As Tough As Bathing A Cat

Bert's BathA lot of people think I’m nuts for giving my three cats baths every two months, but I can honestly say it makes a huge difference in a household of people with mild allergies. Besides, two of my cats are purebred Burmese (one European and one American), so they are naturally a bit spoiled already. Since I never have time to brush my cats’ coats, this is a way to keep them well groomed with minimal effort. I have developed a system in which I gather all the bathing supplies such as towels, nail clippers and basins in a stealthy fashion so that they don’t realize what torture I have planned for them. I have a denim jacket which I have had for two decades which has, as its only purpose, protecting my arms, forearms and torso during the process.

I watch my cats for many hours on the designated day, waiting for the most opportune moment to grab all three cats and rush into the bathroom. Let me tell you, carrying three squirming cats into a small room is no easy task! The meowing begins almost immediately, usually by my silver spotted tabby rescue who loves to bellyache about the whole experience. No amount of talking in a soothing voice calms my kids down sufficiently. They simply hate everything about bath day. Before you assume that my cats are unaccustomed to baths, you should now that the Burmese cats have had regular baths since the age of 3 months, and the rescue began having baths at three weeks of age.

I have become quite skilled at holding onto a squirming mass of wet mammal with one hand while shampooing and rinsing with the other hand. This was especially challenging today, since I am still suffering from a forearm injury which has rendered my right forearm and hand almost useless. However, I was determined to get the job done with minimal hassle, and miraculously, my little monsters behaved pretty well this time around. As usual, I finished the chore pretty much completely soaked, with a wet bathroom floor and cat hair clogging my shower drain, but it took very little time for the cats to dry in our current 80 degree Fahrenheit weather. The cats are very clean now, and their shedding has dropped to minimal levels.

One of these days, I may have someone record me bathing my cats just so people can see how I get it done!