Category life

My Four Engagement Rings

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A little-known fact about me is that I have been engaged four times, and there is a pretty crazy story about the four rings which were associated with each engagement. The proposals occurred over a span of many years, with the first taking place in 1990, followed by one in 1994, one in 1998, and one in 2005. The engagement which took place in 1998 culminated in a wedding the following year, but the other engagements fell apart for different reasons.

The first man I cohabitated with suggested that we have rings custom made for our impending engagement, to which I agreed. He stated that he wanted to be able to wear his band on his right hand while we were engaged, to which I also agreed. We had our rings custom designed and crafted, and because my boyfriend had poor credit, I opened an account at the jewelry store in my name. Shortly after we had the rings made, my guy lost his job, and because he was a raging alcoholic, he stopped making any effort whatsoever to secure new employment. As a result, I had to cover all household expenses, and was stuck paying for my own engagement ring. I ended up breaking up with the loser because I couldn’t see myself being financially responsible for him for the rest of my life.

Shortly after I broke up with Scott, I met a wonderful man, and he ended up moving in with me after about a year. I mentioned to him that, should he decide to propose to me, he could take the credit from my first engagement ring (which was for sale on consignment) and use it towards the purchase of a ring. He ended up using that credit, purchased a ring, and proposed to me. We remained engaged for a year and a half before he broke off the engagement, stating that his mother told him he wasn’t ready for marriage, yet he insisted on remaining in the relationship. I endured what I could for two years, then ended things because I couldn’t justify being with a man who seemed to want our relationship to regress rather than progress.

Then it was off to medical school for me. At the beginning of my second year of medical school, I met someone who truly swept me off my feet, and we were engaged three months later, albeit without the formality of a ring. I told my fiancé that I had an engagement ring which we could sell so that he could use the funds towards the purchase of a new ring. When we visited the jeweler whom we had chosen to design and craft our rings, the jeweler stated that it would be better to use the same diamonds from the old ring. I didn’t like the idea of using the center diamond, but agreed to use the two trillion diamonds which flanked the center stone. I asked the jeweler what the extra cost would be if we were to switch out the center diamond, and both my fiancé and I balked at the figure we were given. My fiancé insisted on using the center diamond from the old ring, declaring, “If you’re a good wife, I’ll get you a bigger diamond when we get to our 20th wedding anniversary”.

We were married for 3 years when I insisted on getting a divorce, and it took a year and a half for our divorce to be finalized. Once our divorce was finalized, I elected to put my wedding and engagement ring set on consignment, with the mindset that if it ever sold, I would just pocket the money. What ended up happening was that I met someone very special, and when it looked like things were getting serious, I told my man that he could use the credit on my wedding set towards an engagement ring if he was so inclined. He of course went for the credit, bought a beautiful ring, and proposed to me.

Our relationship didn’t work out, so I once again was left with a ring on which I had equity. Once I realized what a curse that ring was, I sold it and used the funds to pay bills.

For any woman who is willing to either do the foolish things I had done in the past, or who is even willing to purchase her own engagement ring to help her guy out financially (this actually happened with my best friend’s daughter when she decided to marry), I URGE you not to do it! You are worth more than that!

Revitalize Your Routine: Wellness Hacks for the Modern Career Woman

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Image: Freepik

This fantastic post, written by Camille Johnson of Bereaver.com, highlights the most important steps which career women should take in order to maintain balance and optimal well-being.

In the hustle and bustle of professional life, working women often find themselves caught in a relentless grind, juggling multiple responsibilities while striving for success. However, prioritizing well-being amid this chaos is essential for sustainable growth and fulfillment. Here, Dr. Stacey Naito delves into empowering strategies tailored to help women transcend the grind and elevate their overall well-being.

Harness the Power of Reflection

Take time to introspect and evaluate your priorities, goals, and values. Reflection allows you to gain clarity on what truly matters to you, enabling you to make informed decisions aligned with your aspirations. Embracing moments of solitude provides an opportunity for self-discovery and introspection, fostering a deeper understanding of your emotions and motivations. Regularly assessing your progress empowers you to course-correct when necessary, ensuring that your actions remain congruent with your long-term objectives.

Pursue a Degree Online

Earning a degree online is a great option if you’re looking to change your job and advance in your career. For instance, pursuing a degree in psychology can provide insights into cognitive and affective processes, equipping you to better support those in need. Online degree programs offer the flexibility to study while working full-time, streamlining, well, everything, from managing your schedule to accessing course materials. This approach allows you to gain new skills and knowledge without disrupting your current responsibilities.

