Here’s another update on my Hoya linearis collection from August 2023. I have one more update after this, in which I reveal the beautiful blooms which appeared on my longest Hoya linearis in September.
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Wisteria Strong
Wisteria is a beautiful vining plant which fascinates me, mostly because my surname means “among the wisteria”. However, I never knew how hardy wisteria was until very recently, so it holds even more symbolism for me now. The blossoms on a wisteria vine are absolutely gorgeous, but it turns out that the Chinese wisteria (Wisteria sinensis) and Japanese wisteria (Wisteria floribunda) are invasive when planted in gardens and forests in the United States. Evidently, the root system of a wisteria plant can extend up to one mile, which means that wisteria vines in yards across a neighborhood are most likely from a single specimen.
Here is a great video explanation of what non-native wisteria plants do in U.S. soil:
If you live in the United States and are considering planting wisteria, you might want to consider American wisteria (Wisteria frutescens), because it is far less aggressive than its Chinese or Japanese counterparts. Interestingly enough, the type of wisteria which is most commonly planted in American gardens is the Japanese version, and the wisteria plant which adorns the security gate where I live is the Japanese variety. That seems fitting for me, considering the meaning of my last name and the fact that it is a Japanese name!
New Rug Runners For Our Stairs
There are two flights of stairs covered in Berber carpet in our place, and because one of my cats enjoys scratching Berber carpet, I purchased rug runners for the stairs shortly after we had moved in so that the carpet would be protected. Since each set of stairs has two L-turn stair landings, I had to purchase three separate rug runners for each set of stairs, but I had found some reasonably priced versions on Amazon. However, five years later, the rug runners were looking pretty shabby, partially because the scratch happy cat had switched to scratching the runners (never mind that he has had access to numerous scratching posts throughout the house), and partially because of wear and tear from foot traffic. The runners had definitely gotten to the point where they were a bit of an embarrassment, but since I remembered spending a small chunk of change on the existing runners, I wasn’t too eager to plunk down more money to get replacements.
However, I found myself anxious to shift the energy in my home after one of my cats and my mom died, so I went back onto Amazon to reorder the same runners. Unfortunately, the sellers I had purchased from before were no longer selling rug runners, and none of the other runners I found on Amazon were customizable to the dimensions which I needed. That spurred me to investigate other sites which specialized in rug runners, one of which actually had fair pricing, especially when compared to a couple of other sites which were prohibitively expensive. I placed my order at the end of July and was thrilled when the runners arrived within four business days.
The uninstallation of the old rug runners was exhausting and took about two and half times longer than the installation of the new rug runners, but once the old ones were removed and replaced by the new ones, the place was transformed into a much more welcoming home. I even decided to place patterned runners in one stairway, and though I was initially very nervous about how they would look, I absolutely love them. The quality of the new runners is far superior to the old ones, with a nice, springy feel under the feet. If you are in the market for rug runners of any kind (kitchen, stairs, hallways), I would definitely recommend runrug.com,
This is the first runner for the first set of stairs…
This is the main stretch of runner for the first flight of stairs
The third runner for the first flight of stairs
Our new Afrikans print taupe runners for the second flight of stairs
Second runner…
The final runner for the second flight of stairs
I hope that these new rug runners last for a very long time!
One Thousand Cranes
Copyright: olegdudko
Last year right around Christmas, I taught my dear friend Karla how to make origami cranes, and though she struggled at first, she began to get the hang of making them. She thought they were pretty neat, and asked if they were ever made for a specific purpose, so I told her about the tradition of making one thousand cranes and stringing them up to hang for a number of different occasions, including making a wish for an ill person’s recovery, the birth of a child, wedding blessings, or to grant good luck within a home. Senbazuru (a thousand cranes) is the Japanese way to make a wish and bless it so that it might come true.
Emma Taggert offers an explanation of how the origami crane emerged in Japanese culture:
“The tradition of the Japanese orizuru (ori– “folded,” tsuru “crane”), or paper crane, began in feudal Japan (1185–1603 CE), when people gifted each other the paper figures as symbols of honor and loyalty. However, it wasn’t until the 16th century that the art of the origami crane was officially recorded. Hiden Senbazuru Orikata (“Secret to Folding One-thousand Cranes”), published in Japan in 1797, is the first known book on origami. It features the earliest known instructions on how to make origami cranes, along with countless examples of different kinds.”
