Tag mother

My Mom’s Mother’s Day Visit

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This past Mother’s Day was punctuated by two strange and special incidents, the first of which occurred about an hour after a floral arrangement I had ordered was delivered to my mother’s gravesite in Hawaii. I was in the midst of cleaning my home and getting ready for a trip to Hawaii in order to put my mom’s sister Alice to rest in the same grave with my mother’s cremains. While I was cleaning, I heard something fall to the floor, so I looked in the direction of the noise to find out what had fallen. A high school English composition book which has sat propped up decoratively on one of my bookshelves was on the floor, but the manner in which it had fallen, as well as the trajectory in which it fell off the shelf, was very odd.

I was nowhere near the bookcase from which the book had fallen, so the disruption lacked logical explanation. The book had been my mother’s, a textbook she had used while in high school. She had given it to me when I was a child, thinking that I would enjoy having it, and told me that she thought it was ridiculous that the book had been published 16 years prior to when she used it as a textbook (primarily due to budget constraints from the Great Depression and World War 2). Since the textbook was published the year my mom was born (1932), I always felt that the book was a representation of her, since it was as old as her.

When the book fell, it somehow flew in an arc over a nearby etagere, a movement which defied the laws of physics. In addition, it fell face up, which made no sense from the position it was in when it was on the shelf. I picked up the book, and instantly felt my mom’s presence around me. I thought to myself, wow, my mom is finally here to visit. It was a very special moment, but since I had more cleaning to do, I put the book back on the shelf and continued to clean.

About an hour after the book incident, I went up to my bedroom to clean it. When I walked into the room, I saw that the ihai or spirit tablet from my mom’s funeral was turned sharply to the left so that the front of the tablet was facing the window. None of my cats had been in my room the entire time I was cleaning, so I absolutely knew that my mom was once again communicating with me. I was stunned, since my mother’s spirit hadn’t paid me a visit since her death in June of 2023.

I’d love to hear the stories of others who might have experienced similar visits from departed family members!

My Weekly Calls

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When my mother’s aneurysm rupture occurred in August of 2004, I immediately thought of two elderly ladies whom I considered surrogate mothers: one was my mother’s sister Jean, and the other was a dear friend of my mother’s and mine, whom everyone referred to as Frenchie. With my mother hovering over the edge of death, I made a sudden realization that I needed to reach out to these surrogate mothers more regularly. Anything could happen in an instant and forever change the lives of these women whom I adored.

My mother was in the Neurosurgical ICU at UCLA for two weeks, then spent another week on the med-surg floor recovering from two coil embolization procedures. Shortly after my mother was released from the hospital, I decided to call my aunt Jean and Frenchie every week to say hello and to check up on them. With only a few stark exceptions (such as trips out of the country), I was able to keep my promise to myself and to them over the years. To this day I still call Frenchie every week to chat.

Sadly, my aunt alienated the majority of the family four years ago and refused to speak to me for a year. Once she allowed me to contact her again, things weren’t the same, and what further complicated the situation was that she developed amyotropic lateral sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease) in early 2016. ALS eventually robbed my aunt of her ability to speak, and she eventually passed away on December 20, 2016.

For any of you who keep pushing off contacting old friends or relatives, I implore you to contact them NOW. If you wait, it might be too late when you finally get around to it.

Teddy Bears

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My early days...see the white bear on the right? This is the bear that started it all...

I got my first teddy bear when I was a baby (see photo above), and it seemed to spark a teddy bear obsession, particularly white ones. Though I don’t like collecting stuffed animals per se, I do have a small teddy bear collection, which features a 42 inch tall white bear named “Grandma Fresca” by the manufacturer. I am very attached to this giant bear, primarily because my mother gave it to me.

Grandma Fresca teddy bear

Grandma Fresca teddy bear

My collection is tucked rather discreetly in two small nooks in my bedroom so as not to disrupt the design flow of the room. Though I don’t consider myself a stuffed animal fan, and don’t pay any attention to my bear collection, I feel a very strong sentimental attachment to the largest bear, and to one of the smallest in my collection, which served as a litter mate to a three week old rescue kitten who is still very much a part of my family today. I find it rather touching that there is a mother-child asociation associated with both of these teddy bears.

My little rescue kitty with her teddy bear littermate! Shima is 5 years old now and a sweet and wonderful cat...

My little rescue kitty with her teddy bear littermate! Shima is 5 years old now and a sweet and wonderful cat…