I have lived with cats for close to 38 years, and until several months ago when I got my now 1-year-old cat Sumi, I never experienced a duo of cats who had their own secret language. Sumi was introduced into the household in June, and she quickly bonded with my 2-1/2-year-old cat Koji, which made perfect sense since she was only six months old at the time and wasn’t nearly as interested in being around my two senior cats. A couple of weeks later, I started hearing some very bizarre vocalizations which I knew were coming from Sumi or Koji, but I wasn’t sure which one was making these noises.
The vocalizations I am referring to sound like a combination of meowing and cooing, and they are only heard when Koji and Sumi are play-fighting. Initially, I had assumed that the sounds were emanating from Koji, so I started watching the two kids so that I could find out which feline was making such bizarre noises. I was able to confirm on two occasions that Koji was making those utterances, but then a couple of other times, I distinctly saw that Sumi was the one with her mouth open, creating those sounds. There was also one instance in which I saw both cats making their ridiculous babble, and they were actually doing it in sequence, as if they were communicating with each other.
I have determined that Koji is the instigator, and definitely chatters at Sumi more than she does with him, but they both engage in this adorable and funny vocal interchange quite frequently during playtime.
Training a cat or kitten to learn its name and do basic tricks can be a rewarding experience, but it requires patience and positive reinforcement. I know first-hand that it is indeed possible for cats to play fetch, beg, and sit because I have had numerous cats who were able to understand and perform such commands. My cats also know their names and will come (barring any feline defiance which can kick in at times) when called.
The most basic command which most people would like their pets to learn is to respond to their names and come when called by name. Here are some steps and tips which you can use to reinforce your cat’s learning.
Choose a Short and Distinct Name: Select a name for your cat that is short, distinct, and easy to pronounce. Cats tend to respond better to names with one or two syllables. Use the chosen name consistently. All of my cats have two-syllable names which are easy to pronounce.
Establish a Connection: Spend quality time with your cat to build a bond and trust. Petting, playing, and providing treats are all ways to create a positive association with you. In fact, I would say treats are essential when getting a cat or dog to learn its name, as it serves as positive reinforcement.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Cats respond well to positive reinforcement, such as treats, praise, and petting. Reward your cat when it responds to its name or successfully completes a trick.
Start with Name Recognition: To teach your cat its name, use a calm and friendly tone. Say the cat’s name while making eye contact. When the cat responds, reward it with a treat or affection. Repeat this regularly.
Be Patient: Cats may take time to recognize their name and respond. Don’t get discouraged if they don’t respond immediately. Be patient and consistent in your efforts.
Teach Basic Tricks: When it comes to teaching tricks, start with simple ones like “sit” or “come.” Use treats and positive reinforcement to guide your cat into the desired behavior.
Use Clicker Training: Clicker training can be effective for cats. Associate the sound of a clicker with treats, and use it to mark desired behaviors. Click when the cat responds to its name or performs a trick, followed by a treat.
Keep Training Sessions Short: Cats have shorter attention spans than dogs. Keep training sessions brief, around 5-10 minutes at a time. Multiple short sessions throughout the day can be more effective than one long session. My training sessions with my cats are very brief, about 3 to 5 minutes, and I truly believe that the brevity is what keeps my cats engaged.
Be Consistent: Consistency is key in cat training. Use the same command words and reward system every time. Avoid confusing your cat with different words or signals for the same behavior. I personally always use “sit” and “beg” when training Koji, my 2-1/2-year-old cat.
Stay Positive and Patient: Cats can be independent, so don’t scold or punish them if they don’t respond immediately. Always use positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors.
Adjust to Your Cat’s Personality: Every cat is unique, so be flexible in your training approach. Some cats may respond better to treats, while others may prefer play as a reward.
Practice Regularly: Regular practice and reinforcement are essential for your cat to retain what it has learned.
Remember that not all cats will learn tricks, and some may be more responsive than others. The key is to be patient, use positive reinforcement, and focus on building a strong bond with your cat. Training should be a fun and enjoyable experience for both you and your feline companion.