Since I grew up making origami cranes, I can quite literally make them with my eyes closed, but I understand that for someone who is unfamiliar with origami, making that first crane can be a challenge. Here is a video tutorial for those of you who want to learn how to make one:
For those of you who already know how to make origami cranes, you might want to challenge yourself with renzuru, a form of origami in which multiple forms are made from a single piece of paper:
Getting back to my friend Karla, she amazed me in July when she gifted me with a thousand cranes for my birthday. I wasted no time in gettting a dowel and hooks for the cranes so that I could display them in my living room. Once they were hung, I realize I had chosen a great spot because during the day, the cranes catch the sunlight, and in the evening, the uplights which I have behind my sofa impart a lovely glow on them.
Little Spoons
Kazu, the best little spoon ever…
On May 12, 2023, I lost Kazu, my 14-year old European Burmese who was truly the most incredible cat I have ever had. She had countless adorable habits, including hopping instead of walking downstairs, performing somersaults on the stairs on a daily basis, and lying in a human’s lap on her back with all four limbs perched in mid-air, purring so fiercely that her limbs would move in rhythm with the rumble. One of my favorite things about Kazu was the fact that she would sleep next to me every night, throughout the night, and her purr motor would start up as soon as she saw my eyes open in the morning. There were also times when Kazu would be the big spoon, putting her cute little paws on my back and nestling in my hair as I slept on my side turned away from her.
Every night, Kazu would bound up the stairs to our bedroom, hop onto the bed, wait for me to settle in under the covers and lift them for her, then she would get into position so that her body would be under the covers and her head would be either on my shoulder, arm, or on the pillow next to me, with her body snuggled up right next to mine. It’s no surprise that I haven’t been able to sleep very well since she passed. What’s even more remarkable is that I had three cats in succession from 1988 through 2023 who were my bed buddies, and all of them were my “little spoons”.
The first little spoon I had was Pebbles, a tortie who was full of tortie sass, had a loud purr similar to Kazu’s which could be heard from an adjacent room, and who would sleep next to me through the night every night. She was in my life from 1988 until 2000, when kidney disease took her from me. Before Pebbles died, I got a blue silver patched spotted tabby and white Scottish Fold kitten in November 2000 and named her Sophie. Little did I know that Sophie would soon take over as my little spoon, curling up next to me, often in the crook of my arm, and sleep throughout the night that way.
My Scottish Fold Sophie…
Sophie developed polycystic kidney disease at the age of 9, in 2009, which was when I got Kazu. When Sophie died in late 2009, Kazu had not yet developed any consistent bed habits, but before long, she began sleeping next to me in bed, and became my third little spoon. Anyone who is lucky enough to have a cat who sleeps snuggled up next to them throughout the night is blessed indeed, and I had three cats do that over the span of 35 years. I certainly hope to experience that again in the future.
Bathing My Cats
What To Do When Your Parents Need Different Types of Senior Care
Written by Julia Merril of befriendyourdoc.org
Dr. Stacey Naito of Dr. Stacey Naito’s Blog is a board-certified family practice physician with a wide range of interests that she shares with readers. Read more informative articles today!
Image via Pexels
What To Do When Your Parents Need Different Types of Senior Care
As your parents age, they may need help finding senior care or an alternative living situation. When that time comes, you may be faced with an unexpected challenge — figuring out what to do when only one parent needs to move into a nursing home. Dr. Stacey Naito of Dr. Stacey Naito’s Blog explains that by involving your parents and handling the process with compassion, you can create a smooth, loving transition.
Choosing a Nursing Home
The right nursing home is essential for your parents’ comfort, health, and financial stability. As you choose a facility, follow these steps:
- Verify insurance coverage. Find out how much your parents’ plan will pay each month.
- Identify appropriate facilities. Find nursing homes that accept your parents’ insurance and fulfill their care requirements. Go online to find the facilities in your area and read up on pricing information, payment options, and reviews. You’ll find nearly 80 assisted living communities in Los Angeles.
- Determine excess costs. Calculate the extra monthly costs for each facility.
- Make a short list. Select facilities that fit your budget, care, and location preferences.
- Read reviews. Look into the reputation, quality of care, and services at each facility.
- Visit facilities. Bring both of your parents to check out your top 3-5 nursing homes. Look at factors such as cleanliness, activities, and interpersonal relationships.
- Ask about openings. Find out when a room or bed will open.
Paying for a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility
In the United States, US News & World Report notes that the average room in a nursing home costs more than $100,000 per year. For a shared room, you can expect costs of more than $93,000 per year. Some ways to cover nursing home costs are:
- Medicaid
- Long-term care insurance
- Life insurance
- Savings and retirement income
- Family contributions
Keep in mind that costs can vary significantly between states and cities. If you live in a different city, you might save money by moving your parents to a nursing home near you.
