What Do You Take For Granted?

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Chances are that you probably take many things in your life for granted. For example, you probably take for granted that you will wake up to face another morning. You may take for granted that you have job security or financial security. You may take your good health for granted, or you may have resigned yourself to sub-optimal health while taking for granted that you will somehow overcome the inevitable consequence of poorly managed illness. You may take your relationship or marriage for granted, assuming that because you have a partner whom you love and who presumably loves you back, you will never be alone or have to struggle with being single again. You may take for granted that your home is completely safe from violence, thieves, or natural disasters.

Never, EVER take anything you have in your life for granted. Anything can be stripped away from you in a heartbeat. The saying, “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst” has some utility in reminding us to pay attention and take steps to ensure our comfort, our safety, our health, our sanity. Nothing we have is permanent. It’s all on loan until we move on from this physical realm.

I know this sounds depressing, but it isn’t meant to be. It is simply a reminder to pay attention to what you are blessed with, to appreciate it, and to realize that just because you enjoy it and it has given you comfort or joy, doesn’t mean that it will last. Don’t count on it. Live every day as if it was your last.

The White Dove

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My mother’s family believes very strongly that departed spirits return to the physical world in winged form. This belief was handed down to me, and is so deeply ingrained that I am always keenly aware of the presence of birds and insects I encounter when a loved one has recently passed away.

When my favorite aunt passed away last December, I didn’t feel her energy around me at all. This was in stark contrast to when my dear friend Rob Willhite passed away in April of 2014. Right after Rob died, he hovered around my meditation table and my bed, and left coins on my bed, bathroom counter, desk chair, and car seat. His energy was heavy, palpable.

I began to accept the possibility that I wasn’t as spiritually connected with my aunt as I had always thought. I traveled to Oahu the third week of January and spent the days leading up to my aunty’s funeral getting reacquainted with the island. I still felt no connection with my aunt’s spirit.

The day of the funeral arrived with a vengeance, spewing rain and strong winds which were the exact opposite of the balmy, sunny days which led up to it. The funeral service was odd, and seeing my aunt’s embalmed corpse was alarming to me. It was definitely an empty vessel.

For the first time ever, I served as a pallbearer. As we carried the casket out to the hearse, the rain began to fall again. By the time the funeral procession had arrived at the cemetery, the rain was steady, and the winds were so fierce that it threw a few of the folding chairs at the site into the air.

During the burial ceremony, the priest stood in front of the casket, with his back to the interment site which awaited my aunt’s body. While he spoke, the winds whipped furiously, pushing the rain into us and rendering the protection of the tent we were sitting under completely useless. One particularly assertive gust of wind hit, and I looked up despite risking getting a face full of rain. As soon as I glanced up, a single white dove flew up from the exact position where my aunt’s final resting place would be, made a sweeping arc behind the priest, and flew up into the sky. That was the sign I was looking for. Aunty was there.

The next evening I returned to Los Angeles, and because I was battling a wicked case of bronchitis, I chose to sleep on the sofa downstairs so that I wouldn’t wake anyone upstairs. By some miracle I actually got a decent night’s sleep that night. When I woke up the next morning, I put my left foot down onto the floor, and noticed a single white feather right next to my foot. Another sign.

That feather is now in a pouch with a mala my friend Rob gave me.

Why Fifty Is Great

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So far, I have really enjoyed being fifty years old. It isn’t nearly as alarming or horrific as I had made it out to be. In keeping with the slogan which was on my most recent birthday cake, I truly feel like “50 IS THE NEW 20” and am thrilled that my physical appearance has also kept up with my spirit, mind, and intentions.

After spending a half-century on the planet, I no longer have the patience to deal with people who can’t honor their word. My tolerance has completely dissolved, and I think nothing of tossing flaky people to the curb. I guess the old adage, “with age comes wisdom” has a lot of truth to it. My gut instinct has proven consistently to be a foolproof guardian, so I no longer try to fight it. I trust it completely.

