Right Hand Rings


Pictured above is a Diamond Vintage-Inspired Engagement Ring (1/2 ct. t.w.) in 14k White Gold. This is the ring I wear now.

The trend in right hand rings has increased in popularity over the last fifteen years, because women are embracing it as a way to celebrate their independence and honor themselves. Similar to promise rings, which are also often worn on the right ring finger, right hand rings symbolize a dedication to a goal, a celebration of one’s strength, or an expression of one’s personality.

Though most of the women who opt to purchase right hand rings for themselves are single, a growing number of married woman are purchasing right hand rings for themselves. Right hand rings enable women to proudly display their power and freedom. One advertising campaign uses the slogan,

“Your left hand is a symbol of loyalty. Your right hand is a symbol of freedom.”

I’ve been married, and I have been engaged, so I still regard the left ring finger as sacred. As a matter of fact, I RARELY wear rings on my left ring finger out of respect for my strong belief that the left ring finger is reserved for the bond between two people. However, I have no intention of waiting for a left hand ring to alight once again upon that digit, and it turns out that many women feel the same way, and are purchasing right hand rings, even married ladies.

I had bought a right hand ring back in 2012, but I wasn’t in love with the design, and because I was so resentful of the non-committal man I was with at the time, I didn’t really want to wear it. When it was stolen in 2013, I figured it was meant to be.

Then in early February of this year, I was struck with a sudden urge to get a new right hand ring. It was time to honor myself. I wanted a design which reflected my personality, my taste, and was hoping to find something I absolutely loved, something that made me happy every time I looked at it. I selected a ring which did exactly that, the one that is pictured here on my blog. And it was on sale, for a price which could not be beaten, so I bought it. Little did I know I bought the ring on the crest of a huge breakup, so in a very cosmic way, it was perfect timing.

Exactly one month after I bought my right hand ring, I was completely broadsided by a sudden breakup, the third breakup by the same person in the span of six years. He was planning to move back in. He told me that he was finally ready to make an effort. It was all a lie.

To be honest, I was relieved that I didn’t have to explain my purchase to this guy who I am sure would have berated me for it. It was ridiculous of me to be so apprehensive to reveal my new bauble to someone who let me pay for everything (dinners, trips, gifts, etc.), yet felt he had the right to direct me on how to spend MY money. He never, ever took care of me, but expected me to acquiesce to his every need, and also knew that I would always rescue his pathetic ass.

Now I wear my right hand ring proudly, without fear of being ridiculed. I didn’t know it was considered an engagement ring until I wrote this article, but here’s a thought: I’m never going to break up with myself, and this ring symbolizes my lifelong commitment to myself, my dreams and my goals.

Rings Are My Thing

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Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved rings. They were always my favorite items of jewelry, and would always catch my eye. My mother was aware of my fascination for rings, because every time we went to one particular toy store in a local mall, I would make a beeline for the collection of costume rings which were always by the register. Occasionally, she would tell me to pick one out, and she would buy it for me. I treasured those rings, and still have one crafted of faux aquamarine in a box of collectibles to this day.

My two core teachers during first through third grades (at Montessori, I had the same core teachers for the three years I was there), Miss Umholtz and Mrs. Austin, also loved rings. Miss Umholtz would change things up every week, so that a different group of unique silver rings would adorn her long, slender fingers. On my last day of school at Montessori, Mrs. Austin gave me a gift: a tiny cloisonne heart ring. That ring also sits in my collectibles box, along with the faux aquamarine ring.

As my own personal style began to emerge over the years, I discovered that I preferred wearing many rings at one time over just wearing one or two. By the time I was 20, I adopted the habit of wearing at least 3 rings at a time. The only exception to this was when I was married. During those years, at the stern suggestion of the man I married, I only wore my wedding ring on my left ring finger, and I wore my college ring (which was given to me by my mother) on my right hand. Once my marriage was over, however, my habit of stacking and adding rings slowly but surely crept back.

I now wear between five and seven rings at a time. At one point, before I got married, I wore ELEVEN rings on my fingers. I love the feel of silver or platinum around my fingers. Interesting or unique designs will always catch my eye, especially if they showcase a beautiful stone or crystal. Some of the rings in my collection have such powerful stones in them that I have to be in the right frame of mind to wear them. I also love wearing rings on different digits, like my thumb, or above my knuckles (aka midi rings).

It’s amusing to note that midi rings have become popular recently, because I have been wearing them since the 1990’s, when it was considered a bit odd to wear one. What is a midi ring? It is a ring that is worn between the first and second knuckles. I’ve got news for those of you who think this is a new or relatively new trend: midi rings, or above knuckle rings, have been worn since the Middle Ages. During Renaissance times, wealthy people wore midi rings to indicate that they didn’t have to perform manual labor.

Bernhard Strigel, Portrait of a Woman, ca. 1515

Bernhard Strigel, Portrait of a Woman, ca. 1515

I am such a creature of habit that I will wear the same group of rings everywhere. That includes the midi rings and the ring I wear on my left thumb. It doesn’t bother me that some people think I wear too many rings. I very rarely wear earrings, so I make up for it with embellishments on my hands. My rings have become little pieces of armor for me, and I am so accustomed to how they feel on my fingers that I feel strange when I have to remove them for a photo shoot or other event.

Valentine’s Day: A Money-Maker

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Valentine’s Day is one of the most retail-driven events in the United States, and for good reason. Savvy business owners have figured out how to capitalize on desperate men everywhere who want to please their women. The women, in turn, have been heavily influenced by clever advertising. Most women know about Jared (no, he isn’t the neighbor two doors down), and the Robbins Brothers have also exerted a powerful influence on the fantasies of ladies everywhere.

However, it seems like more and more couples have become aware of the fact that the big day of love is filled with hype and commercialism. After all, it’s supposed to be about the love, lust, or shared interest between two people, isn’t it? However, I still think a fella can’t go wrong with a beautiful bouquet of flowers (I know I love them!) for his lovely lady. If he wants to go the extra mile, he can get a nice trinket of jewelry (no, it doesn’t have to be diamonds), a stuffed teddy bear (if she’s into that kind of thing), or a sexy undergarment from Victoria’s Secret, but those are very predictable gifts on Valentine’s Day.

Then there are the chocolates and candy hearts. Heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolates have become increasingly more dreaded, since more ladies than ever are concerned about the sugar rush which comes from consuming them. Don’t be surprised if you buy a box of cheap chocolates and your woman refuses to eat them because they have high fructose corn syrup, artificial flavors or colors. Perhaps it’s time to get more creative and pick up a few gluten-free, vegan cupcakes?

A popular outing for couples is to go out to dinner, but restaurants have become far too opportunistic in recent years. Typical Prix Fixe menus for February 14th are so outrageously expensive that you almost have to take out a second mortgage just to afford the meal. I have gotten to the point that I have no desire to pay three times the amount of money I would usually pay for a meal at the same restaurant, simply because I was foolish enough to go there on Valentine’s Day. Besides, the restaurants are always packed, always noisy, and there’s a good chance that your table might be right next to the men’s restroom or in a drafty corner of the patio. Never mind that you made reservations three months ago and specified that you wanted a booth inside the restaurant.

What I enjoy the most, and am planning to do this year, is to cook a nice meal at home, open a good bottle (or two) of wine, and enjoy the comforts of home. That holds much more value for me than surrounding myself with red heart cutouts, chocolates I can’t eat, or spending a king’s ransom for a meal. I also don’t have to yell over the din of the other patrons blabbing.