Helping Your Other Parent Downsize
Maintaining a home is a big job; when one parent moves into a nursing home, your other parent may want to move as well. Some options are:
- Move the parent in with you or a sibling
- Find a smaller apartment or condo near the nursing home
- Rent a room in an assisted living facility
When your parents are moving to different places, you’ll need to deal with two moves. A moving company can make the transition easier for everyone; they can handle the packing and the heavy lifting so you can focus on your parents. For safety and security, choose a trusted company by reading moving company reviews online and selecting the best one. Ideally, the moving company you choose has experience with senior moves.
Providing Compassionate Help to Aging Parents
Moving your parents into separate homes can be emotional and exhausting for everyone involved. As an adult child, DailyCaring points out that all of the stress can make it harder to remain compassionate. To ease the process, you can:
- Hire a senior move manager. They’ll help with sorting, organizing, and selling belongings during the downsizing process.
- Take personal time. Make time for your friends and favorite activities.
- Ask relatives for help. Don’t be afraid to lean on siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
- Get support. Join a support group to express your emotions in a safe place.
Managing the Senior Care Process
With patience and compassion, you can help both of your parents settle into new homes. Remember to put a lot thought into choosing the right senior living facility, paying for continued care, helping with downsizing, and providing all the care you can.
Bad Roommates – Lorraine
The third and final installment in my blog series on nightmare roommates is devoted to Lorraine, a woman with a whole host of mental issues, a nasty attitude, and a sense of entitlement the size of Texas. When my other roommate Myra (who is incidentally the best roommate I have ever had, and a very dear friend) and I met Lorraine, we could see that she was pretty dramatic, but we both attributed it to the fact that she was a professional dancer. We all seemed to get along nicely though, and Lorraine moved in.
About a month after Lorraine moved in, a bizarre incident occurred. Myra and I were in the kitchen chatting, and at one point I opened up the freezer to get a bag of shrimp out to thaw. When I did so, I noticed that two bags of ground coffee which I had bought had been opened. I pulled them out of the freezer and noticed that one bag had about 2 tablespoons left in it, while the other had just over a teaspoon. I asked Myra if she had opened up the bags of coffee, and she told me that she hadn’t, to which I replied, “Ok, it had to have been Lorraine. I’ll talk to her later about it.” Myra and I continued to chat about other topics, and I started the thawing process on the shrimp.
A few minutes later, Lorraine stomped down the stairs, looking very angry. She said, “Oh my God, so you’re talking about me behind my back?” Myra and I just looked at each other, because we were both so taken aback by Lorraine’s accusation. I told Lorraine, “Oh not at all, I just figured I’d talk to you about the whole coffee thing, because the coffee which is in the main tin is what is community property, not the unopened bags I have in the freezer.” Lorraine immediately retorted, “YOU said the coffee was for EVERYONE. Well, you know what? I won’t touch ANY of your stuff ever again!”, then marched back up the stairs and slammed her door. Two minutes later, her door opened, and she came down the stairs with her phone in hand, yelling to the person on the other line (turned out it was her grandmother) that she couldn’t take it anymore, that she had just been disrespected, etc. She went down to the first floor, slammed the front door, and was gone for several minutes. Then she re-entered the house, still on the phone, still yelling at her grandmother, went up to her bedroom on the third floor and slammed the door. This pattern continued for another 15 minutes or so, in which she would come up the stairs, slam her door, then walk down the stairs and outside repeatedly.
Lorraine refused to talk to Myra or me for a couple of weeks, then she sent a series of text messages to us both in which she apologized profusely for her outburst, told us she loved and respected us both, and wanted good blood between us. I was startled by Lorraine’s complete change in behavior and began developing a mistrust of her behavior, especially because she would often burst into the house yelling at someone on the phone. She suffered from severe depression and also developed some strange physical symptoms which she was sure stemmed from some deadly and incurable disease.
