Blue Man Group Honors The Booty!

Blue Man Group BootyI finally had an opportunity to see the Blue Man Group recently, and enjoyed the show immensely. Not only was the music awesome, the visual effects were very cool and the performers were hilarious. They perform a song in which they encourage the audience to shake their rear ends, building the beat with lyrics that expand on all the euphemistic terms which exist for that part of the body. I had no idea there were so many clever terms in existence!

Whether you are familiar with the song which the Blue Man Group performs or not, you should get a kick out of the following terms which are in the song lyrics.

I hope you enjoy this list as much as I did…

hind-quarters
backside
bottom
buttocks
Your rump
posterior
heiny
keister
tush
buns
bum cakes
junk-in-the-trunk
badonk-a-donk
squash tart
fanny
double-slug
wiggle bags
mud flaps
rump rockets
flesh pot
second face
bounce house
The jiggle twins
Jar Jar Binks
bubble pop
medicine ball
sonic boom
freckle-muffin
turkey stuffin’
smiley bulldog
caboose
rump-hump
jump-pump
moneymaker
sit-biscuit
mumbler
chocolate cluster
rock tumbler
fun-cooker
subwoofer
horn section
Frodo
John Madden
launch pad
Moscow
The Outback
rotunda
The closer
The crock pot
jumbo-tron
airbags
happy walrus with no tusks
two boneless friends
George Foreman grill
dinner with André
The place where all burritos go
Minneapolis and St. Paul
giant fluffy bears
Ollie vs. Frasier
Elvis Aaron Presley
buttercup
monster truck
life’s work
waffle iron
skin smurf
wiggle cloud
air balloons

“But I Can’t Cook!”

Chicken breastsNutritional consultations are always interesting for me because I find out how truly weird some people’s eating habits are. Busy work and life schedules are often to blame for poor eating habits, but when I hear patients say that they are completely devoid of any cooking skills, I begin to wonder if they were ever encouraged to learn how to cook. I truly believe that every adult should have basic cooking skills. It is not that difficult to cook eggs in a skillet, throw meat on a broiler, cook oatmeal or bake a potato. It’s not as if any of those items require advanced culinary skills in order to make them tasty!

You should be able to cook different types of meat without much effort. Other than meat (and this includes red meat, poultry and fish), you can simply purchase frozen or fresh vegetables and eat them with minimal prep beforehand. Get a cookie sheet and some nonstick cooking spray. Take chicken breasts, pre-formed turkey or beef patties, or fish fillets and place them on the sprayed cookie sheet. With poultry and beef, you can broil these meats for about eight minutes, then flip over, broiling for another eight to ten minutes. If the chisken breasts are very thick, slice them lengthwise so that they cook more quickly and more evenly. Make sure the centers of the chicken breasts are cooked through and not pink. With fish, you are better off baking them at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for six to eight minutes, flipping over, then baking for another six to eight minutes. If you are feeling adventurous, you can add some light salt-free seasoning or salt and pepper.

It really isn’t that difficult to cook, so why not try cooking up some lean protein this week?

West Coast All The Way

Christmas Lights Palm trees 5The older I get, the more I realize that I am very set in my native Californian roots. Perhaps it is because I have been spoiled with a lifetime of glorious weather, or perhaps it is due more to the cadence of the West Coast lifestyle, but I am a West Coast girl through and through. You can go on and on about how wonderful it is on the East Coast, or how diverse Texas (or fill in the blank with your state) is, but you you could never convince me to relocate from the left coast. California is incredibly diverse, so if I was inclined to travel to the snow or see another part of the state, I could easily jump in my car and take a road trip. However, I LOVE Southern California’s mild weather and am resistant to leaving it. I know that quite a few of you are convinced that harsh seasonal weather is preferable to a potential 80 degree Fahrenheit Christmas, but I will take the latter any day!

While those of you in colder climates may enjoy the hush of falling snow while you gather around the Christmas tree, I prefer looking out the window to see sunshine. The idea of bundling up heavily just to step outside seems utterly ludicrous to me. Now, before you start assuming that Los Angeles doesn’t get cold, I will tell you it can drop to the mid-20’s F at night where I live. Weather patterns can get pretty random over here, with high temps one week in the 80’s and the next in the 60’s. When the mercury drops below 40 degrees here, I find it extremely difficult to motivate myself to step outside unless absolutely necessary. I fully admit to being a cold weather wimp and cannot be convinced that there is any benefit to battling snow, ice and sub-zero temperatures. Sorry, but I am staying put in SoCal!