I cannot and will not wait for things to happen. I need to generate my own momentum and know that I can only truly depend on myself. Challenges will continue to hit me, but I feel stronger than ever about my ability to handle anything that comes my way. I also know that situations will always find their own resolution eventually. I also trust the process by which situations must unfold, and I also put tremendous faith in the universe. I maintain a connection with the universe by meditating daily and by keeping energy flowing through me.

My Weekly Calls

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When my mother’s aneurysm rupture occurred in August of 2004, I immediately thought of two elderly ladies whom I considered surrogate mothers: one was my mother’s sister Jean, and the other was a dear friend of my mother’s and mine, whom everyone referred to as Frenchie. With my mother hovering over the edge of death, I made a sudden realization that I needed to reach out to these surrogate mothers more regularly. Anything could happen in an instant and forever change the lives of these women whom I adored.

My mother was in the Neurosurgical ICU at UCLA for two weeks, then spent another week on the med-surg floor recovering from two coil embolization procedures. Shortly after my mother was released from the hospital, I decided to call my aunt Jean and Frenchie every week to say hello and to check up on them. With only a few stark exceptions (such as trips out of the country), I was able to keep my promise to myself and to them over the years. To this day I still call Frenchie every week to chat.

Sadly, my aunt alienated the majority of the family four years ago and refused to speak to me for a year. Once she allowed me to contact her again, things weren’t the same, and what further complicated the situation was that she developed amyotropic lateral sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease) in early 2016. ALS eventually robbed my aunt of her ability to speak, and she eventually passed away on December 20, 2016.

For any of you who keep pushing off contacting old friends or relatives, I implore you to contact them NOW. If you wait, it might be too late when you finally get around to it.

There’s Still Musical Talent Out There…GREAT Love Song

Don’t go thinking that I am a sappy, hopeless romantic, but I do appreciate a well-written, soulful love song. Amy Wadge and Ed Sheeran penned one of the loveliest songs of all time, and in the new millenium to boot. I’m sharing the official video for the song, as well as the lyrics. Though I find some of the dance moves a bit overtly sexual and somewhat inappropriate for the lyrics which expound a pure love, I also regard the video as pretty romantic since it is filmed in a ballroom reminiscent of the one featured in “Beauty and the Beast”, which remains one of my favorite all-time films.

Ed Sheeran “Thinking Out Loud”

When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re seventy
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty three
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me – I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way (mmm)
I know you will still love me the same
‘Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it’s evergreen
And, baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory
I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
Well, I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand
That, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are (oh ohh)
La la la la la la la la loud
So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Songwriters: AMY WADGE, ED SHEERAN
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, THE ROYALTY NETWORK INC.

Musings From A Happy Half-Centurian

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Now that I have been in the 50 zone for a few months, I can honestly say that I actually like it! Here are a few reasons why I am completely comfortable with being 50 years old…

* I still get carded. In fact, I have been asked for ID when purchasing alcohol more frequently now than a year ago. And it’s not because I am purchasing booze with more frequency either. I have even gotten carded while with younger friends who did NOT get carded. It’s bizarre and very cool.

* I can still rock an outfit and not only be a head-turner, but a neck-BREAKER. Gotta have goals!

* I can take care of myself and don’t panic if I am faced with a challenge. However, I am completely grateful when someone comes to my aid or shows concern for my welfare. I am so blessed to have wonderful, true friends who have my back as much as I have theirs!

* I can usually discern very quickly which opportunities and situations are legit and which ones are a waste of my time. With age comes wisdom, and my gut instinct has proven consistently to be a foolproof guardian.

* I don’t wait for things to happen…I MAKE them happen. When I was younger, I had a tendency to put more faith in others coming through for me. Over the past few years, I have adopted the attitude that I can only depend on myself, so I have pushed myself to become a solo mover and shaker. It’s pretty tough navigating alone, but at least I trust the person at the helm!

* I trust that time will always makes things unfold organically. This makes struggling through difficult times much more manageable. I know that situations will always come to a resolution eventually. Whenever I have any doubt, I think of what my grandmother used to tell my mom and her siblings when times were rough: “Don’t worry, after bad comes good.” What a wise woman.

