Ignore The Haters! An Article For Those Who Compete

Original post can be found at http://www.rxmuscle.com/rx-girl-articles/9306-ignore-the-haters.html

ignore-the-hatersMany of you ladies are well acquainted with the rigors of contest prep and understand the level of intensity and commitment required. Some of you are fortunate enough to have a great support network in which partners, family, coworkers and friends are in your cheering section and encourage all of your efforts. Unfortunately, however, some competitors may have to deal with people who discourage them or in some fashion try to interfere with their prep. I have heard husbands complain that their wives spend too much time in the gym or cannot eat restaurant meals with them. A few of my clients have lamented that family members or friends actually got angry with them for training so hard or for being so driven. The less the hater knows about the world of bodybuilding, the harsher the criticism becomes, usually as a result of ignorance and the perpetuation of erroneous stereotypes about bodybuilding.

I once had a client who almost talked herself out of competing as a reaction to her ultra-conservative mother’s opinion of bodybuilding contests. Her mother was horrified by the idea that women actually got onstage in bikinis and was deeply resistant to the idea of her daughter doing such a thing. It did not matter that her daughter was in her 30’s with children of her own. What was so sad was that everyone else in my client’s life was supportive and encouraging. For once this woman was paying attention to herself instead of doling out her energy to her spouse, children and parents, and it met with resistance.

Another frequent complaint, and one which I have heard personally, is one in which the loved one bitches about how stupid it seems to chase after a national qualification, IFBB Pro Card or Olympia qualification. Those who do not compete cannot fully appreciate the reasons competitors have to reach for that carrot. The drive is deep and in most cases incredibly personal. There is no question that competing can be extremely expensive, and it can be very frustrating to deal with less than stellar placings which push us to do more contests in order to reach our goals. It is also true that the allure of a Pro Card can fool some competitors into thinking that attaining Pro status will deliver much more than acceptance into the prestigious IFBB ranks (such as supplement company contracts, magazine covers, etc.). However, if you are realistic and are pursuing the next level of achievement for your own personal reasons, then declare that when someone tries to criticize you. My advice is to dig your heels in and fight for your right to do something that is inspiring and empowering.

You may have people in your life who believe that you are getting too ripped and muscular. Invariably the people who make such remarks are not weightlifters, so they do not understand the mentality of those who lift and thus are not comfortable with the idea of building and sculpting muscle. If you are in a bulking phase, your appearance can be especially jarring for those who do not appreciate muscle, and the negative comments are likely to increase in frequency. It’s no surprise that those of us who compete tend to hang out with other lifters in an effort to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who can relate to what we go through and who won’t fling negative comments about our muscularity or vascularity our way.

Perhaps you only deal with minimal criticism but still have trouble processing it. I know that the majority of you who compete have been in situations where family, friends or coworkers have tried to convince you to abandon your strict meal plan, telling you that “just this once” won’t hurt you. They may even resort to accusing you of being a stick in the mud for not caving into peer pressure. It is at times like these that you need to remind yourself of your goals and that adherence to your meal plan is an insurance plan to being on point when contest day arrives. You know that every time you fall off the wagon, so to speak, you jeopardize everything you have spent the past few weeks or months to build. Why do yourself such a disservice only to appease others? Do not bother yourself with what they think, because it is not worth it.

Consider the reasons why you compete and what kind of satisfaction you get from competing. Are you really going to let the people in your life drag you down and criticize you for doing something that you enjoy? Remember that your journey is not only about physical transformation, it is also spiritual. You are all grown women with minds of your own, so STAND YOUR GROUND!

Work Out Like You Are In a Race…Every Time!

Gym BeastWhat is it with people who go to the gym and spend several minutes between sets chatting with others, checking text messages, and finding other distractions which deter them from starting the next set? I am not kidding when I say that I train rapidly, resting only 30 seconds between sets or supersets, and I do this all the time. That is part of the reason why I do NOT want to chat at the gym. Believe me when I say that I am thinking about my next set while I am resting. I do not allow random thoughts to creep in because they can throw me off, especially if they are anxiety-provoking. When in the gym, distractions and worries MUST be pushed aside, because there is nothing to be gained from fretting over life’s trials during that brief time. I figure that my task at the gym is to WORK OUT with the focus on myself. I have the rest of the day to tend to my responsibilities and to others.