Here’s another update on my Hoya linearis collection from August 2023. I have one more update after this, in which I reveal the beautiful blooms which appeared on my longest Hoya linearis in September.
Wisteria is a beautiful vining plant which fascinates me, mostly because my surname means “among the wisteria”. However, I never knew how hardy wisteria was until very recently, so it holds even more symbolism for me now. The blossoms on a wisteria vine are absolutely gorgeous, but it turns out that the Chinese wisteria (Wisteria sinensis) and Japanese wisteria (Wisteria floribunda) are invasive when planted in gardens and forests in the United States. Evidently, the root system of a wisteria plant can extend up to one mile, which means that wisteria vines in yards across a neighborhood are most likely from a single specimen.
Here is a great video explanation of what non-native wisteria plants do in U.S. soil:
If you live in the United States and are considering planting wisteria, you might want to consider American wisteria (Wisteria frutescens), because it is far less aggressive than its Chinese or Japanese counterparts. Interestingly enough, the type of wisteria which is most commonly planted in American gardens is the Japanese version, and the wisteria plant which adorns the security gate where I live is the Japanese variety. That seems fitting for me, considering the meaning of my last name and the fact that it is a Japanese name!
There are two flights of stairs covered in Berber carpet in our place, and because one of my cats enjoys scratching Berber carpet, I purchased rug runners for the stairs shortly after we had moved in so that the carpet would be protected. Since each set of stairs has two L-turn stair landings, I had to purchase three separate rug runners for each set of stairs, but I had found some reasonably priced versions on Amazon. However, five years later, the rug runners were looking pretty shabby, partially because the scratch happy cat had switched to scratching the runners (never mind that he has had access to numerous scratching posts throughout the house), and partially because of wear and tear from foot traffic. The runners had definitely gotten to the point where they were a bit of an embarrassment, but since I remembered spending a small chunk of change on the existing runners, I wasn’t too eager to plunk down more money to get replacements.
However, I found myself anxious to shift the energy in my home after one of my cats and my mom died, so I went back onto Amazon to reorder the same runners. Unfortunately, the sellers I had purchased from before were no longer selling rug runners, and none of the other runners I found on Amazon were customizable to the dimensions which I needed. That spurred me to investigate other sites which specialized in rug runners, one of which actually had fair pricing, especially when compared to a couple of other sites which were prohibitively expensive. I placed my order at the end of July and was thrilled when the runners arrived within four business days.
The uninstallation of the old rug runners was exhausting and took about two and half times longer than the installation of the new rug runners, but once the old ones were removed and replaced by the new ones, the place was transformed into a much more welcoming home. I even decided to place patterned runners in one stairway, and though I was initially very nervous about how they would look, I absolutely love them. The quality of the new runners is far superior to the old ones, with a nice, springy feel under the feet. If you are in the market for rug runners of any kind (kitchen, stairs, hallways), I would definitely recommend runrug.com,
This is the first runner for the first set of stairs…
This is the main stretch of runner for the first flight of stairs
The third runner for the first flight of stairs
Our new Afrikans print taupe runners for the second flight of stairs
Second runner…
The final runner for the second flight of stairs
I hope that these new rug runners last for a very long time!
Last year right around Christmas, I taught my dear friend Karla how to make origami cranes, and though she struggled at first, she began to get the hang of making them. She thought they were pretty neat, and asked if they were ever made for a specific purpose, so I told her about the tradition of making one thousand cranes and stringing them up to hang for a number of different occasions, including making a wish for an ill person’s recovery, the birth of a child, wedding blessings, or to grant good luck within a home. Senbazuru (a thousand cranes) is the Japanese way to make a wish and bless it so that it might come true.