* I no longer care if someone has a problem with me sporting a miniskirt, a bikini, or a curve-hugging dress. My thought is, I still have it, and I have every intention of flaunting it. Sorry if that offends some people, but the folks who have a problem with such attire can’t take away my resolve to celebrate what I have worked so hard to maintain.

* I realize that life isn’t over just because I hit a certain chronological marker. If anything, I am just getting started!

There’s Always Time To Breathe

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As I was speaking with one of my patients earlier today, I was struck by the fact that she said she had no time to do anything, and that her work schedule was so stacked that she felt like she was unraveling. I suggested that she take a moment at some point in her day to just sit still and BREATHE, without any task or agenda. Her reply? “Oh, I don’t even have time for that!”

It seemed unreasonable to me that this woman wouldn’t even take a few SECONDS for herself just to breathe, take momentary break from the maddening rush of her life, and just be in the moment. It’s not that people can’t stop and breathe, they WON’T, because they have been led to believe that remaining on the hamster wheel of life all the time is a necessary sacrifice for all the success they hope to achieve. The sad truth is that those brief moments of stillness enable the spirit to reset and restore balance to mind and body as well.

If you are like my patient, you are doing yourself a major disservice by constantly moving and not allowing yourself to rest, even for a few seconds. Even the most creative and driven people in the world find time to enjoy their surroundings, pause in the midst of chaos, and realign with themselves. All you will do if you insist on going full guns all the time, without a moment to rest, is burn out your adrenal glands, damage your immune system, and set the tone for depression and anxiety.

For only a few seconds a day, you can enjoy the gift of being in the moment. What’s even better is that you can indulge in such moments throughout the day, between projects, meetings and chores. You can even do it upon waking, right before you start the ignition in your car, while standing in line at the grocery store, or just about anywhere.

Keeping Pace With A Crazy Schedule

George Kontaxis shoot

The last few weeks have been NUTS. I am talking about day after day of so many shifts in my schedule and demands on my time, that I am torn in many different directions, and cannot focus on a darned thing. When this kind of chaos ensues, I begin to lose items, certain basic vocabulary terms escape me, and I feel like I am rushing by everything and everyone, like a bullet train zooming through a bustling cityscape.

For the life of me, I can’t find a gray tank top which I had recently purchased and put…somewhere. I honestly can’t remember where. This isn’t like me, because I am VERY organized, to the point of having all of my clothing organized by color, sleeve length, etc. So why can’t I find that gray top?

I literally run around in my bedroom, grabbing for clothes, rushing, trying to keep up with the stressful demands of being in so many places all the time. It’s starting to get old. Forget about having time to read a book, or watch a TV show, because by the time the dust settles from the crazy days I have been flying through, the notion of blissful sleep is so seductive that I don’t want to do anything else.

What keeps me from unraveling is the consistency I demand with my eating habits and my workouts. I am not joking about this. Despite the insane schedule I have been juggling lately, I still weight train six mornings each week. I attend lyra class one to two evenings during the week. My meals consist of clean foods like chicken breast, salmon, tilapia, green beans, asparagus, brown rice, quinoa, avocado, almonds, oats, and Greek yogurt. I have been drinking plenty of alkaline water. I have also been consistent about consuming MitoXcell every morning (I LOVE this supplement and intend to post more about it when I get a chance to breathe!), and I also take my regular supplements (like turmeric, CoQ10, folic acid, etc.) daily. My energy levels have been decent, and my mood has been generally great, with only a couple of stark exceptions.

There are two days next week which I have designated as clean up and organization days, and I desperately need them. During those days, I will perform the deep cleaning throughout most of the house which the housekeeper always neglects, I will reorganize cabinets and drawers, clean up the garage and patio, and find that gray top!

The Five Keys To Optimal Brain Health

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By: Dr. Stacey Naito – Physician and IFBB Pro

Even if your genetics put you at risk for developing dementia, there are numerous lifestyle and behavior adjustments which you can make in order to protect brain function and fight dementia. The five keys listed below are proven to improve brain health and keep your mind vital and sharp for decades.

1. MOVE YOUR BODY

Scientific research has proven that overall physical health is closely linked to brain health. Regular exercise aids in the maintenance of a healthy weight range, normal cholesterol levels, while also optimizing blood flow throughout the body and the brain and supporting the growth of new brain cells.