I wear earbuds and listen to tunes on my iPod, and I move quickly from one exercise to the next when supersetting. It still amazes me how many people will interrupt me when they can see that I have earbuds on! Another thing that helps to keep me moving rapidly is my busy schedule. I almost always have somewhere I need to be immediately after my workouts, so I focus on getting things done. Even when I am not prepping for an upcoming contest, I work out quickly and with intensity. Recently, someone approached me at the gym and said that he had never seen someone work out as intensely as me, and that it was an admirable thing. This same person assumed that I worked out all day, every day. I honestly do not have that luxury, and besides, I firmly believe that you do not and should not train for lengthy periods of time in an effort to train effectively. I usually complete my lifting regimen in 30 to 75 minutes each day.

Here is a tip if you are having trouble moving rapidly through pyramids or supersets: Line up all the equipment you will need and move quickly from one exercise or weight to the next. If you keep re-racking weights between sets, you will waste time.

Why Being Single Sucks

Though I will never advocate staying in a relationship in which you are miserable for the sake of being in a relationship, I have always been relationship-minded. I am programmed to devote my time and energy to one man and am puzzled by people who can play the field without any difficulty. To me it is like eating a bunch of different foods at an all-you-can-eat buffet where there are so many choices that you never really savor the flavor of anything. Dating is so random, rather empty, and can often feel more like an interview than a social interaction.
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I have been single since April and have hated every minute of it. I hadn’t realized how ridiculously high my standards were until I gave some thought recently to the essential criteria which anyone who would spark my interest enough to date would need to possess. Such pondering has made me believe that the men I would gravitate towards only exist in fairy tales. How could I possibly find someone VERY fit (as in fitness model level or above), VERY attractive, tall, preferably younger, financially secure, geographically close, possessed of decent values, devoted, honest, interesting, affectionate, attentive without being clingy, chivalrous, generous, protective, open to a lifelong commitment, interested in attending fitness and bodybuilding events with me, who truly understands what clean eating is and who won’t sabotage my efforts to prep for shoots or contests? I would say that is a very tall order!

Another thing that runs through my mind is that it is very difficult for me to dine out, especially if I am prepping for a contest. Most restaurant fare is out for me. I am also amazed by how much alcohol some people like to consume during a dinner, and I find it horrifying. I wonder if the guy really needs all that booze to disinhibit himself, and I also become wary that such a man may become presumptuous at the end of the dinner and make an idiot out of himself by making some sort of overt and unwelcome pass at me. Besides, my cheat meals are few and far between, so there is no way I could fill my social calendar while also following a clean meal plan. My fitness goals are far more important than succumbing to peer pressure at a restaurant with someone I barely know!

Being in single mode means the interviews will take place and I will have to assess whether a man has any potential with respect to dating. Something tells me I will spend most of my nights in front of the TV alone instead of putting myself out there. I have no desire to potentially endure the dreaded date in which you know within minutes that there is no love connection and must suffer through the duration of the lunch or dinner. I am also not thrilled with the idea of losing time in the evenings when I could be writing articles, doing food prep or working out.

I truly miss being in a relationship. There is nothing better when the relationship is great and you are always made to feel special and loved no matter what. What I miss the most about being in a relationship is snuggling on the couch to watch a movie, waking up next to the man I love, seeing his personal belongings here and there in the house, his smell, his smile, and his kisses. Hopefully the universe will reward me eventually.

Yes It’s True…I Hate Pink

PinkI hate the color pink with a passion, regardless of whether it’s baby, bubble gum, rose, magenta, hot, blush, fuschia, or any other shade in the pink portion of the spectrum. So it bothers me to no end when people, especially men, assume that every female likes pink and that all females should identify with the color since it is a “girl’s” color. I am not a fan of gender stereotyping and find myself delighted when I hear a woman say she hates pink, or that she refuses to dress her young daughter in pink. Amen to that!

My mother certainly fell under the gender constraints which dictated that her daughter must wear pink, but thankfully she allowed me to assert my personality and hatred of pink in my day to day wear. However, I did not win the battle when it came to my yearly portrait sitting. In fact, there were SEVERAL years in which I was made to wear baby pink chiffon dresses to my portrait sitting. This was utter torture for me, because I felt like a poof of pink cotton candy, ultra-girly and completely unlike the tomboyish girl I was. My mom would point out that I would only have to wear a dreaded pink garment for a few hours, and that pink was SUCH a good color on me. Truth be told, many shades of pink flatter my complexion very well, but the mere sight of pink just turns my stomach and I will not wear it, period.