Build Power with Resistance Training

Resistance training offers numerous benefits, including increased muscle strength, improved bone density, and enhanced metabolic rate, which collectively contribute to better overall health and fitness. Additionally, it can aid in weight management and improve posture, reducing the risk of chronic conditions. To maximize these benefits, consider a monthly customized exercise plan from Dr. Stacey Naito. Her tailored approach ensures that each workout aligns with your personal fitness goals and abilities, providing expert guidance for optimal results.

Set Achievable Milestones

Define clear and attainable objectives that inspire progress and keep you focused. Setting specific and measurable goals provides a roadmap for success, guiding your actions and decisions along the way. Breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable tasks prevents overwhelm and enhances productivity. Celebrating milestones, no matter how small, reinforces your sense of accomplishment and motivates you to continue making strides toward your ultimate vision.

Nurture Positive Self-Talk

Cultivate a nurturing inner dialogue that uplifts and empowers you. Positive self-talk involves consciously replacing negative thoughts with affirmations of your capabilities and worthiness. By practicing self-compassion and kindness toward yourself, you cultivate a resilient mindset that enables you to bounce back from setbacks with grace and determination. Embracing optimism as a guiding principle empowers you to see challenges as opportunities for growth and development, fostering a sense of hope and possibility.

Embrace Forgiveness

Release yourself from the burden of resentment by embracing forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions of others but about freeing yourself from the emotional weight of past grievances. By extending compassion to yourself and others, you create space for healing and transformation to occur. Letting go of resentment opens the door to inner peace and liberation, allowing you to move forward with clarity and purpose. 

In the pursuit of professional success, prioritizing well-being is not a luxury but a necessity. By incorporating these empowering strategies into your daily life, you can transcend the grind and cultivate a sense of balance, purpose, and fulfillment. Remember, empowerment begins with a conscious choice to prioritize your well-being and invest in your growth. Embrace the journey, and watch yourself soar to new heights of success and happiness.

For customized nutrition and training plans, as well as contest prep coaching, contact Dr. Stacey Naito today!

Comparison Shopping Is Worth The Hassle

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How many of you do research before purchasing items online? I use several different apps on my computer to find the best deals, and have been pleasantly surprised by the difference in price between different sites. One example was when I wanted to purchase an overnight skin recovery balm, and initially looked on Amazon for it, where it was being sold for $55.00. One of the deal-finding apps which I have installed on my computer found the exact item being sold on another site for $26.45, so I jumped on that deal.

Over the past couple of years, I have discovered that Amazon often does not offer the best pricing, so I am thankful that I have a way to find better pricing elsewhere. I still use Amazon as a starting point, since the online shopping giant tends to have just about everything under the sun available, but then I employ the deal finders to help me find the best price available. It’s definitely not about being cheap, it’s about making sure that I don’t get gouged when making purchases. I highly recommend using price comparison browser extension apps to uncover the best deals available.

Reclaim Your Health Naturally With These Simple Lifestyle Changes

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Please check out this great article, written by Camille Johnson, who created https://bereaver.com

Photo via Pexels

Modern life, with its relentless pace and technological advances, often pulls us away from simple, natural practices that promote health and well-being. While conveniences abound, they sometimes come at the cost of our physical and mental health. By rediscovering and embracing natural methods to enhance our health, we can experience profound improvements in our overall quality of life. In this article, courtesy of StaceyNaito.com, we’ll go over several things you can do to feel better everyday.

Embrace Nature

Spending time in nature can significantly boost both your mental and physical health. The fresh air, sunlight, and green surroundings help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and improve mood. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or a day at the beach, engaging with the natural world rejuvenates your body and mind. Regular outdoor activities also promote physical fitness, enhance overall well-being, and contribute to a healthier lifestyle.

Perfect Posture

Practicing good posture is essential to prevent physical strain and maintain musculoskeletal health. Poor posture can lead to chronic pain in your back, neck, and shoulders, and may cause long-term damage if not corrected. If you work from home, investing in ergonomic furniture can encourage good posture while preventing wear and tear on your back, neck, and shoulders. Simple exercises and mindful sitting and standing can make a significant difference.

The Power of Herbs

Considering herbal supplements for minor ailments can be a wise and natural choice. Many herbs, such as ginger for nausea, peppermint for digestion, and chamomile for sleep, have been used for centuries with great success. Herbal remedies often have fewer side effects compared to conventional medicines, making them a safer alternative for treating everyday health issues. Always research and consult a healthcare professional before adding new supplements to your routine.