Emma Taggert offers an explanation of how the origami crane emerged in Japanese culture:
“The tradition of the Japanese orizuru (ori– “folded,” tsuru “crane”), or paper crane, began in feudal Japan (1185–1603 CE), when people gifted each other the paper figures as symbols of honor and loyalty. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that the art of the origami crane was officially recorded. Hiden Senbazuru Orikata (“Secret to Folding One-thousand Cranes”), published in Japan in 1797, is the first known book on origami. It features the earliest known instructions on how to make origami cranes, along with countless examples of different kinds.”
Since I grew up making origami cranes, I can quite literally make them with my eyes closed, but I understand that for someone who is unfamiliar with origami, making that first crane can be a challenge. Here is a video tutorial for those of you who want to learn how to make one:
For those of you who already know how to make origami cranes, you might want to challenge yourself with renzuru, a form of origami in which multiple forms are made from a single piece of paper:
Getting back to my friend Karla, she amazed me in July when she gifted me with a thousand cranes for my birthday. I wasted no time in gettting a dowel and hooks for the cranes so that I could display them in my living room. Once they were hung, I realize I had chosen a great spot because during the day, the cranes catch the sunlight, and in the evening, the uplights which I have behind my sofa impart a lovely glow on them.
On May 12, 2023, I lost Kazu, my 14-year old European Burmese who was truly the most incredible cat I have ever had. She had countless adorable habits, including hopping instead of walking downstairs, performing somersaults on the stairs on a daily basis, and lying in a human’s lap on her back with all four limbs perched in mid-air, purring so fiercely that her limbs would move in rhythm with the rumble. One of my favorite things about Kazu was the fact that she would sleep next to me every night, throughout the night, and her purr motor would start up as soon as she saw my eyes open in the morning. There were also times when Kazu would be the big spoon, putting her cute little paws on my back and nestling in my hair as I slept on my side turned away from her.
Every night, Kazu would bound up the stairs to our bedroom, hop onto the bed, wait for me to settle in under the covers and lift them for her, then she would get into position so that her body would be under the covers and her head would be either on my shoulder, arm, or on the pillow next to me, with her body snuggled up right next to mine. It’s no surprise that I haven’t been able to sleep very well since she passed. What’s even more remarkable is that I had three cats in succession from 1988 through 2023 who were my bed buddies, and all of them were my “little spoons”.
The first little spoon I had was Pebbles, a tortie who was full of tortie sass, had a loud purr similar to Kazu’s which could be heard from an adjacent room, and who would sleep next to me through the night every night. She was in my life from 1988 until 2000, when kidney disease took her from me. Before Pebbles died, I got a blue silver patched spotted tabby and white Scottish Fold kitten in November 2000 and named her Sophie. Little did I know that Sophie would soon take over as my little spoon, curling up next to me, often in the crook of my arm, and sleep throughout the night that way.
My Scottish Fold Sophie…
Sophie developed polycystic kidney disease at the age of 9, in 2009, which was when I got Kazu. When Sophie died in late 2009, Kazu had not yet developed any consistent bed habits, but before long, she began sleeping next to me in bed, and became my third little spoon. Anyone who is lucky enough to have a cat who sleeps snuggled up next to them throughout the night is blessed indeed, and I had three cats do that over the span of 35 years. I certainly hope to experience that again in the future.
Dr. Stacey Naito of Dr. Stacey Naito’s Blog is a board-certified family practice physician with a wide range of interests that she shares with readers. Read more informative articles today!
What To Do When Your Parents Need Different Types of Senior Care
As your parents age, they may need help finding senior care or an alternative living situation. When that time comes, you may be faced with an unexpected challenge — figuring out what to do when only one parent needs to move into a nursing home. Dr. Stacey Naito of Dr. Stacey Naito’s Blog explains that by involving your parents and handling the process with compassion, you can create a smooth, loving transition.
Choosing a Nursing Home
The right nursing home is essential for your parents’ comfort, health, and financial stability. As you choose a facility, follow these steps:
Verify insurance coverage. Find out how much your parents’ plan will pay each month.
