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My Mom’s Eulogy

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My mom was the type of woman who didn’t apologize for who she was, and she was fully aware of her abilities.  It always amused me how she made sure I knew how to use basic tools like hammers and screwdrivers, and wasn’t afraid to do things like assemble furniture or fix a hole in the drywall.  However, she was also willing to admit when she was not as adept at certain tasks.  One case in point was cooking.  My mom didn’t really cook, and with the exception of meat loaf, broiled meats, and sukiyaki which was made with canned sukiyaki vegetables and fresh beef, her idea of cooking was looking at the back of the Stouffer’s box to see to what temperature the oven needed to be heated. 

Since Mom was always working so much, she was doing the best she could to provide for me, but even if she had time to cook, it just wasn’t her thing.  So I wasn’t surprised when she VERY eagerly encouraged me to bake and cook after I had revealed to her that I had an interest in doing so.  In fact, when I was 17, I told my mom, “Let’s not go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving this year, I wanna make an entire turkey feast!”  She was doubtful that I could pull it off, but when I did, she told me that I had full permission to repeat the process every subsequent year if I wanted. 

My mother was always interested in spy stories and mysteries, and had told me that she once wanted to become a private detective.  She also wanted to travel internationally, but sadly was never able to do so, mostly due to a lack of money, but also because she was so devoted to work and to me that it would have been difficult for her at best to go traipsing all over the globe. 

By the time I actively began pursuing my own international travel goals, my mom was already ill, so there was no way that she could join me in those travels.  In an effort to bring exotic locales to her, I would share all the photos, videos, and funny stories I had collected from my travels.  I often thought that if she hadn’t had me, she might have been that jet-setter she had dreamt of becoming, but as we all know, life can take us in all kinds of directions we hadn’t anticipated.

Even though I was her only child, my mom probably also really would have been happy to have had other children besides me, and I was able to see her motherly devotion given to others when I got her a Scottish Fold kitten, whom she named Spencer Tracy.  That little dude stole her heart, so much so that I got a bit edged out! After she had had him for about a year, she started referring to the cat as my baby brother!  There was one time when I was at her apartment, and figured I would sleep in my former bedroom, but Mister Spencer would have none of it!  He hissed and carried on so much that I was effectively banished to the sofa for that evening!  What a bratty brother!

Harriet also adored my ex-husband, not only while we were married, but throughout the years after we divorced. Whenever he would visit her at the assisted living facility, my mom would pretty much ignore me, and devote all her attention to him.  This would prompt me to say, “Hey, what am I, chopped liver?”  But I always secretly enjoyed the fact that she was so close to him.  She always had a keen interest in in hearing about other members of her family or my dad’s family as well, and even my friends, some of whom she had never even met in person. 

Over the 19 years after her brain aneurysm rupture occurred, Harriet’s tastes changed, and they were unexpected and interesting. She became a Bingo master, and I could tell she enjoyed being the boss lady, calling out the numbers and monitoring everyone else’s boards.  She won so much virtual money from those Bingo games, I tell you…if that had all been real money, she would have been able to buy something like a television! 

Speaking of television, she cultivated a passion for the Lakers, despite never having followed the NBA, or ANY major league sports for that matter, prior to 2013.  She had Lakers posters in her room, and would talk to me about the games.  Mom also kept up with current events, and was pretty hip for an elderly woman.  She surprised me shortly after Prince had passed away by telling me, with a devilish glint in her eyes, that she thought Prince had been a VERY good looking man. 

All in all, Mom was a remarkable, caring, supportive, tough, honest, opinionated woman, who made sure I developed a backbone. You would be asking for it if you wanted her opinion about something, and this was the case until very shortly before her passing.  I think people actually got a kick out of how sassy my mother could be, even though she could also be cantankerous and defiant. 

Now that my smart, strong, sassy, beautiful, amazing mother is gone and no longer suffering, I can honestly say that I must have been the luckiest person in the world to have had this wonderful woman as my mother, my hero, and my best friend. 

Cat Bounce Website…Try It!

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I just came across this fun little website on which you can make cats bounce! You can even click on the cats to make them bounce even more. This is a great distraction if you’re having a rough day and just need to check out mentally and cheer up.

https://cat-bounce.com/

Have fun!

The Hot and Cold Man

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About a month ago, I went on a date with a man I will call Oliver. We started out with drinks, and as the evening progressed, we had a nice dinner, all the while enjoying stimulating conversation. I was actually excited about the prospect of seeing him again. Then one of my 14 year old cats became ill and died within several days, and my attention was diverted away from Oliver. I was very honest with him and told him I needed the weekend to process the death of my beloved cat, but he was insistent and kept pressuring me to pay attention to him, which only aggravated me. He finally backed off, and I contacted him at the beginning of the following week. We exchanged some nice sentiments via text, and I let him know that I was open to seeing him again.

About ten days passed without a peep from Oliver, so I contacted him to say hello. He informed me that his mother was ill with pneumonia, and that he had been at her home taking care of her. I expressed my wishes for his mother’s recovery, and told him to let me know when he was available. I heard from him three days later, on a Thursday, when he sent me this text:

I want to make it up to you because I like you and I feel that there’s a good connection between us. So please consider this, if you have any time over the weekend, I would love to see you over the weekend if not the beginning of the week. Give us a chance, OK? I will make it up to you Stacey.

