Tag entitlement

Don’t Touch!

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It is never appropriate for a man — or anyone, for that matter — to touch a woman’s body, including her legs or butt, without her clear, enthusiastic consent. This isn’t just about “manners” or “boundaries”; it’s about basic human dignity, respect, and the right each person has to autonomy over their own body.

Invasion of a Woman’s Body

Touching someone without consent is a violation. It’s not a compliment, not a joke, and not excusable because of a friendship or past closeness. A woman’s body is her own, not an object to be touched at someone else’s whim. When a man puts his hands on her without permission — even if they’re “close friends” — it invades her personal space, disrespects her autonomy, and communicates a total disregard for her comfort and her right to say what happens to her body.

Disrespect and Objectification

When a man touches a woman’s body without consent — especially in a sexual or suggestive way, like grabbing her butt — he is objectifying her. He is reducing her to something that exists for his pleasure or amusement. That kind of behavior says: “Your body is here for me to use,” whether consciously intended or not.

It’s not about affection or connection — it’s about power and control. It disregards who she is as a person and treats her like a thing. Even if they’re friends, even if she’s never said anything before, it’s not okay. Silence is not consent, and familiarity doesn’t equal permission.

The Impact

For the woman, it can be confusing, infuriating, violating, and dehumanizing — especially when it comes from someone she trusts. It can make her feel unsafe in spaces where she should feel secure, like among friends. It sends the message that her comfort, safety, and agency don’t matter.

The Responsibility

It is every person’s responsibility to respect others’ boundaries, and that starts with recognizing that touching someone without permission is a form of disrespect and harm. Being close friends doesn’t mean you get a “pass.” Respect is not situational — it’s foundational.

Touch is not harmless if it’s not wanted. Just because you don’t mean anything by it doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean something to the person you’re touching. The intention does not erase the impact.

Wanting to talk about this openly is important — especially because it’s not just about one action. It’s about the culture that normalizes the objectification of women and teaches some men that entitlement is acceptable if it’s dressed up as “playfulness” or “friendship.” But real friendship is rooted in respect.

Should Nurse Practitioners Be Called Doctors?

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For this post, I am starting it off by copying and pasting an article by Art Caplan, who is from the Division of Medical Ethics at the NYU Grossman School of Medicine. In this transcript, he discusses a lawsuit which three nurse practitioners filed in California. For those of you who would like to see the original post as well as the video, please click here.

Three NP’s With Doctorates Sue to Use ‘Doctor’ Title”; Ethicist Disagrees

Arthur L. Caplan, PhD

August 08, 2023

Hi. I’m Art Caplan. I’m at the Division of Medical Ethics at the NYU Grossman School of Medicine. A lawsuit has been filed in California by three nurses. The nurses are arguing that because they have PhDs in clinically related fields of nursing and healthcare, they ought to be able to use the term “doctor” as a sign of respect for the work that they did to get a PhD.

That’s no insignificant amount of work. I have a PhD in a different area, but I know the kind of labor that it takes to complete that kind of a degree. I have no doubt that there are many advanced skills associated with having a PhD in one of those nursing areas that benefit patients.

The nurses say that California law, which currently restricts the use of the term “doctor” to MDs or DOs, ought to be expanded to recognize their PhD work. I don’t agree with this even though I certainly have nothing but respect for the work that nurses do, whether they have PhDs or not.

It seems to me that patients really come to hospitals, clinics, and healthcare settings distinguishing, if you will, between doctors (MDs and DOs) and nurses. They may have their ideas about what each of them do, and they may be wrong about what each of them do. I think the road to gaining respect for the work, the contributions, and even the importance of what nurses do is not to start to broaden the use of the term “doctor.”

Part of the reason I worry about that is that it’s a slippery slope. There may be others coming in who want to use that term. Some PhDs in bioethics may start to say, “Well, I’ve done a large amount of work in healthcare-related fields. Maybe I’d like to have that term used for me.” People in some of the more life science–oriented fields may do the same.

I don’t think heading down that road is the way to go. Instead, I would suggest that we try very hard to honor and recognize the work that all healthcare professionals do, including physical therapists, social workers, chaplains, doctors, nurses, lab technicians, and radiation technicians. When I have been in the hospital, I deeply respect all the work that those folks are trying to do to help me.

