Tag diamond rings

My Four Engagement Rings

drstaceynaito 1 Comment
© rawpixel, 123RF Free Images

A little-known fact about me is that I have been engaged four times, and there is a pretty crazy story about the four rings which were associated with each engagement. The proposals occurred over a span of many years, with the first taking place in 1990, followed by one in 1994, one in 1998, and one in 2005. The engagement which took place in 1998 culminated in a wedding the following year, but the other engagements fell apart for different reasons.

The first man I cohabitated with suggested that we have rings custom made for our impending engagement, to which I agreed. He stated that he wanted to be able to wear his band on his right hand while we were engaged, to which I also agreed. We had our rings custom designed and crafted, and because my boyfriend had poor credit, I opened an account at the jewelry store in my name. Shortly after we had the rings made, my guy lost his job, and because he was a raging alcoholic, he stopped making any effort whatsoever to secure new employment. As a result, I had to cover all household expenses, and was stuck paying for my own engagement ring. I ended up breaking up with the loser because I couldn’t see myself being financially responsible for him for the rest of my life.

Shortly after I broke up with Scott, I met a wonderful man, and he ended up moving in with me after about a year. I mentioned to him that, should he decide to propose to me, he could take the credit from my first engagement ring (which was for sale on consignment) and use it towards the purchase of a ring. He ended up using that credit, purchased a ring, and proposed to me. We remained engaged for a year and a half before he broke off the engagement, stating that his mother told him he wasn’t ready for marriage, yet he insisted on remaining in the relationship. I endured what I could for two years, then ended things because I couldn’t justify being with a man who seemed to want our relationship to regress rather than progress.

Then it was off to medical school for me. At the beginning of my second year of medical school, I met someone who truly swept me off my feet, and we were engaged three months later, albeit without the formality of a ring. I told my fiancé that I had an engagement ring which we could sell so that he could use the funds towards the purchase of a new ring. When we visited the jeweler whom we had chosen to design and craft our rings, the jeweler stated that it would be better to use the same diamonds from the old ring. I didn’t like the idea of using the center diamond, but agreed to use the two trillion diamonds which flanked the center stone. I asked the jeweler what the extra cost would be if we were to switch out the center diamond, and both my fiancé and I balked at the figure we were given. My fiancé insisted on using the center diamond from the old ring, declaring, “If you’re a good wife, I’ll get you a bigger diamond when we get to our 20th wedding anniversary”.

We were married for 3 years when I insisted on getting a divorce, and it took a year and a half for our divorce to be finalized. Once our divorce was finalized, I elected to put my wedding and engagement ring set on consignment, with the mindset that if it ever sold, I would just pocket the money. What ended up happening was that I met someone very special, and when it looked like things were getting serious, I told my man that he could use the credit on my wedding set towards an engagement ring if he was so inclined. He of course went for the credit, bought a beautiful ring, and proposed to me.

Our relationship didn’t work out, so I once again was left with a ring on which I had equity. Once I realized what a curse that ring was, I sold it and used the funds to pay bills.

For any woman who is willing to either do the foolish things I had done in the past, or who is even willing to purchase her own engagement ring to help her guy out financially (this actually happened with my best friend’s daughter when she decided to marry), I URGE you not to do it! You are worth more than that!

Right Hand Rings

drstaceynaito 2 Comments


Pictured above is a Diamond Vintage-Inspired Engagement Ring (1/2 ct. t.w.) in 14k White Gold. This is the ring I wear now.

The trend in right hand rings has increased in popularity over the last fifteen years, because women are embracing it as a way to celebrate their independence and honor themselves. Similar to promise rings, which are also often worn on the right ring finger, right hand rings symbolize a dedication to a goal, a celebration of one’s strength, or an expression of one’s personality.

Though most of the women who opt to purchase right hand rings for themselves are single, a growing number of married woman are purchasing right hand rings for themselves. Right hand rings enable women to proudly display their power and freedom. One advertising campaign uses the slogan,

“Your left hand is a symbol of loyalty. Your right hand is a symbol of freedom.”

I’ve been married, and I have been engaged, so I still regard the left ring finger as sacred. As a matter of fact, I RARELY wear rings on my left ring finger out of respect for my strong belief that the left ring finger is reserved for the bond between two people. However, I have no intention of waiting for a left hand ring to alight once again upon that digit, and it turns out that many women feel the same way, and are purchasing right hand rings, even married ladies.

I had bought a right hand ring back in 2012, but I wasn’t in love with the design, and because I was so resentful of the non-committal man I was with at the time, I didn’t really want to wear it. When it was stolen in 2013, I figured it was meant to be.

Then in early February of this year, I was struck with a sudden urge to get a new right hand ring. It was time to honor myself. I wanted a design which reflected my personality, my taste, and was hoping to find something I absolutely loved, something that made me happy every time I looked at it. I selected a ring which did exactly that, the one that is pictured here on my blog. And it was on sale, for a price which could not be beaten, so I bought it. Little did I know I bought the ring on the crest of a huge breakup, so in a very cosmic way, it was perfect timing.

Exactly one month after I bought my right hand ring, I was completely broadsided by a sudden breakup, the third breakup by the same person in the span of six years. He was planning to move back in. He told me that he was finally ready to make an effort. It was all a lie.

To be honest, I was relieved that I didn’t have to explain my purchase to this guy who I am sure would have berated me for it. It was ridiculous of me to be so apprehensive to reveal my new bauble to someone who let me pay for everything (dinners, trips, gifts, etc.), yet felt he had the right to direct me on how to spend MY money. He never, ever took care of me, but expected me to acquiesce to his every need, and also knew that I would always rescue his pathetic ass.

Now I wear my right hand ring proudly, without fear of being ridiculed. I didn’t know it was considered an engagement ring until I wrote this article, but here’s a thought: I’m never going to break up with myself, and this ring symbolizes my lifelong commitment to myself, my dreams and my goals.