Incident number two occurred several months after the first one. Lorraine had informed me that the latch on the sliding glass door which led to our balcony wasn’t working, and she asked me to look at it when I got home. I had been working all weekend at a fitness expo and had gotten into a heated argument with my booth mate during the drive back, so I was in no mood to repair a sliding glass door latch. Nevertheless, Lorraine chose to ignore the fact that I was in a bad mood, and badgered me to take a look at the latch. I fiddled with the latch for a couple of minutes but was unable to fix it, and I told her that I would look at it later. Lorraine promptly started screaming, “WHAT? WHAT? That’s unacceptable! You don’t talk to me like that!”, and I was completely stunned by her outburst. She ran upstairs, slammed her door, then opened it a couple of minutes later, stormed down the stairs and out the front door, her phone in hand, yelling at her grandmother about what a bitch I was. She continued this up the stairs, down the stairs ritual numerous times in the span of about ten minutes. Once again, I got the silent treatment from Lorraine for about two weeks, followed by a stream of apology texts.
The third time Lorraine went off on me was after she had been living in the house for over a year. I had returned from a trip to Denver late at night, and I was exhausted. I was at the kitchen sink washing cat dishes, when Lorraine entered the house, walked up to the second floor, and with a flourish, said “Hello…” (her typical tone when she was begging for attention), to which I replied, “Oh, hi.” She said, “What are you doing?”, and I replied that I was washing cat dishes, that I had just gotten home from a trip. Suddenly, she said, “No NO NO! I don’t like your ENERGY! I don’t have to put up with this bullshit!”, and she clumped up the stairs. You guessed it, Lorraine made a phone call, rushed down the stairs and outside, then continued the sequence a bunch of times before returning to her room and slamming the door.
I went upstairs to my bedroom around 11 pm and crawled into bed. Around 12:15 am, I woke up to the sound of Lorraine’s hair dryer, so I texted her with, “Hey, I’m trying to sleep. Would you mind not blow drying your hair so late? Thanks.” I immediately got a nasty response from her in which she stated that she had the right to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, that I had no right to just text her, and that if I had a problem with something, that I should speak to her in person. I told her that since it was so late, and I was IN BED, that speaking to her in person didn’t seem feasible.
Lorraine didn’t speak a word to me for 5 weeks. Then one day, she texted me, saying that she wanted to check in with me to see what I wanted her to do with catsitting (I had a 14 day trip to Japan approaching), and that she was delighted to do whatever I needed her to do. By this time I was so terrified of her and so accustomed to walking on eggshells whenever she was around that I didn’t even know how to proceed. I haltingly agreed to let her catsit, and never addressed her outburst from 5 weeks prior.
Finally, after over a year and a half of living with this woman, she submitted her 30 day notice of vacancy. The weekend that she entered the house to remove her belongings, she became hostile towards me and even threatened to punch me at one point. I was already at the point where I was totally willing to call the cops, and I told her so, which convinced her to rethink the idea of assaulting her roommate. She made such a mess on the walls of her bedroom that I had to have the entire room repainted, an expense which was covered by a portion of her security deposit.
I truly hope that I never have any more awful roommates, because I have paid my dues by enduring unacceptable living situations with some pretty messed up people!
Bad Roommates – Richard
Part 2 of my blog series on horrible roommates continues today with Richard, who moved in with a 3 pound teacup Chihuahua named Lola and a 20 pound Chihuaha mix named Poopers. Richard was very forthright in telling me that he had previously dealt with a crystal meth addiction, but was fully recovered. To set my mind at ease, he gave me his father’s phone number and told me that if any issue ever arose with him, I could call his father and he would set everything straight. Richard then moved in, and told me that I would never have to worry about his dogs because he crated them at night in his room, and was completely responsible for their feeding, walks, and bathing. There were no issues with Richard for the first few months, and he was proud of himself because he had been able to continue his employment as a dog groomer, a job which he enjoyed immensely.
Then one Sunday morning, I was awakened at 4 am by the sound of Lola yelping and crying in Richard’s room. I walked across the hall to Richard’s room and knocked on the door, calling out for him. When there was no response, I opened the door to find the dogs in their respective crates, with food and water bowls on the opposite side of the room. The crate doors were closed and latched. I suddenly realized that I hadn’t seen Richard since Friday afternoon, and became very concerned that these poor pooches were trapped in their crates since then. I immediately took them out of their crates, put kibble in their food bowl, and filled their water bowl with water. Once they had something to eat and drink, I took them outside so that they could go to the bathroom and run around a bit. I ended up letting the dogs roam around the house, and spoke with my other roommate Paul later in the morning about splitting dog walking duties with him, to which he heartily agreed.
I dialed Richard’s dad’s number around noon that Sunday, and a young man answered. When I asked if Richard’s dad was there, I was informed that he was not there. I then asked if Richard happened to be there, and was told that he wasn’t there either, but my gut told me that he probably was there. So I told the guy who answered the call to inform his buddy Richard that he was in big trouble, and that because he had locked his dogs in crates for an extended period of time, I would be contacting animal rights organizations to report Richard.
