I was tricked by a lovebomber in March, and am still stunned by how quickly the so-called relationship advanced, how much of a textbook lovebomber the guy turned out to be, and how I felt like a complete fool at the end of the whole process. I am so enraged by what happened that I felt the need to warn other women about this type of man, and RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

Physically speaking, Ted wasn’t the type of man I would usually go for. He was very slender, had very long hair halfway down his back (not my thing at all), and was unusual looking. I dug the fact that he was half Japanese though, because as a half-Japanese woman, I have found that I relate so well to other half-Japanese people, and was even engaged to a half-Japanese man many years ago. As soon as Ted found out that I was half-Japanese, he highlighted that fact, and even told me that he had gotten a sign some years ago that the love of his life would be half-Japanese and would have a name that started with an S. I now believe that he made that up to pull me in emotionally.

I was also concerned about his checkered past, but as soon as we started chatting on the dating app that fateful Monday, I felt so much at ease with him that it honestly didn’t matter. Our first phone call the following night lasted 7 hours, then on Wednesday night we had another 7-hour phone conversation. We made plans to meet for dinner in my part of town on Thursday night, and he took care of selecting a restaurant, stating “you’re so busy and I want to make sure that I always help you out” which I mistakenly thought was a sweet gesture. As it turned out, someone hit his car when he was en route to my place and totaled his car, but since his car was still driveable, he continued to head to my place. He did ask me if we could take my car, to which I agreed without hesitation.

When Ted showed up at my door, I honestly felt like I was a participant in the show Love Is Blind, because though we had connected so beautifully on the phone, his appearance left a bit to be desired. He wore a surf pullover and jeans, not exactly appropriate for a night out on the town. He also had a disheveled appearance, but I shrugged it off. I drove us to the restaurant, a small sushi bar in my area, and we had such a fantastic time chatting and eating there that we agreed to continue the evening at my home by listening to music and talking. Our late night chat progressed into an overnight visit.

The next morning, we just kept talking until about 11 am, without a care in the world. Ted stated that despite the fact that he would have to call the insurance company about his car, and also arrange to have his other car fixed so that he could drive it, he didn’t want to leave. So I ordered lunch to be delivered, which he insisted on paying for. We continued talking for several hours, so I ordered dinner to be delivered, which he also paid for. Ted didn’t leave my place until about midnight that Friday. Ted told me on Friday that he already deleted the dating app, and I happily followed suit.

Since Ted was about to start an intense new job the following week, and also since he had car issues, that meant that we would have to rely on phone calls and texts, as well as me visiting him. He called me that Saturday, and we had a 6-hour phone call, during which he told me he loved me, and I swooned, returning the sentiment to him. What a whirlwind the whole experience was! I made arrangements to go to his place on Sunday, and told him I would cook for him, especially since he revealed to me that no woman had ever cooked for him. I lugged all the spices and other ingredients we needed for dinner to his place and cooked dinner, then stayed over that night. I made enough food to get him through his first week at the new job. The following morning, I took him to his new place of employment.

The second week with Ted was a bit rough, because he was forced to work a grueling schedule which included a 2:30 pm to 1:00 am shift that started on Wednesday. But by that time, I was so blinded by love that I was willing to do anything to help him out.

Skipping ahead to the second Saturday with Ted in my life, I was suddenly met with a cold shoulder. I was yet again supposed to go to his place to cook dinner as well as food for him for the following week, and we had agreed that it would be a good idea for me to come by around 11 am so that we could maximize our weekend time together. I was running behind, so I texted him to let him know. No response. I texted him around 12:15 pm to let him know I was on the road, and got a text from him saying that he had forgotten that he had a funeral to attend (he had mentioned this several days before, but we both forgot about it), that he had forgotten about it, but that I could still come over because he had given me a key to his place. I stated that I had stuff to do at home, and that I would prefer to wait until he got home after the funeral. Despite the fact that I was a bit miffed about the fact that he couldn’t text me or call me to let me know that he realized that he had to go to the funeral, I attributed it to him being sleep-deprived.

When I finally arrived at his place that Saturday evening, he was oddly distant, and when I asked if he was all right, he said that he was sad because of the funeral. However, he didn’t touch me, and when I touched him, he almost recoiled. Since I had so much food to prepare, I set about cooking everything while he blabbed about his day. The evening progressed nicely, but he was still a bit off. The next morning, as I was leaving, I asked him if he wanted to talk that night, to which he replied, “Oh yes, babe, absolutely”, and kissed me goodbye.

Ted then proceeded to ghost me. I didn’t hear a peep from him all day Sunday, and when I saw the next morning that he was active on Instagram, I became extremely irritated. I texted him, asking what was going on. His response was to dump me, stating that he wouldn’t be ready for a relationship for a while, and that he hoped that I would find what I was looking for in a relationship. Just like that, he was done with me.

Ladies, you have to be careful with these lovebombers! They will promise you the moon and stars, then pull the rug out from under you. I feel like such a fool, and now my radar is sharpened so that I never fall victim to that nonsense ever again.