Tag disrespect

Why Some People Ghost

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Source: 123rf.com
Image ID : 52651500
Copyright : Nebojsa Markovic

 

Has someone ever just completely disappeared from your life, without any explanation?  It is an incredibly confounding experience, and has occurred more than once for me.  What blows my mind is that older adults, people in their forties and fifties, have exhibited this bizarre and rude behavior in recent years, so the phenomenon of “ghosting” cannot be pegged as a young person’s habit.

I honestly think that when a person ghosts anyone for reasons such as, they’re not feeling the same way about the other person (usually a dating scenario), or they have become bored with someone, the act of ghosting is truly a sign of immaturity and lack of emotional availability, which means that the ghostee is actually lucky to be cut loose.  However, when someone completely disappears without an explanation, whether it’s a dating situation, a more serious relationship, or a friendship, the person being ghosted often grapples with extreme mental anguish because there is no closure.

Even if the explanation for the person’s ghosting on another might be painful to hear, I bet most individuals would prefer to hear that explanation instead of scratching their heads in bewilderment, thinking, what in the world HAPPENED? I completely understand that feelings can change, but I also was raised to believe that you should offer a reason why you no longer wish to talk to or associate with someone.  If you don’t respond to texts, etc., and the ghostee can clearly see that you are doing fine, you are basically indicating to that person that they aren’t even worthy of any bit of respect. And while there are situations in which the ghostee might have done something egregiously wrong, in most situations, the person doing the ghosting is merely fickle, disrespectful, and narcissistic.  That’s been my observation in every situation in which I have been ghosted.

What are your thoughts on being ghosted?  If you have ghosted someone in the past, why did you choose to ghost someone instead of providing a reason why you wanted to discontinue communication?

 

 

 

Loaded Emails

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When I sat down to write this piece, I was still steaming mad from an incident which occurred earlier that day. Basically, a whole slew of individuals, including me, who were working with a certain company, were summarily and abruptly dismissed via a very general email. In addition, the email dared to accuse us of engaging in practices which would definitely not be considered very decent, practices of which I was never guilty.

In a heartbeat, we were all cut at the knees, without any true explanation. Mind you, I had worked with this company for a number of years, put up with their frequent bait-and-switch tactics, and found myself fighting to stay in the game when the powers that be kept showing how fickle they were. It was one of those situations in which someone would suddenly get cut, then a few months down the road, someone else would suffer the same fate. It was obvious that loyalty didn’t matter to them, because they had no loyalty towards the people who worked for them.

How have I dealt with the sudden kick off the gangplank? I have cleaned house, cut out the fat just like they did. Since all the work I did over the years wasn’t appreciated, I had no problem deleting them from my life. I guess business is business, and no one’s feelings matter. Done deal.

Bullshitters

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I am getting incredibly tired of people who open up their mouths and declare that they will do something, then when push comes to shove, they back out of their promises. This sort of thing happens both in business as well as in my personal life, and I am completely fed up. Whatever happened to the days when a person’s word meant something? Is our society failing so much that people no longer hold themselves accountable when they make promises to others?

I maintain that if a person has no intention of following through with something, then nothing should ever be said, regardless of how “spontaneous” or “imaginative” that person is. If I hear, “Let’s do this!” or “I’m gonna take you to this place”, then I believe that it will come to fruition. Whenever I state that I will do something, I ALWAYS come through, even if my enthusiasm for the task has waned.

Remember, your actions are far more telling than your words are.

This Is The Type Of Girl That You Should Stop Taking For Granted

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One of my dear friends sent this to me right after I got walloped with a recent and painful breakup. Without going into details, I was raked over the coals for YEARS, dumped repeatedly for no good reason, and was constantly belittled and disrespected. Yet I kept loving, kept giving, like a fool.

I am copying and pasting the body of the article here so that you can read it more clearly. The original source is filled with annoying pop-ups. I don’t know who the author is, but he or she nailed it with the giving, caring woman who gives herself to undeserving men.

The original link to this article can be found here:

http://www.spiritualunite.com/articles/this-is-the-type-of-girl-that-you-should-stop-taking-for-granted/

This Is The Type Of Girl That You Should Stop Taking For Granted

She’s the girl that does everything for you and never asks for anything in return.

She texts first. She asks how your family is doing, how your job is going, how your friends are. She takes a genuine interest in your life. When you call, she answers. When you whine, she listens. Whenever you need her, she’s there. No exceptions.

She doesn’t hold any grudges against you. She’s such a forgiving soul. Whenever you screw up, she doesn’t stay angry. She deals with the hurt and moves past it, because she believes that you’re worth it.

She’s the type of girl that wants to know you, all of you. She asks about your childhood. About your exes. About your parents. She wishes you would be as open with her as she is with you. She wishes you would trust her with your deepest secrets.

Even though you haven’t done much to prove that you care, she’s always making you feel special. She does little things, things you barely even notice, that add up to a lot. She tags you on cute photos. She shares her funny stories. She compliments your looks and your laugh. She makes you feel like you matter.

She keeps trying to break down your walls and push her way inside — even though she secretly knows you’re nothing but trouble.

After all, you’ve hurt her before. You’ve gone days without responding to her, and still, whenever you text her, she answers within minutes.

You’ve canceled plans with her, but whenever you ask her to come over, she still says yes.

You’ve made her cry (you know you have), but she still does everything within her power to make you smile.

You’ve done so many things to chase her away, but she’s still there.

She has given you a million chances and you’re still expecting more. You assume that she’s always going to be there, that she’s always going to want you, no matter how poorly you treat her.

But she’s not going to stick around forever. One day, she’ll get sick of this one-sided love. One day, she’ll realize that she deserves to receive all of the things that she’s been giving. One day, she won’t care about you anymore.

If you’re smart, you’ll stop taking her for granted before that day comes — because she’s the type of girl that will make your life worth living. She’ll take you on romantic rooftop dates. She’ll create scrapbooks to showcase her love. She’ll never let you forget how much she cares.

You both know that she should be long gone by now. She shouldn’t still be pining over you. She shouldn’t still be trying to turn your sadness into happiness — but she is. So stop taking her love for granted.

Stop stringing such a beautiful girl along.

via Thought Catalog