The benefits of physical health stem not only from regular exercise, but also from other good health practices. Support your brain’s health by doing the following:

• Exercise at least 30 minutes daily to relieve stress.
• Make sure to get between seven to eight hours of sleep each night.
• Refrain from using tobacco.
• See your doctor regularly.
• Maintain a healthy weight.

2. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

Research studies indicate that diets which are low in saturated fats and cholesterol, and rich in polyunsaturated omega-3 fatty acids and nutrients like lutein and vitamin E, may have a protective effect on brain cells and overall brain health.

Brain-healthy dietary changes:

• Opt for healthy fats which are found in olive oil and fatty fish like salmon. Avoid saturated and trans fats.
• Consume a diet which incorporates milk, eggs, vegetable oils, nuts, whole grains, and dark leafy greens like spinach, all of which are rich in vitamin E. Vitamin E is an important nutrient which supports brain health. If you can’t get vitamin E from foods, you can take it in supplement form.
• Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, aiming for nine fist-sized servings each day. Select colorful fruits like cranberries, blueberries and tomatoes which are packed with powerful anti-inflammatory compounds known as polyphenols. Keep the skin on fruits and vegetables to maximize their nutritional benefits.
• Add lutein. Lutein is a potent antioxidant which is critical for eye and brain health. Foods which are rich in lutein include spinach, kale, turnip greens, collard greens, egg yolks, corn, and peas. You can also take lutein in supplement form.

3. EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN

Extensive research has proven that the brain continues to learn new skills and information throughout life, and benefits from frequent intellectual stimulation. Make sure to pursue new activities, education and games to challenge your mind. Read books to elevate your knowledge base.

How to stimulate your brain:

• Engage in regular sessions of a mental activity you enjoy, such as reading, word games such as crossword puzzles, or learning a foreign language.
• Get into a daily habit of learning a new word or fact.
• Master a new skill or subject each year.
• Manage stress and balance your energy by meditating. Meditation may help to reduce stress and body inflammation by soothing the vagus nerve, an important nerve which controls the body’s immune response.

4. NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS

Though we know that relationships with family and friends are key factors in a person’s happiness, regular social interaction promotes the formation of new brain cells and aids in brain repair. One study revealed that men and women who had the most social interaction had less than half the rate of memory loss as those who were the least socially involved. By visiting friends and family and being involved in community activities, you will protect brain health.

Social brain boosters:

• Spend time with your family and friends regularly, and make them a priority.
• Volunteer for an organization which surrounds a cause which you are passionate about.
• Work for as long as you can, and for as long as you feel motivated to do so.
• Join clubs and become involved in religious or spiritual activities which resonate with you.

5. BALANCE YOUR NEUROTRANSMITTERS

Brain function relies on important molecules known as neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitter levels affect mood, behavior, cognitive function, social function, digestion, sleep, weight regulation, and many other processes.

The problem with current society is that the vast majority of people have overly stimulated sympathetic nervous systems, which over time can drain the body of serotonin. The excitatory part of the nervous system dominates once the inhibitory neurotransmitters are depleted, resulting in anxiety and an inability to “wind down”. Eventually, even the excitatory neurotransmitters such as serotonin, epinephrine, norepinephrine and GABA are also depleted, and severe depression or chronic fatigue usually develop.

Conventional drugs cannot replenish these neurotransmitters, and in fact, tend to cause depletion of the neurotransmitters. This is the reason why some depression medications do not work on some individuals. The good news is that supplementation with amino acids can help to replenish deficient neurotransmitters.
How To Nourish Neurotransmitters:
• Eat a healthy diet. Neurotransmitter imbalance is aggravated by poor diet. Diets high in protein supply the brain with the amino acids it needs to replenish neurotransmitter levels.
• Consume branched chain amino acids to ensure a rich supply of neurotransmitter precursors.

REFERENCES
Neurotransmitter Assessment Brings Light to Management of Psychiatric Problems
Monday, 15 August 2005 00:59By Erik L. Goldman | Editor in Chief – Vol. 6, No. 3. Fall, 2005