Selecting The Right Competition Suit Cut For Your Body

Figure Suit, Suits You SwimwearOriginal post can be found at http://www.rxmuscle.com/rx-girl-articles/9788-selecting-the-right-suit-cut-for-your-body.html

Competition suit designs can vary widely depending on the suit designer, fabric type, body measurements and proportions of the competitor. Though you may be tempted to go the cheaper route and either borrow or rent a suit or purchase an off the rack suit that is not made to fit your particular body, I always recommend having a suit custom made which is cut to your measurements. Trust me, it makes a huge difference when you wear a suit that compliments your body!

Here are some basic guidelines which work for any division in which you compete.

Narrow chest: If you have a naturally narrow chest, make sure the triangle cups are spaced farther apart to give the illusion of a wider chest. You can use a crystal center connector, but make sure it is not too bulky so that the eye goes to the triangle cups and not to the center of the suit top. If you have a crystal pattern on your suit, you should select a pattern which draws the eye up and out, perhaps with lighter colored crystals on the lateral portions of the cups.

Wide chest: If your chest is extremely wide, make sure to select triangle cups which are wide enough to cover your entire breast area. If your breasts are augmented and they sit very far apart, you might want to consider a molded cup which will push your implants towards the midline and create a bit of cleavage.

Large implants: Some competitors have extremely large implants which can be distracting onstage. Your best bet is to select a full coverage top which encases your breasts completely, allowing for no side boob or under boob.

Sagging breasts: Though I am not a big fan of molded cups, sagging breasts will require some support, so molded cups are the best option in this case. Once again, if you have a lot of breast tissue, you need to make sure that your breasts are mostly covered by the suit material and are well supported by the molded cups. It looks very sloppy when a competitor with sagging breasts wears a flimsy triangle top which does not support her. Sagging breast tissue can hang over the ribcage and often obscure any serratus anterior development. Support your girls!

Small breasts: I know that many women feel rather self-conscious if they are very small-chested and usually opt to wear padded suit tops. If you are a small B to a C cup, you can purchase silicone triangle push-up pads which work beautifully in the pockets of a competition suit top. Just make sure that your suit maker puts pockets in the triangles so that you can insert the pads easily. If you are an A or AA cup or completely flat-chested, you might want to have a suit cup design which is fully padded. If you go with this option, make sure that the cups sit properly, neither too far apart nor too close together, since fully padded suit tops can easily look fake if this is not taken into consideration.

Long torso: If you have a long torso, chances are that your leg line is shorter in proportion to your torso. If this is the case, have the suit bottoms cut very high so that they sit at your waistline (unless you are a Bikini competitor, in which case you should have the bottoms sit just above your hip bones). This will give the illusion of a shorter torso and longer legs.

Short torso: If your torso is short, chances are that your legs are either of normal length or quite long. A suit bottom which sits low on the hips, below the hip bones, will create illusion of a longer torso, as will a steeper V-cut in the center of the bottoms. Bikini competitors can select a lower scooped rise in the bottoms to lengthen the torso line.
Wide trunk: If you have a very wide midsection, avoid horizontal cuts on the front of the suit bottoms and opt instead for a V-cut. The sides of the suit bottoms should sit very high to further create the illusion of a nipped-in waist.

C-section scars or saggy abdominal skin: If you have a998805 665046383515546 812080141 n C-section scar or saggy abdominal skin, choose a slightly higher rise in the suit bottoms to tuck the scar or skin in. Once you add suit adhesive at the contest, you should feel secure in the suit.

Long legs: Choose a suit bottom which sits low on the hips, below the hip bones, in order to create illusion of a longer torso and more proportionate legs.

Short legs: If you have a shorter leg line, have the suit bottoms cut very high so that they sit at your waistline (unless you are a Bikini competitor, in which case you should have the bottoms sit just above your hip bones). This will give the illusion of a shorter torso and longer legs.

Flat glutes: Some competitors have flatter glutes which can be lifted by a suit. Basically, the suit should be cut so that it holds and lifts up most of the glute area. This is usually done with the strategic placement of elastic in the bottoms so that the garment hoists everything up instead of just lying on top of the area.

