expression of one’s personality.

Though most of the women who opt to purchase right hand rings for themselves are single, a growing number of married woman are purchasing right hand rings for themselves. Right hand rings enable women to proudly display their power and freedom. One advertising campaign uses the slogan,

“Your left hand is a symbol of loyalty. Your right hand is a symbol of freedom.”

I’ve been married, and I have been engaged, so I still regard the left ring finger as sacred. As a matter of fact, I RARELY wear rings on my left ring finger out of respect for my strong belief that the left ring finger is reserved for the bond between two people. However, I have no intention of waiting for a left hand ring to alight once again upon that digit, and it turns out that many women feel the same way, and are purchasing right hand rings, even married ladies.

I had bought a right hand ring back in 2012, but I wasn’t in love with the design, and because I was so resentful of the non-committal man I was with at the time, I didn’t really want to wear it. When it was stolen in 2013, I figured it was meant to be.

Then in early February of this year, I was struck with a sudden urge to get a new right hand ring. It was time to honor myself. I wanted a design which reflected my personality, my taste, and was hoping to find something I absolutely loved, something that made me happy every time I looked at it. I selected a ring which did exactly that, the one that is pictured here on my blog. And it was on sale, for a price which could not be beaten, so I bought it. Little did I know I bought the ring on the crest of a huge breakup, so in a very cosmic way, it was perfect timing.

Exactly one month after I bought my right hand ring, I was completely broadsided by a sudden breakup, the third breakup by the same person in the span of six years. He was planning to move back in. He told me that he was finally ready to make an effort. It was all a lie.

To be honest, I was relieved that I didn’t have to explain my purchase to this guy who I am sure would have berated me for it. It was ridiculous of me to be so apprehensive to reveal my new bauble to someone who let me pay for everything (dinners, trips, gifts, etc.), yet felt he had the right to direct me on how to spend MY money. He never, ever took care of me, but expected me to acquiesce to his every need, and also knew that I would always rescue his pathetic ass.

Now I wear my right hand ring proudly, without fear of being ridiculed. I didn’t know it was considered an engagement ring until I wrote this article, but here’s a thought: I’m never going to break up with myself, and this ring symbolizes my lifelong commitment to myself, my dreams and my goals.

The Social Media T and A Show

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Social media is pretty much here to stay, as evidenced by the worldwide participation which has emerged. Truth be told, it can be fantastic way to build a brand and to advertise products and services. However, social media has also provided very easy access to smut and porn of all degrees (I’m guessing at the extent here, since I have no idea how far that river extends). My belief is that as long as no one is getting hurt or bullied, all is fair and that the more salacious profiles should be able to do their thing. Seriously, if that’s your thing, then rock on.

However, this post is about the so-called “above board” profiles whose admins are young fitness women and men desperate to increase their following by whatever means they can. Here’s my contention: if you are truly a FITNESS person, the occasional selfie which features your ample bosom or buttocks seems reasonable, but if you are littering your Snapchat or Instagram account with images of your big fake twins (either pectoral or down south) and proclaiming that you are just trying to spread the love, you’re not fooling anyone. Guys are surely sending their “love”, and certainly not in a proper or flattering way. Why would you even take pride in growing numbers of followers if you know that you are only building an online spank bank for creeps?

I understand that some men are so creepy that they’ll get off on images of models in bras from a 1954 Sears catalog, but if you are posting pics of yourself bending over bare-assed, you are truly asking for attention from the least savory members of society. And if that’s the case, shame on you. The only value you have when you consistently post scandalous images of your barely-clothed body is as a hot piece of ass, and certainly not someone with any authority or intellectual merit, even if you hold three doctorates and have won a bunch of academic awards.

I’m not saying you can’t be sexy, but there is a lot to be said for leaving something to the imagination. If you are revealing any part of yourself which might only otherwise be revealed behind closed doors to the object of your lust, you’d better think twice about what kind of riff-raff such an image will attract.

A good filter to use when you are thinking of posting an image on social media is to ask yourself, “Would I be okay with my dad/mom/daughter/son/brother/sister/grandpa/grandma seeing this image?” Try not to rationalize the response, but really pay attention to what the image conveys, as well as what kind of audience it will draw in. Another good filter is to ask yourself, “Will I be proud or embarrassed about this image in 5/10/1/20/25/30 years?”

In summary, if you are a fitness person with a social media profile which features a constant display of body parts and crevices which should only be seen by your lover, and which are not in any way related to the porn industry, you might as well switch industries. That is, unless you want to be recognized for something other than your lady humps or your baby-maker!