Minimize Chemical Exposure

Reducing your exposure to harmful chemicals in cleaning products and cosmetics is crucial for maintaining good health. Many commercial products contain toxic substances that can cause skin irritation, respiratory issues, and other health problems. Opting for natural cleaning agents like vinegar, baking soda, and essential oils, and choosing organic, chemical-free cosmetics can protect you from these risks. Making your own products can also be an empowering and satisfying way to take control of your environment.

Laughter and Joy

Incorporating humor and laughter into your daily routine can have a profound impact on your well-being. Laughter reduces stress hormones, increases endorphins, and boosts your immune system. Watching a funny movie, reading a humorous book, or sharing jokes with friends can lift your spirits and improve your health. Remember, laughter is not just a temporary escape; it’s a vital aspect of a balanced life that fosters long-term happiness and resilience.

Stress Reduction

Engaging in stress-reducing activities like yoga or pursuing hobbies can greatly enhance your mental and physical health. Yoga combines physical exercise with mindfulness, helping to reduce anxiety and improve flexibility. Pursuing hobbies you love can also provide a necessary escape from daily stressors, allowing you to unwind and recharge. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or playing an instrument, these activities can bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of accomplishment, contributing to overall well-being.

Focus on Gratitude

Keeping a gratitude journal to focus on the positive aspects of life is a simple yet powerful tool for improving mental health. Writing down things you are thankful for can shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones, fostering a more optimistic outlook. This practice can enhance your mood, increase resilience, and promote overall emotional well-being. Taking a few minutes each day to reflect on your blessings can lead to lasting happiness.

Embracing natural methods for health and well-being fosters a balanced and fulfilling life. By integrating these natural approaches into your daily routine, you can achieve a healthier, happier life, reaping the benefits of a more holistic approach to well-being and long-lasting vitality.

How Do You Use A Bidet?

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Modern bidet in my master bath

Bidets have surged in popularity over the past four years, primarily due to COVID lockdown restrictions and the toilet paper shortage. But while over 80% of households in Japan have bidets, the United States only boasts about 6% of households which feature bidets, even post-COVID. As someone who has a bidet, and had basic bidet attachments since 2016, I strongly believe that they are far superior to toilet paper and wipes for cleaning the area down under, and they result in a dramatic decrease in toilet paper use. Bidets are environmentally friendly, hygienic, and generally better for your bottom.

Since most American households don’t have bidets, I thought I would share the following video so that you will know what to do if you find yourself perched on a bidet toilet while visiting friends, and are curious about how to use one:

https://youtu.be/y9GqnTpj2So?si=4mXz0ijpLz-9xo0B

I encourage those of you who haven’t used a bidet before to try one when you get the chance. I know the sensation of having water shooting up your keister hole is very strange, but once you get over the initial shock, I promise that you will feel so clean after you use it. No amount of wiping with toilet paper will ever get you completely clean, but water will definitely wash all the residue away.

The history of the bidet is also quite interesting, as bidets were originally an upgrade from a chamber pot. For more information on the history of the bidet, check out this great article:

https://bidetgenius.com/pages/complete-history-of-the-bidet#:~:text=As%20far%20as%20historians%20can,with%20them%20on%20extended%20trips.

Bidets Are The Bomb

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I am a huge fan of bidets, and truly believe that they are far superior for cleaning the nether regions than toilet paper. When I first got a bidet attachment back in 2016 (pictured below), I ordered two basic units for two different toilets. Because the attachments were very basic, I eventually became accustomed to the jet of cold water which would shoot out.

My first bidet toilet attachment, 2016

Then I visited Japan for the first time in 2020, and all the fancy bidet toilets there completely dazzled me. They were a far cry from the odd-looking bidets I saw in the late 1970’s in the bathrooms of affluent people. In fact, I used to think that only rich people ever bothered to have bidets in their homes, since they had separate plumbing and were not integrated into a toilet design. The bidet toilets in Japan had warm water, dryers, privacy music, and motion-detectors in the lid, and many of them greeted with a welcoming, opening toilet lid and privacy music.

After that Japan trip, I vowed that I would eventually get a fancy Japanese style bidet toilet. I finally got my chance to have an electric bidet toilet seat installed when the toilet in my master bath had to be replaced last November. I bought a model that doesn’t have a motion detector in the lid or privacy music, but all of the other bells and whistles are on the model I have, and I couldn’t be happier. I can’t even imagine life without one of these modern bidet toilet seats.