Richard showed up two days later, but wouldn’t look me in the eye, and he looked like he had been tweaking. He apologized for the dogs, said he would take better care of them, and then left. This is when Richard began to exhibit some very bizarre behavior. He would sneak into the house very late at night, grab clothes or whatever else he needed, and then quickly leave without taking care of his dogs. Since I didn’t trust Richard, Paul and I continued to feed and walk the dogs, and we would crate them at night. Then after about two weeks of this pattern, Richard let the dogs out of the crates one night and then left. The next morning, the dogs had managed to urinate and defecate all over his bed, the carpeted floor, and a stack of his dirty clothing. It was like they lashed out at him by peeing and pooping everywhere. The situation was so bad that the smell of dog urine and feces had soaked into the floorboards, and even after I replaced the carpeting in that room, the faint odor of dog waste persisted.
The day after the dogs had their grand excretory event, I contacted an attorney and had an eviction letter drawn up which I put on Richard’s bedroom door and also sent to his dad. I also called him and left him a message letting him know I was looking into having the dogs rehomed immediately. It took several days for Richard to clear out his belongings, but he managed to empty the room, and he also unfortunately took the dogs with him. His security deposit was spent on replacement carpeting for the room.
I can only imagine what happened to Richard, but I assume that he fell completely back into his meth addiction.
Bad Roommates – Sean
Over the past 36 years, I have had a lot of roommates, some of whom were pretty cool, one who was awesome and became one of my dearest friends, and a handful who were such rotten people that it took me a while to recover from the craziness they brought into my home. The list of bad roommates is actually larger than I would like for it to be, but I figured I would select the three most despicable ones to discuss in this blog post. The ONLY reason why I have changed the names of these individuals in my stories is because one is certifiably nuts (borderline and histrionic personality disorder…no, I didn’t live with Amber Heard!), and the other two are addicts who can’t be trusted in any way, shape or form.
The first selection on my list of worst roommates ever was Sean, a very cocky Korean guy who assured me when he interviewed for the available room that he was a successful businessman with a number of businesses, one of which was the local Fosters Freeze. He stated that he needed to use my desktop computer in the den because his was at one of his offices and he was unable to access it on a regular basis. I agreed to let him use my computer, but I password protected all of my financial documents and other sensitive information.
In the mornings, Sean would come downstairs to the kitchen wearing a full business suit, and he would tell me about how busy the day ahead would be for him. Then I would leave for work, returning in the early evening to see Sean sitting on the sofa watching TV. The first hint that Sean was shady was when he asked me to please put his work van on my automobile insurance policy. He told me that the insurance rate was very high, and that by adding his vehicle onto my policy, the rates would drop for both our vehicles. He also promised to pay the entire premium. I firmly refused, even though he kept pleading with me to add his van, and he even insulted me, telling me that I was passing up an “excellent deal”.
During the time Sean was living in my house, we had a housekeeper who would clean every two weeks. One day, when she was finishing up her cleaning, she pulled me aside and said, “Miss Stacey, there’s something strange about Sean. When you are leaving for work, he is in a full business suit, but after you leave, he goes to his room, changes into a t-shirt and shorts, then goes down to the den and plays poker on your computer. He is still there when I am ready to leave. I just thought you should know.” My suspicions were ignited by this information, and I became very uncomfortable around him.
Ultimately, Sean just completely disappeared one day, and I couldn’t get in touch with him. So I ended up going to the Fosters Freeze since he had mentioned that he owned that business. I drove up and saw a Korean woman in the order window, so I figured she was Sean’s sister. I approached her and introduced myself, and then asked if she knew where Sean was, since I hadn’t seen him in close to a week. Her response was, “You’ve seen Sean? Come to the back entrance. We need to talk.”
Once I was at the back entrance, Sean’s sister proceeded to tell me that he was a gambling addict and had gotten into big trouble with a number of individuals who were after him for lost bets he never paid up on. She also told me that Sean had emptied out their parents’ savings accounts in a desperate effort to obtain more money, and what made that part of the story even worse was that she told me their father had cancer and was now unable to pay for chemotherapy treatments due to Sean’s theft. She told me to go into his room and just sell whatever might be of value, because she said he would never come back to the house. When I returned home, I went up to Sean’s room, where I found several pairs of crew socks and his bed. He had taken all of his Armani suits and other valuables and bolted.
Next week I will talk about another horrible roommate I had. It’s definitely been an adventure having roommates!
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