Oliver ghosted me for another ten days, then suddenly popped up with text messages like, “I want to marry you”. It was as if he was incapable of exhibiting consistent behavior, which was a major turn-off for me. One morning, he asked me to give him a day on which we could have a second date, so I accommodated his request. Just as I expected, he completely ghosted me on the day he had selected for our second date, so I gave him a piece of my mind via text and blocked the jerk.

Are there any decent men out there anymore?

Bread or Bead?

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Copyright: melaninaevgeniya

It’s always a good idea to read invitations carefully, as this story will emphasize!

My friend Karla received an invitation to a bridal shower. When she scanned over the invite, she read that all guests were asked to bring a bread to the event. In an effort to make sure that the bread she got was special, Karla trekked over to a bakery which sold Häsi bread, a specialty sourdough bread which is saturated with turmeric and butterfly pea flower to create a distinctive blue and yellow coloring which is both striking and delicious. Feeling quite proud of her selection, Karla made her way over to the bridal shower.

When Karla arrived at the bridal shower, she noticed that there were about 50 people there, but she didn’t see any other loaves of bread at the party. What she did notice was that there was a large tray on a table, filled with about 50 beads, some made of clear glass, some made of plastic, some made of stone. Karla asked the bride what all the beads were for, and was told that people had been asked to bring BEADS to the shower so that the bride could string them all together and make a keepsake necklace.

The best part of this completely true story is that the bride had celiac disease, and would have never asked anyone to bring bread to an event!

Wagyu Beef Really Is That Good

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Copyright: topntp

The hype about Wagyu beef is legitimate, and I am definitely a fan. I will admit that I was concerned when I saw how Wagyu beef has marbling woven throughout the meat, but oddly enough, wagyu beef is higher in monounsaturated fat than other types of beef, with lower overall calories as well. Another plus of Wagyu beef which is a result of the extensive fine marbling is that it cooks very quickly, making it a splendid choice for hot pot meals and Korean barbeque.

Japan is so strict about how Wagyu beef is graded that even a USDA Prime grade in the United States is considered only a four on the five-point Japanese scale for Wagyu. In addition, only beef from certain breeds even qualifies as Wagyu. As a beef lover, I am always impressed by the texture of A5 Wagyu beef, which is the highest grade afforded to Wagyu, but the flavor is also so refined and delectable that there is no way I could ever pass up an opportunity to consume it. I don’t even like loading up much on sauces or other condiments, because I don’t want anything to interfere with the nuances of the Wagyu. A very apt description of the flavor of A5 Wagyu can be found at Eataly Toronto:

“You’ll find that it has a buttery, yet firm texture and lustrous, red colour It’s a very juicy style of beef with some serious umami flavour. Although it has a strong beefy taste, it’s more “sweet” than “greasy.””

In other words, it’s absolutely delicious!

Why Raves Are So Appealing

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Copyright: cunaplus

Back in March of this year, I attended my very first rave, a smaller event which was held indoors at a theater in downtown Los Angeles. What surprised me was how loving, accepting, and cool just about everyone was at the event and how consistent they were with PLUR, an acronym which stands for Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect. It was as if all judgement, criticism, pretense and posturing had been left at the entrance to the event, and I have to admit that it was refreshing and lovely. I was so enraptured by the energy at the event and so into the music that I was left wanting more when it was time to leave.

I have to admit that I am a bit hesitant to attend the larger, outdoor festivals, for a number of reasons which are well detailed here. It just doesn’t seem like it would be very fun to sit in a Porta-Potty with a full length bodysuit gathered around my ankles, nor does it seem like fun to have a bunch of strangers sweating on me while I dance to electronic music. It was already quite stuffy and hot while I was at the indoor venue, and that was during a part of the year when the outside temperature was in the upper 40’s Fahrenheit. Bear in mind that it is customary and almost required that attendees dress scantily, primarily to offset the increased ambient temperature which develops as a result of all the human bodies gyrating and dancing together in a small space, and also as a proclamation of body awareness and acceptance.

Despite the fact that the venue was pretty packed, and the ambient temperature was pretty toasty, I had an incredible time, and can’t wait to attend another rave. There is something so liberating about dancing without a care in the world, moving with the beat of the music, and feeling absolutely no judgement from other people at the event. It was also fun to dress up, especially because it has been years since I have dressed up for Halloween or masquerade balls. Raves are a fantastic way for adults to align with their childlike energy, and let go.

How Long Do Cats Live?

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Have you ever wondered how old your cat was? There is an updated formula which replaces the outdated 7 human years per cat year which provides a more accurate assessment of a cat’s development. The first year of a cat’s life is equivalent to 14 human years, the second year is equivalent to 10 human years, and every year thereafter is equivalent to 4 human years. For example, a 18-year-old cat would be equivalent to an 80-year-old human.