Identify appropriate facilities. Find nursing homes that accept your parents’ insurance and fulfill their care requirements. Go online to find the facilities in your area and read up on pricing information, payment options, and reviews. You’ll find nearly 80 assisted living communities in Los Angeles.
Determine excess costs. Calculate the extra monthly costs for each facility.
Make a short list. Select facilities that fit your budget, care, and location preferences.
Read reviews. Look into the reputation, quality of care, and services at each facility.
Visit facilities. Bring both of your parents to check out your top 3-5 nursing homes. Look at factors such as cleanliness, activities, and interpersonal relationships.
Ask about openings. Find out when a room or bed will open.
Paying for a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility
In the United States, US News & World Report notes that the average room in a nursing home costs more than $100,000 per year. For a shared room, you can expect costs of more than $93,000 per year. Some ways to cover nursing home costs are:
Medicaid
Long-term care insurance
Life insurance
Savings and retirement income
Family contributions
Keep in mind that costs can vary significantly between states and cities. If you live in a different city, you might save money by moving your parents to a nursing home near you.
Helping Your Other Parent Downsize
Maintaining a home is a big job; when one parent moves into a nursing home, your other parent may want to move as well. Some options are:
When your parents are moving to different places, you’ll need to deal with two moves. A moving company can make the transition easier for everyone; they can handle the packing and the heavy lifting so you can focus on your parents. For safety and security, choose a trusted company by reading moving company reviews online and selecting the best one. Ideally, the moving company you choose has experience with senior moves.
Providing Compassionate Help to Aging Parents
Moving your parents into separate homes can be emotional and exhausting for everyone involved. As an adult child, DailyCaring points out that all of the stress can make it harder to remain compassionate. To ease the process, you can:
Hire a senior move manager. They’ll help with sorting, organizing, and selling belongings during the downsizing process.
Take personal time. Make time for your friends and favorite activities.
Ask relatives for help. Don’t be afraid to lean on siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Get support. Join a support group to express your emotions in a safe place.
Managing the Senior Care Process
With patience and compassion, you can help both of your parents settle into new homes. Remember to put a lot thought into choosing the right senior living facility, paying for continued care, helping with downsizing, and providing all the care you can.
The third and final installment in my blog series on nightmare roommates is devoted to Lorraine, a woman with a whole host of mental issues, a nasty attitude, and a sense of entitlement the size of Texas. When my other roommate Myra (who is incidentally the best roommate I have ever had, and a very dear friend) and I met Lorraine, we could see that she was pretty dramatic, but we both attributed it to the fact that she was a professional dancer. We all seemed to get along nicely though, and Lorraine moved in.
About a month after Lorraine moved in, a bizarre incident occurred. Myra and I were in the kitchen chatting, and at one point I opened up the freezer to get a bag of shrimp out to thaw. When I did so, I noticed that two bags of ground coffee which I had bought had been opened. I pulled them out of the freezer and noticed that one bag had about 2 tablespoons left in it, while the other had just over a teaspoon. I asked Myra if she had opened up the bags of coffee, and she told me that she hadn’t, to which I replied, “Ok, it had to have been Lorraine. I’ll talk to her later about it.” Myra and I continued to chat about other topics, and I started the thawing process on the shrimp.
A few minutes later, Lorraine stomped down the stairs, looking very angry. She said, “Oh my God, so you’re talking about me behind my back?” Myra and I just looked at each other, because we were both so taken aback by Lorraine’s accusation. I told Lorraine, “Oh not at all, I just figured I’d talk to you about the whole coffee thing, because the coffee which is in the main tin is what is community property, not the unopened bags I have in the freezer.” Lorraine immediately retorted, “YOU said the coffee was for EVERYONE. Well, you know what? I won’t touch ANY of your stuff ever again!”, then marched back up the stairs and slammed her door. Two minutes later, her door opened, and she came down the stairs with her phone in hand, yelling to the person on the other line (turned out it was her grandmother) that she couldn’t take it anymore, that she had just been disrespected, etc. She went down to the first floor, slammed the front door, and was gone for several minutes. Then she re-entered the house, still on the phone, still yelling at her grandmother, went up to her bedroom on the third floor and slammed the door. This pattern continued for another 15 minutes or so, in which she would come up the stairs, slam her door, then walk down the stairs and outside repeatedly.