Narrow hips: If you have narrow hips, you will need to select a suit bottom with a more horizontal cut which will give the illusion of a wider hip line. For a typical V-cut suit bottom, a flatter or wider cut can still be accomplished without losing the standard suit design. For the Bikini Division, you can select a suit bottom which is completely horizontal. If your hips are excessively narrow, you should opt for fabric at the hips instead of crystal or string connectors. However, many ladies who have slightly narrow hips look fantastic with crystal connectors at the sides.

Wide hips: Wider hips are best camouflaged by an exaggerated V-cut and sides which sit about an inch above the hip bones.
When you order a custom suit, make sure to send all your measurements to the suit maker along with photos to help him or her determine the most flattering cut for your body. Make sure to also bring up any body issues or concerns in advance so that they can be factored into the design of the suit.

I Sleep Like A Rock

Sleep-GarfieldI feel sorry for everyone who suffers from insomnia and can only imagine how exhausting it must be to have the desire to sleep with a body that won’t allow slumber to occur. Though I have had a few very brief bouts of insomnia in my life, I have always slept VERY deeply from the time I was an infant. My mother found it humorous that I could sleep through alarms and small earthquakes without a single response. This actually was problematic for me in my teens and early adulthood because it always required a gargantuan effort on my part to try to wake up at a decent hour.

Even now, after suffering from several days of sleep deprivation, my body completely rebels and insists on a full eight hours of sleep, pinning my eyelids together and making it impossible for me to progress from a state of slumber to a wakeful state until the full eight hour rest stretch is completed. I can hear insomniacs around the globe groaning as they read this blogpost, but this is honestly a problem! I can also drink a large mug of caffeinated coffee right before going to bed and sleep like a baby. Believe me when I say I wish I could bottle this up for insomniacs because I would be filthy rich by now!

Building Muscle The Vegan Way

By no means am I vegan or even vegetarian, but I appreciate the fact that many individuals have specific reasons for avoiding meat. Protein is an essential nutrient, but it is especially important for people looking to build muscle. Daily protein intake for the average individual should be around 0.8 gram of protein per kilogram of body weight, but I recommend a MUCH higher intake for weightlifters. For example, though I am 119 pounds, I currently consume 150 grams of protein per day, spread out among 6 meals. But if I were vegan, I would consume 8 meals per day instead of 6. This is due to the fact that it can be extremely challenging to consume sufficient amounts of protein, resulting in more frequent meals and a greater variety of protein sources. Another challenge which vegans face is the fact that nuts and seeds have a high caloric density and are packed with fat, so their consumption must be monitored.

Vegan foodBelow is a list of the best vegan protein sources.

Tofu

Tempeh

Lentils

Soybeans

Pinto, kidney, or black beans

Garbanzo beans

Quinoa

Almonds

Cashews

Walnuts

Peanuts

Sesame seeds

Avocado

Broccoli

Spinach

Kale

Sweet potatoes

Veggie burger

Veggie sausage

Soy Protein

Christmas As A Grownup Sucks

I will freely admit that I adopt a bit of a Grinch attitude during the holidays, but that doesn’t mean I am unpleasant to others. It simply means that I no longer look forward to putting up a tree and stockings, mostly because my mother is never there to enjoy it (she has limited mobility and cannot walk up all the stairs where I live), and also because my rascally cats would readily destroy a decorated tree in no time flat. I have even balked at the idea of putting lights up on the patio, because our electrical outlet is so temperamental that we would only be able to enjoy a few minutes of light before the circuit would shut it all down.

grinch03While I enjoy giving gifts, I cannot stand the whole ordeal of shopping and also have the worst time trying to figure out what everyone wants. What I look forward to during the holidays is seeing my friends, having them come over to eat and share in some good laughs. I get so much enjoyment out of feeding my friends, but I have yet to determine how this quirk developed. Perhaps it has something to do with my love of food, or my desire to nurture. I only hope my friends enjoy the experience as much as I do.

It’s not like I sit around and grumble, but I swear that my rescue kitty Shima could be Max while I could observe all the holiday activities with a touch of disdain. Though I appreciate the climactic scene in “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” in which the Grinch’s heart grew, I am not too keen on signing up for cardiac enlargement!

Probably the most significant element which makes Christmas special for me is having a significant other to share it with. The last time I was truly able to share the holiday with someone was eight years ago, so it has been a LONG time since I experienced such a thing. Even in my last relationship we spent Christmas apart because he went back home to be with his family every year. A new definition of Christmas will remain in place until someone comes along to truly share the holiday with me.