In recent years, feline life-stages have been redefined as well to more accurately reflect their growth and development over the years. Kittenhood is defined as the period from birth to 6 months of age, a junior is between 7 months to 2 years of age, a young adult is between 3 to 6 years of age, a mature cat is between 7 to 10 years old, senior cats are between 11 to 14 years of age, and super senior or geriatric cats are 15 years old or older.

Mixed breed cats tend to live longer than purebred cats, with an average lifespan of 14 years compared to 12.5 years for purebred cats. The most common cause of death in cats over 5 years old is kidney disease, with over 13% of cats succumbing to kidney failure. Out of the 13 cats I have had over the span of 37 years, three of them passed away as a result of kidney disease, so I am acutely aware of this statistic.

However, I met two cats in the past who beat the averages, with one cat at 25 years of age, and another who was a ripe old 29 years of age. Both cats were extremely frail and only had the energy to sleep, eat, drink, and take care of excretory functions, but it was impressive to see that they were still alive at such advanced ages.

Supposedly, the oldest cat was Creme Puff, who lived 38 years, from August 3, 1967 until August 6, 2005. There are several cats who are still alive at this point, the oldest of whom is Great Grandma Wad who is 36 years old. The oldest cat who is still alive who was verified by Guiness Book of World Records is Flossie, who was born on December 29, 1995.

Little Spoons

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Kazu, the best little spoon ever…

On May 12, 2023, I lost Kazu, my 14-year old European Burmese who was truly the most incredible cat I have ever had. She had countless adorable habits, including hopping instead of walking downstairs, performing somersaults on the stairs on a daily basis, and lying in a human’s lap on her back with all four limbs perched in mid-air, purring so fiercely that her limbs would move in rhythm with the rumble. One of my favorite things about Kazu was the fact that she would sleep next to me every night, throughout the night, and her purr motor would start up as soon as she saw my eyes open in the morning. There were also times when Kazu would be the big spoon, putting her cute little paws on my back and nestling in my hair as I slept on my side turned away from her.

Every night, Kazu would bound up the stairs to our bedroom, hop onto the bed, wait for me to settle in under the covers and lift them for her, then she would get into position so that her body would be under the covers and her head would be either on my shoulder, arm, or on the pillow next to me, with her body snuggled up right next to mine. It’s no surprise that I haven’t been able to sleep very well since she passed. What’s even more remarkable is that I had three cats in succession from 1988 through 2023 who were my bed buddies, and all of them were my “little spoons”.

The first little spoon I had was Pebbles, a tortie who was full of tortie sass, had a loud purr similar to Kazu’s which could be heard from an adjacent room, and who would sleep next to me through the night every night. She was in my life from 1988 until 2000, when kidney disease took her from me. Before Pebbles died, I got a blue silver patched spotted tabby and white Scottish Fold kitten in November 2000 and named her Sophie. Little did I know that Sophie would soon take over as my little spoon, curling up next to me, often in the crook of my arm, and sleep throughout the night that way.

My Scottish Fold Sophie…

Sophie developed polycystic kidney disease at the age of 9, in 2009, which was when I got Kazu. When Sophie died in late 2009, Kazu had not yet developed any consistent bed habits, but before long, she began sleeping next to me in bed, and became my third little spoon. Anyone who is lucky enough to have a cat who sleeps snuggled up next to them throughout the night is blessed indeed, and I had three cats do that over the span of 35 years. I certainly hope to experience that again in the future.

Where To Invest Your Money Right Now

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If you have money invested in traditional bank savings accounts, you’re doing yourself a major disservice, because the average APY (Annual Percentage Yield) is currently at 0.23% according to CNET’s sister site Bankrate. In startk contrast, high yield online savings accounts from sites such as CIT Bank offer APY’s over 4% (CIT Bank’s current rate is 4.85% APY for balances of $5,000 or more). I have parked emergency funds and other savings into high yield savings accounts for about 8 years now, and would never consider putting my money into the paltry savings vehicles which traditional banks offer.

Let’s take the APY rates of 0.23% and 4.85% to provide a comparison between traditional savings accounts and high yield onling savings accounts. If $1,000 is invested in an account earning 0.23% APY, the account balance after 12 months will be $1,002.30, while $1,000 invested in an account earning 4.85% APY will have a balance after 12 months of $1,048.54. I’m sure anyone would be happier with having an additional $48 at the end of the year as opposed to $2!

Another investment alternative which actually has slightly higher yields than high yield savings accounts is a certificate of deposit (CD), but the downside is that the funds are locked up for a designated period of time. If you have money which you are willing to set aside into a CD, you might want to consider this investment vehicle. At least with a high yield savings account, you can withdraw funds rather quickly without penalty should the need arise. Some individuals who are accustomed to brick and mortar banks and traditional ATM machines won’t like this option, but I am sure that eventually, physical bank locations will go the way of the dinosaur, so it makes sense to get used to performing transactions online.

The other thing to consider is that the APY at online banks which offer high yield savings options can and does frequently fluctuate. However, accounts at such institutions are FDIC insured for up to $250,000, a comforting fact when trying to figure out how to protect one’s savings in these tumultuous financial times. At the very least, high yield savings accounts provide a means by which one’s money can keep pace with inflation.