Lorraine refused to talk to Myra or me for a couple of weeks, then she sent a series of text messages to us both in which she apologized profusely for her outburst, told us she loved and respected us both, and wanted good blood between us. I was startled by Lorraine’s complete change in behavior and began developing a mistrust of her behavior, especially because she would often burst into the house yelling at someone on the phone. She suffered from severe depression and also developed some strange physical symptoms which she was sure stemmed from some deadly and incurable disease.
Incident number two occurred several months after the first one. Lorraine had informed me that the latch on the sliding glass door which led to our balcony wasn’t working, and she asked me to look at it when I got home. I had been working all weekend at a fitness expo and had gotten into a heated argument with my booth mate during the drive back, so I was in no mood to repair a sliding glass door latch. Nevertheless, Lorraine chose to ignore the fact that I was in a bad mood, and badgered me to take a look at the latch. I fiddled with the latch for a couple of minutes but was unable to fix it, and I told her that I would look at it later. Lorraine promptly started screaming, “WHAT? WHAT? That’s unacceptable! You don’t talk to me like that!”, and I was completely stunned by her outburst. She ran upstairs, slammed her door, then opened it a couple of minutes later, stormed down the stairs and out the front door, her phone in hand, yelling at her grandmother about what a bitch I was. She continued this up the stairs, down the stairs ritual numerous times in the span of about ten minutes. Once again, I got the silent treatment from Lorraine for about two weeks, followed by a stream of apology texts.
The third time Lorraine went off on me was after she had been living in the house for over a year. I had returned from a trip to Denver late at night, and I was exhausted. I was at the kitchen sink washing cat dishes, when Lorraine entered the house, walked up to the second floor, and with a flourish, said “Hello…” (her typical tone when she was begging for attention), to which I replied, “Oh, hi.” She said, “What are you doing?”, and I replied that I was washing cat dishes, that I had just gotten home from a trip. Suddenly, she said, “No NO NO! I don’t like your ENERGY! I don’t have to put up with this bullshit!”, and she clumped up the stairs. You guessed it, Lorraine made a phone call, rushed down the stairs and outside, then continued the sequence a bunch of times before returning to her room and slamming the door.
I went upstairs to my bedroom around 11 pm and crawled into bed. Around 12:15 am, I woke up to the sound of Lorraine’s hair dryer, so I texted her with, “Hey, I’m trying to sleep. Would you mind not blow drying your hair so late? Thanks.” I immediately got a nasty response from her in which she stated that she had the right to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, that I had no right to just text her, and that if I had a problem with something, that I should speak to her in person. I told her that since it was so late, and I was IN BED, that speaking to her in person didn’t seem feasible.
Lorraine didn’t speak a word to me for 5 weeks. Then one day, she texted me, saying that she wanted to check in with me to see what I wanted her to do with catsitting (I had a 14 day trip to Japan approaching), and that she was delighted to do whatever I needed her to do. By this time I was so terrified of her and so accustomed to walking on eggshells whenever she was around that I didn’t even know how to proceed. I haltingly agreed to let her catsit, and never addressed her outburst from 5 weeks prior.
Finally, after over a year and a half of living with this woman, she submitted her 30 day notice of vacancy. The weekend that she entered the house to remove her belongings, she became hostile towards me and even threatened to punch me at one point. I was already at the point where I was totally willing to call the cops, and I told her so, which convinced her to rethink the idea of assaulting her roommate. She made such a mess on the walls of her bedroom that I had to have the entire room repainted, an expense which was covered by a portion of her security deposit.
I truly hope that I never have any more awful roommates, because I have paid my dues by enduring unacceptable living situations with some pretty messed up people!
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