Some people may regard pink as a happy, calming, comforting color, but to me, it is just plain UGLY. Even with purple, which is one of my favorite colors, any strong leaning towards the pink spectrum and I will choose a different color entirely. I look at pink and I think of Pepto-Bismol and weakness. It is very safe to assume that I will reject anything (that includes clothing, accessories, decor items, etc.) that is pink. I can guarantee that I will never have logos or merchandise which have the color pink in them. It was difficult for me to pick an image for this blogpost because I knew it had to be pink. My hatred of pink is consistent and pervasive.

Pink is NOT for this girl!

Just Because I CAN Open The Door, Doesn’t Mean I Should…

door-hold-not-quiteI am starting to get very tired of men who are trying to kill the principle of chivalry by abandoning gestures that make a woman feel special and cared for. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I am physically strong with visible muscular development, or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am a mentally strong and independent woman. However, just about every woman I know likes having doors opened for her and having chairs pulled out when she is about to sit down. Call me old-fashioned, but I have always considered such things the mark of a gentleman rather than as a sign of male chauvinism.

Another thing that irks me is when men do not make any move to help if a woman is carrying a bunch of heavy items. Some will even complain that they do not want to be seen as strong men capable of lifting and moving heavy objects because then they feel obligated to help out. When you consider the fact that men outweigh women and have more muscle mass than women, wouldn’t it make sense to offer to help? I have moved 7-1/2 feet tall Noble Firs into the house for Christmas with no help whatsoever, almost throwing my back out in the process. I have also injured my shoulder and wrist when carrying heavy things by myself because men (make that BOYS) were unwilling to help out.

Just to make things very clear, I like having doors opened for me, and I regard offers to help me move items a sign of regard for my safety. I will never take such offers as insults. Men who do such things have manners, something that is seriously lacking in the younger generations.

Taking A Break From Your Phone

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Cell phone technology has become so advanced that we now carry handheld supercomputers with us wherever we go. What I do NOT like about this supposed convenience is that it has enslaved us to the gadgets. Between checking emails, texts, voicemail messages, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram via my phone on a daily basis, I have developed a rather hearty love-hate relationship with the thing. There is also a bit of a damned-if-I-do, damned-if-I-don’t curse which has pervaded my daily life. If I take my phone with me, I get bombarded, and if I leave my phone in the car or at home, I will invariably upset someone by not being readily available as a result.

I remember the good old days when people would call you at home, and if you weren’t available, they left a message which you could return at your convenience. In this instant feedback network we have created, we have become so accustomed to immediate responses that cell phones have become an immense distraction to the natural rhythm of life. In some sense we have sacrificed freedom for convenience, an ironic thing when you think about it. I remember getting my first cell phone and feeling so liberated because I no longer had to worry about people having difficulty getting in touch with me, and for some time it was incredibly convenient. Lately, however, I find myself constantly checking my phone’s buzzing or vibrating to see if the incoming communication is a Facebook email, a Yahoo! email, a text message, a voicemail message, a Tweet, etc. I see others doing the same thing, often to such an extent that they will ignore friends they are congregating with in order to check their phones.

I am very curious to know what all this technology and convenience is doing to our ability to take a break from the day and truly relax. My concern over this has resulted in a daily habit I have which is to put my cell phone on the charger when I come home, set the phone face down, and TAKE A BREAK from it. I am sure the rest of you could do the same without any negative effects. I have no intention of continuing to be encumbered by a Smartphone!

Bikini Olympia 2013

Below is the list of IFBB Pro Bikini athletes who will be gracing the Olympia stage this weekend. Cognratulations to all!
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2013 BIKINI OLYMPIA

Nathalia Melo, Brazil
Nicole Nagrani, USA
India Paulino, USA
Dianna Dahlgren, USA (retired)
Jaime Baird, USA
Yeshaira Robles, USA
Michelle Brannan, UK
Justine Munro, Canada
Amanda Latona, USA
Vladimira Krasova, Czech Republic (Overall Winner, Amateur Bikini Olympia)
Ashley LeBlanc, USA
Stacey Alexander, USA
Jennifer Andrews, USA
Pollianna Moss, USA
Courtney King, USA
Ashley Kaltwasser, USA
Narmin Assria, USA
Candice Conroy, USA
Anna Virmajoki, Finland
Noemi Olah, Hungary

POINT STANDINGS

1. Lacey DeLuca, USA, 14
2. Tiffany Marie Boydston, USA, 13
2. Jessica Arevalo, USA, 13
2. Tawna Eubanks, USA, 13
2. Gigi Amurao, USA, 13