I don’t use the term “doctor” so much as the only person who’s worthy of respect or the only person who’s in charge. I use it just to distinguish between the set of skills, responsibilities, data collection, recommendation of therapy, and so on that, in my own head, correspond to different roles that people are doing.

Do nurses deserve more respect when they complete the difficult path to a PhD? Absolutely. My argument is simple. Let’s teach everyone who goes to the hospital. Let’s teach our students to respect everybody’s work, to respect the roles and professionalism that everybody tries to bring to the care of patients.

I don’t think having a battle over who really gets to use the word “doctor” is the best path forward because it still may lead to confusion. I think the path forward is learning to respect what all parties contribute in the care of patients.

I’m Art Caplan at the Division of Medical Ethics at NYU’s Grossman School of Medicine. Thanks for watching.

Now for my two cents…

I am in complete agreement with Art Caplan, and see absolutely no reason why these nurses who have PhD’s feel that they have the right to use the title of ‘doctor’ (due to the PhD designation and NOT MD or DO) and potentially confuse their patients. I firmly believe that unless someone who works in healthcare actually obtained an MD or a DO, that the individual has no right to insist on being referred to as ‘doctor’. If the title of ‘doctor’ is so important to someone who is interested in working in healthcare, then I suggest that the person attend and complete medical school and residency training just like I and countless others did. We put in the work, and we earned the doctor title.

Yes I Write Prescriptions. No I Won’t Write One For Your Brother.

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As a fully licensed, board-certified physician, I have written my share of prescriptions over the years for medications, imaging studies, etc. I recognize that it is an incredible honor and privilege to be able to write scripts, and I never take advantage of it. However, there are people out there who think nothing of asking me to write prescriptions for them, simply because I am a fully credentialed physician conveniently standing there in front of them. What is especially irritating is when people dare to ask me to conduct curbside consultations or write prescriptions for their family members or loved ones who not only aren’t there with them to be examined, but who are complete strangers to me. Tell me, how in the world am I supposed to conduct a medical evaluation on a complete stranger, sight unseen? These same individuals also tend to get offended when I kindly tell them that their loved one needs to be seen in person by a qualified medical professional who can assess their condition and administer the appropriate treatment.

So if you are the kind of person who is in the habit of asking doctors to do similar favors for you or your family, please understand that your requests are unreasonable and inappropriate. If your husband, sister, son, cousin, or best friend needs medical attention, do the responsible thing and either tell that person to go see a doctor, or take that person to the doctor.

Don’t Take It The Wrong Way…Friend Requests On My Personal Facebook Profile

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fb-requests

I get a lot of Facebook friend requests each day, anywhere from 20 to over 100. I have maxed out on my profile a number of times over the years and have endured the weed-out process that some people will do in an effort to keep a personal profile truly personal or industry-related. This time, however, I am no longer able to clean up my friends list because I truly know the people on it. Despite being almost maxed out, I get random requests from people whom I do not know, and I have to delete these requests. Let’s do the math here: even if I wasn’t already right at 5,000 friends, how could I possibly add all the requests I get daily? If I had a friend-free profile, and received an average of 80 requests a day, I would max out in two months.

Some people are nice enough to message me beforehand, asking permission to send a friend request. What amazes me though, is how pushy and sometimes rude people can be when I kindly say no. Some people will cuss me out, saying that I am not that special and that they didn’t want to be friends with me anyway. Others will keep messaging me repeatedly, pleading with me to add them. Some will mention that “we have a few mutual friends” when I can see that the mutual friends are random. I have had to resort to blocking people who became aggressive or threatening. I have also gotten requests with messages along these lines: “You’re very beautiful. We should be friends.” This tells me that the person has no clue who I am, but just saw my avatar and thought I was hot.

Persistent FB guy

I will be very clear and say that a message stream similar to the one you see above will never be endearing, only extremely annoying. Anyone who dares to scold me for not responding shows his or her insanity and gets blocked. What I don’t understand is how a complete stranger can conjure up notions that anyone with even the smallest bit of celebrity status is somehow a messaging buddy, a kindred spirit, a best friend, or a virtual lover? Sorry, but that just spells crazy, and I will not tolerate it.

So if you and I don’t know each other and you send a Facebook friend request which I reject, please don’t take it personally!