Blooming Bidet Seat

Why Street Kart Racing in Japan is a Must-Do

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I recently visited Japan in April and May, and even included a little hop over to South Korea, which was lovely. The cadence of my second trip to Japan was quite different than my first trip in 2020, partially due to the fact that we were concentrating two main areas (Tokyo and Kyoto), rather than scanning the entire country like I did on my first visit. I also made sure to see different areas in Tokyo and Kyoto than I had in 2020, including areas like Harajuku.

Perhaps the biggest highlight of our stay in Tokyo in particular was the two-hour Street Kart Racing event we took part in one evening in the Akihabara district of Tokyo. We donned more sedate haori jackets in preparation for our outing, while the other two participants decided to go full bore with Hopeful Heart Care Bear and Stitch onesies, both of which were hilarious. After a brief lesson on how to operate the karts, we were on our way, a single-line procession of gas-powered street karts on an adventure in Tokyo!

Here is a video I found on YouTube from RCBtrips which shows part of the route we took. It was far more fun and interesting for us to begin our drive at 6 pm, shortly before sunset, then continue our crawl at night, because we were able to see the transition to the display of lights throughout the city.

https://youtu.be/MGbw61MakcU?si=QYecG0FDgiMZJXra

Perhaps the best aspect of driving for two hours on the streets of Tokyo, other than the absolute thrill of driving with the wind in your face, is the fact that this is one of the best ways to see Tokyo. You get to see the lay of the land, and while driving, you are bound to see areas which you want to visit later. I would absolutely recommend this adventure to anyone who is willing to get behind the wheel in a foreign country. It certainly was a lot more fun than the 23-hour stress bomb that characterized my driving experience on Koh Samui, Thailand in 2022. As long as you are willing to obtain an international driver’s permit from AAA (if you reside in the U.S.), you can experience an awesome driving adventure in Japan!

I used Klook to book my driving adventure. Click here to book yours!

If You Have To Carry Credit Card Balances, You Can’t Afford Stuff

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I’m sure that the title of this blog post will irk some people, and that’s actually part of the point. Unless you use credit cards only to make large purchases which you will pay in full when you receive the credit card bill, you are playing with fire. Using unsecured credit and carrying balances are sure signs that you cannot afford the items you are buying. I know these are strong words, but credit card debt remains one of the most insidious and dangerous types of debt to carry.

Here are some key reasons why it is so difficult to pay off credit card balances:

  1. You don’t prepare to pay the balance each month, so the amount continues to grow until it becomes unmanageable.
  2. Interest rates change over time, and if you miss a payment, make a late payment, or go over limit, your interest rate will syrocket, digging the debt hole even deeper.
  3. You don’t have enough wiggle room in your budget to make more than the minimum payment each month, so the interest charges often exceed the minimum payment amount, and you slide even more into debt.

As someone who had struggled with credit card debt twice in my life, I know firsthand how much of a challenge it is to surmount such obstacles and get out of debt, but I also know that IT CAN BE DONE. The first time I racked up credit card debt ($30,000 in my 20’s), I eventually managed to pay it all off, then 20 years later, I found myself saddled with $40,000 of credit card debt. Once that was paid off in its entirety, I completely changed my attitude towards credit cards and with money in general, and have spent over a decade with zero credit card debt. I absolutely refuse to go down that road ever again.

If you need to pick up a side gig to make some extra money to pay extra over the minimum monthly payments, then definitely do it. You can either tackle the smallest balance first and work up, or tackle the balance with the highest APR and work down, until everything is paid off. When starting out, just focus on paying extra on the first card, and pay the minimum on the other cards. Once the first card is paid off, employ the “snowball effect” and apply the extra dollar amount you were paying towards the first card to the next card. Continue this strategy until you pay everything off. I have done this, and it absolutely works.

Another thing to consider is to sell items in your home that you don’t need, and apply those funds towards your credit card bills. Once your credit card debt is paid off, keep the card accounts open to ensure that your credit is not damaged by closing accounts. However, cut up the cards, and do NOT use the accounts at all. What I did for the first year after paying off my credit card debt was to use a debit card to keep my spending in check, since the funds were coming directly from my checking account.

Having been completely free of credit card debt and a car note for close to ten years, I feel incredibly liberated and financially healthy. Trust me when I say that paying off your credit cards, and never jumping back into the pool of credit card debt, is the most wonderful feeling ever.